Loki Odinson
by Livin4Jesus
Summary: After Thor and The Avengers return Loki to Asgard, they discover not all was as it seemed and Loki may not be as lost as everyone believed. However things can never be quite so easy. Thanos promised retribution if Loki failed and Thanos always keeps his promises. Sequel to "Steven Anthony Stark" but you don't have to read that to understand this. Loki!Whump and Redemption. No Slash
1. Return

**A/N Here we go, the sequel to _Steven Anthony Stark_! Yay! It's not absolutely necessary to have read that story, but I would recommend it. **

**However, if you haven't read it and don't want to, here are the basics of that story that you need to know (skip over the following paragraph if you've already read _Steven Anthony Stark_).**

**IF YOU HAVE NOT READ MY STORY _STEVEN ANTHONY STARK_ PLEASE READ THIS:**

**The main thing you need to know is that Steve is Tony's son. Due to some freak, accidental time travel he ended up back in the forties where he became Captain America. The main events of _Captain America: The First Avenger_, _Iron Man 1 and 2_, and _The Avengers_ are pretty much the same until the end of _The Avengers_ when Steve noticed that Loki's eye color was different after he got slammed into the floor by the Hulk. They figured out that Loki was being controlled by the tesseract the same way Clint was, and Loki wasn't responsible for his actions on Earth. That story ended with all the Avengers and Loki leaving Earth via the tesseract teleportation device and appearing on Asgard. **

**This story basically picks up where the last one ended. **

**Now you're all caught up! So, enjoy!**

**P.S. Thank you to everyone who continually reviewed this story's predecessor! You guys are awesome and I hope you will enjoy the sequel as much as the first one! :)**

**Return**

The chains hanging from Loki's wrists jangled as he walked beside his brother toward the palace of Asgard. The tesseract had landed the two of them and the five Avengers on the rainbow bridge, just outside the partially repaired bifrost dome.

He was finally free of the tesseract's all encompassing control and the relief he felt at having his mind and will returned to him was great. But as great as his relief was, his shame rivaled it. He had been through much during the year between when he had fallen from the bifrost and when he had appeared on Earth, but regardless of what had happened to him, he should have been strong enough to keep himself from being overtaken by the tesseract.

If he had been stronger, none of what happened on Earth would have transpired. But he had been weak, just like he had been told his whole life. He had never been as strong as Thor. He had never been as good as Thor. He was the small brother. The one who got thoroughly trounced by anyone he tried to fight. He was the weak one who chose magic and tricks rather than bravery and brute strength.

His whole life he had denied those things, mentally as well as vocally. He had striven to prove everyone wrong in any way he could, but no matter what he did, all he succeeded in doing was proving everyone right. The year after his fall had shown him beyond a doubt just how weak he truly was. It had shoved it in his face and forced him to accept the truth.

His humiliation was great and it seemed the tesseract was determined to make his shame complete as he was forced to walk, chained for all to see, all the way to the palace from the rainbow bridge. Because, of course, the tesseract couldn't just make them appear in the palace and save Loki the degrading journey.

Loki glanced over at Thor (who was reluctantly holding the chain that led from Loki's shackled wrists as they walked) and felt his tangled emotions rise up in him. The year he had been gone, his family had been what had kept him going. For all the insults and slights he had received from his brother growing up, all the teasing and even the bullying from Thor's friends, for all the time he had spent in Thor's shadow, he hated his brother... and yet, he loved his brother. He had always looked up to Thor and aspired to be like him. And it hadn't been all bad, they had had some good moments in their lives, moments when Thor was a good brother and showed he truly cared.

It was the same with his parents. Odin had always favored Thor, had always related to him better. He had always looked down on Loki for his physical deficits and even had punished him for his trickery. In Odin's eyes, Thor was always perfect and Loki was always the disappointment. And yet, there had been times when Odin would let his kingly persona drop and simply be Loki's father. They had been extremely rare, but in those moments, Loki had always felt that his father really loved him. Then Odin would go back to being a regal king and Loki would wonder if he had imagined his father's love.

Frigga was better. She, at least, had actually loved him. He was sure of that. She had been the better parent, teaching him the majority of his magic, but she hadn't been perfect. She had never tried to call Thor on his teasing and bullying. She never stood up for him in the face of Odin's wrath. She had never publicly been on his side. Only when they were alone did she show her support. But even with those deficits, he had never felt unloved by her.

Now, though, he understood why Odin had favored Thor over him and why Frigga had never stood up for him. He wasn't really their son. They couldn't possibly love him, a child not only not truly theirs, but the child of one of their oldest enemies, as much as their own blood child.

And that was the biggest and deepest hurt. They had lied to him. His whole life, they had never told him of his true parentage. It was bad enough that he was adopted, but he wasn't even from Asgard. He was a Frost Giant, one of the most despised and feared enemies of Asgard and he had been left to die. Not even his own people had wanted him and Odin had only taken him for possible political purposes.

Loki hated them. He hated the parents that had lied to him and he hated the brother that had looked down on him.

If only that was where it ended.

He also loved them. The mother who taught him his magic; the brother who had once played with him and, at times, had been there for him; and the father who, on rare occasions, had been his father, had taught him wisdom and even some magic, and who had rescued him from certain death and raised Loki as his own.

That was where it all became so complicated. He hated them, he wanted to hate them, and it was so easy to hate them, but he also loved them and loving them was so much harder, and so much more painful. He didn't know how it was possible to feel both. His emotions were all so tangled and raw thanks to the tesseract, and he didn't know how to sort it all out.

He was brought out of his thoughts as they finally reached the end of the rainbow bridge and began to see groups of people. Now would come the humiliation and scathing looks as he was returned home in chains. He fixed his eyes ahead, gritted his teeth and prepared himself for it, but to his great surprise, before they reached the populated area, Thor sent an imploring look over his shoulder at the other Avengers and the five of them moved forward, two in front, two behind, and one on Loki's right while Thor remained on his left. Together, the six of them surrounded Loki and all but blocked his chained wrists from sight.

The action relieved Loki but also irritated him as he felt gratitude toward the five Midgardians and his brother. He didn't want to feel grateful to any of them, least of all Thor, and yet he did.

It was frustrating beyond belief, as all of his emotions were since being released from the tesseract. It seemed being free of the tesseract by no means made everything fine again. On the contrary, it only made things more complicated.

Loki made it to the palace with most of what little dignity he had left, intact and was led to the throne room. The Avengers separated and resumed their places behind Thor and Loki as the doors began to open.

Loki took a deep breath and kept his eyes straight ahead as Thor glanced at him with an apologetic expression before resignedly walking forward, leading Loki into the throne room. It took all of Loki's will to keep his gaze forward and his head up as he walked into the room full of spectators.

Unfortunately, keeping his gaze forward had him looking at the throne and the parents he hadn't seen in a year. He wanted to look anywhere but at Odin who was sitting on the throne, and Frigga who was standing next to him, but Loki's pride would not let him avert his eyes once they met Odin's. If one of them was going to look away first, Loki was bound and determined that it wouldn't be him.

As he, Thor, and The Avengers made the agonizingly long walk through the spacious hall amid the judging stares of the spectators, Loki violently forced all of his mixed up and turbulent emotions deep down and locked them away. Now was the time to be stone faced with his head held high and show no emotions whatsoever. The only way he could do that was to feel no emotion whatsoever. He honestly didn't know how long he could hold himself in that place of cool and calm apathy, but he resolved to stay there for as long as possible. Apathy was simpler and easier to deal with, especially in front of so many people. The last thing Loki was going to do was let his thoughts and emotions be laid bare for all to see. Come what may, he would retain as much dignity as he could.

The group finally made it to the bottom of the steps leading up to the throne and the chain Thor was holding was taken by a guard and Thor was forced to reluctantly step back and to the side with the other Avengers. Once they were out of the way, a second guard came forward and struck Loki on the back of his knees, forcing him to his knees before Odin.

Loki had been expecting it, but he hadn't expected to see Thor, out of the corner of his eye, step forward as if to challenge the action. Once again he forced himself to ignore it, focusing on why he hated Thor, which actually seemed to help. Perhaps if he did the same with his so called parents, he could get through this without showing any weakness.

"Loki Odinson, you are here to face the consequences of your crimes," Odin began, but before he could continue, Thor finally could contain himself no longer and stepped forward.

"Father, Loki is innocent of what happened on Midgard. He was being controlled by the tesseract," Thor said, causing many murmurs to pass through the room at the unexpected declaration.

"Is this true?" Frigga asked her youngest son, hope shining in her eyes.

The look on her face and hearing her voice again after so long nearly undid Loki, but he resolutely forced his mind away from his love for her, and his grudging gratitude toward his brother for standing up for him, and one by one, thought of every reason he had for hating the three people he called family. It wasn't too hard with Thor and it was downright easy with Odin but it was much harder with Frigga. Still, he managed to find a few small things to be hurt and angry over and pushed all other memories of her away as he remained silent and refused to meet her gaze. Odin quickly lost his patience with Loki's refusal to answer and rose to his feet.

"Speak!" he barked, thumping Gungnir loudly against the floor, causing Loki to flinch ever so slightly.

Yes, it was downright easy with Odin.

"It's true, Your Majesty," Steve said, stepping forward. "We all saw the evidence of it ourselves."

"Even if that is true, that only absolves his actions on your planet. That does not alleviate him of his responsibility for his crimes here," Odin said. "What say you of this?" he asked Loki.

"Father-" Thor began.

"Silence! I would hear your brother speak for himself," Odin said to Thor before turning to Loki. "What do you have to say in your defense?"

The question turned his mind back to his tesseract induced actions and his anger quickly turned back into shame. What did he have to say? What _could_ he say? After what he had done, did he even have the right to defend himself? It was all his fault. He should have been stronger. He should have fought harder. But he had been weak. Even if he did deserve to defend himself, to explain, there wasn't much he could say. The "it wasn't my fault. I was mind-controlled" line sounded false even to him. So, instead, he said nothing, too ashamed to even look the man he once called Father, in the eye. Better to just accept his punishment and start paying for his weakness.

"Very well. If you insist on remaining silent, then your memories will speak for you," Odin said, coming to stand in front of Loki, towering over the kneeling trickster and reaching a hand toward him.

Loki looked up in shock, knowing what was coming.

"Wait! No," he whispered in horror, panic closing his throat, but his whisper didn't stop the hand from gently cupping his cheek as the entire throne room disappeared.

**)()()(**

Loki was no longer kneeling on the floor. He was standing amid an inky blackness where the throne room had been moments before. He didn't have to look around to know where he was.

No. No. No. No. No.

The word repeated over and over in Loki's mind. He couldn't be there, anywhere but there. A voice spoke up, reminding Loki that he wasn't the only one present.

"Where are we?" Thor asked as he, his parents, the Avengers, and the Asgardian spectators all looked around at the darkness.

"We are in Loki's memories," Odin answered.

Loki's breathing started to come quicker. He couldn't do this. He couldn't face his memories in just his own mind, let alone face them tangibly playing out before him while his family, the Avengers, and a room full of people all watched along.

Not only that, but this was done with magic, and the magic was designed to enhance his memory. The gaps he was missing would be filled in, the recollections that were vague and cloudy due to pain and fatigue would be sharpened and brought into focus. If he couldn't bare to indulge his memories while they were tainted by time and imperfection how was he to endure the remastered version.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, although the sights, feelings, and emotions of the memories would be muted and distant, they were still there and they would remain, for all present to see and sense them. Even the thoughts he had had in his memories would be fair game in this journey through his very real nightmares.

"Please," he said, turning to Odin as fear overrode his pride and anger. "Please, stop this."

"I am sorry, My Son. You know as well as I do, this is a spell that, once started, must complete on its own," Odin replied sadly, at the stricken look on his youngest son's face.

"You can stop it," Loki argued.

"Not without risking damage to your mind," Odin replied.

"That is a risk I am willing to take," Loki said.

"I, however, am not," Odin said. "I will not risk hurting you, My Son."

He was about to be laid bare to all and he hated Odin for that. But there was still that incessant part of him that whispered that Odin couldn't possibly know the pain Loki's memories held for him. Loki angrily told that part of himself to shut up.

"Loki, what is it that you are so worried we will see?" Thor asked.

Loki swallowed thickly before looking back at the darkness.

"It's not what _you _will see, that I'm worried about," he whispered.

For the moment, it was as if the memory was paused, waiting for someone to start it, and it was coming. Loki could feel it. Any second it would begin.

Sure enough, the room suddenly became the white-dotted black of space and almost seemed to move around them as the view slid through space and zeroed in on a small asteroid.

Loki sucked in a sharp breath as the being who haunted his thoughts and dreams came into view.

"Thanos," he whispered.

The titan stood on the asteroid, holding a certain blue jewel that glowed an ethereal blue, with The Other standing just behind him.

This was something Loki didn't remember.

With a jolt, he realized it must have been something transmitted to his subconscious by the tesseract. The way the tesseract worked, there could be any number of horrible things in Loki's subconscious that he had no knowledge or memory of, and now Odin's magic was pulling anything it thought relevant from Loki's mind. Loki couldn't even handle his conscious memories, and it was very possible the things the tesseract had left dormant in his subconscious were capable of driving a person insane. Loki shuddered at the thought. He could only imagine what was lurking in the depths of his mind, and if consciously subjected to it, he wasn't entirely sure he could survive it.

"Find me who I need," Thanos whispered to the jewel.

The gem began to glow and spin in Thanos' hand, before lifting up off his hand and floating forward to hover in the air. Thanos watched as it spun faster and faster until, all at once, it froze in midair.

"It has found our potential ally," Thanos announced.

"But you said he would likely be unwilling. Surely the jewel alone cannot force his help from this distance," The Other said.

"No, but it can play on his emotions. His pain, his anger, his fear. It can twist them, amplify them. It can whisper in the back of his mind and give him the... _guidance_ he needs. All he needs is a push."

He stepped forward and whispered to the jewel once again.

"Give him his push."

The gem started spinning again. After a moment, a high-pitched whine sounded from the jewel before a wave of blue energy surged outward from it and shot off into space, disappearing in the distance.

The scene in the throne room suddenly changed to one Loki found familiar: his chambers. The spectators watched as Loki, not the real one watching along with everyone else, but a well-groomed, well-dressed, and much more innocent looking Loki entered the chambers. He seemed so much different than the Loki The Avengers knew. This Loki, although only a year younger than the real Loki, looked so much younger somehow, much less burdened and haunted, with eyes that had not yet seen so much pain and atrocity.

The younger Loki was dressed in all his finery and, as he began going about what looked to be typical actions; removing his helmet and placing it on a table before removing his cape and draping it on his spacious bed; the real Loki finally remembered when the memory had taken place, and it finally began to make since to the trickster as to why they were being shown the, so far, innocuous scene.

"When was this?" Thor asked.

"A few days before your coronation, just after the rehearsal," Loki answered, loud enough for all to hear.

Thor remembered that time well. It was just before everything had changed. Just before he had lost his little brother.

"Why are we being shown this?" Tony asked, not seeing the relevance.

Loki didn't have to answer as, in the memory, a glint could be seen out of one of the windows. As it drew closer, it caught the attention of everyone watching, but went unseen by the memory Loki, who was in the process of adjusting one of the bracers on his arms.

After a second, the glint had grown close enough to be recognizable as the blue wave that had emitted from the jewel in the previous scene. The watchers had but moments to register the fact before the wave passed right through the walls and into the chambers, washing over the younger Loki.

The wave had effected nothing else, passing through so unnoticed by the surroundings as to almost be able to be called harmless. However, it did effect one thing; Loki. The Loki in the scene obviously felt the wave as it almost seemed to slam into him. He stumbled back several steps and swayed dangerously. He reached out and grabbed a nearby table to try to steady himself, but his arm gave out and he collapsed to the ground, his eyes unfocused before they fluttered closed, leaving him lying on the floor unconscious.

It was just minutes later that bleary green eyes opened and he blinked sluggishly. After a moment, he slowly sat up, swaying dizzily before regaining his balance. He looked dazed and a bit confused as he realized he had awakened on the floor.

It took a minute for Loki's mind to clear enough for him to remember feeling like he had been struck and then passing out. He quickly looked around for any sign of an assailant but relaxed upon finding nothing amiss. Then he slowly climbed to his feet. The fact that he had seemingly passed out for no apparent reason concerned him and he resolved to go to the healers and have them check him over in case there was something wrong with him.

_That's exactly what they'll think if you go to them,_ a voice whispered at the back of his mind, causing Loki to pause.

Where had that thought come from?

_Your whole life, everyone has looked down on you. Insulted you, their words saying you're weak, their eyes saying something is wrong with you. Go to the healers and they'll all just have more reason to call you weak. _

That brought Loki up short. If he went to the healers and there was nothing wrong, as he felt sure there wasn't, he would look like some weak kneed woman who randomly fell down in a dead faint.

Just like that, Loki changed his mind and resolved to not tell anyone about what had happened, all the while believing the idea to be his own. He never noticed the reflection of his green eyes in the mirror as they glinted blue for a brief moment.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Well? What do you guys think so far? Any good? Let me know! :)**

**BTW, just to let you guys know, the updating schedule for this story will be one chapter every Friday afternoon. So, until next Friday! :)**

**P.S. On a completely 100% unrelated subject, has anyone seen ABC's new show _Forever_? If you haven't, you should check it out. Only two episodes in, and I'm already hooked. **


	2. A Different Side to the Story

**A/N ****Just a note for anyone who doesn't recognize it, the dialogue in the first part of this chapter is taken from a deleted scene from _Thor_. If you haven't seen the deleted scene and want to, you should be able to find it on YouTube. **

**On a side note, if you haven't seen ABC's new show _Forever_, please give it a try. It is hands down my favorite TV show now and it's already in danger of being cancelled due to a drop in ratings. It has amazing writing and excellent acting with a great balance of drama and comedy, and a really unique premise. I am completely obsessed with it now. If you haven't seen it, give it a chance. The first episodes are available on Hulu and on ACB's website and it regularly airs on ABC on Tuesdays at 10/9c. **

**Thanks to my reviewers! **

_**Ophelia Lokisdottir**_

_**dany1114**_

_**BarbyBBones**_

_**Agent Ruby Red**_

_**aliceindeepdarkwonderland**_

_**thewriterstory**_

_**Bing Bing 9312**_

**A Different Side to the Story**

After the scene of Loki collapsing in his chambers, the memories changed to Loki and Thor in all their finery standing together in a corridor lined with tapestries.

"Nervous, Brother?" Loki asked.

"Have you ever known me to be nervous?" Thor asked with a laugh.

"There was the time in Nornheim."

"That was not nerves, Brother. That was the rage of battle," Thor said.

"Ah, I see," Loki said patronizingly.

"How else could I have fought my way through a hundred warriors and pulled us out alive?" Thor asked.

"As I recall, I was the one who veiled us in smoke to ease our escape," Loki said.

"Yes," Thor said with a laugh. "Some do battle others just do tricks."

The comment stung, as those kind always did, but Loki had long since learned how to keep his face from showing any reaction. However, when even the servant laughed at him, Loki felt anger rise up in him. He wasn't sure why. After all, he had had many people laugh and slight him in his life, he should have been used to it by now, but for some reason when it came to Thor, each comment hurt just as much as if it were the first.

_Put the impudent slave in his place._

Loki's anger seemed to grow hotter with every word The Voice in the back of his mind spoke until Loki was casting an illusion of serpents slithering out of the goblet on the tray the servant was carrying.

As the man cried out in surprise and dropped the tray, Loki laughed.

"Now that was just a waste of good wine," Thor said.

_Just a bit of fun,_ The Voice whispered.

"Oh, just a bit of fun," Loki said, making the serpents disappear, still chuckling as the man gathered up the tray and quickly left the room.

"Ooh, nice feathers," Loki teased as a guard stepped forward and handed Thor his helmet before retreating again.

"You really want to start this, Cow?" Thor shot back.

"I was being sincere," Loki said.

"You are incapable of sincerity," Thor said.

The comment was made in jest as they always were but it still caused another stinging twinge of hurt that never showed on Loki's face.

"Am I?" Loki asked, keeping his tone good-natured.

"Yes," Thor said.

"I have looked forward to this day as long as you have," Loki said honestly. "You're my brother and my friend. Sometimes I'm envious," he admitted. "But never doubt that I love you."

"Thank you," Thor said, gripping the side of Loki's neck.

"Now give us a kiss," Loki teased, eliciting a laugh from Thor.

"Really, how do I look?" Thor asked.

"Like a king," Loki said even as he thought, 'Even though you're not ready.'

_He is a fool!_ The Voice in the back of Loki's mind whispered. _He doesn't deserve to be king! He's an immature fool and he will bring the kingdom to ruin, unless..._

'Unless?' Loki thought.

_Unless something prevents the coronation. Just delay it a bit._

'Like what?'

Loki chose not to think about the fact that he was having an internal conversation with himself. It didn't exactly sound sane.

_Just open a doorway. That's all you have to do. The rest will take care of itself._

'I don't know...' Loki thought, sounding unsure.

_Do you want him becoming king!_ The Voice snapped.

'No. He's not ready,' Loki decided, and without further thought, he used his magic to open a doorway. He wasn't sure how he knew where to open the doorway. He just did. And as soon as he started to think about it too hard, his focus wavered and he couldn't concentrate on the thought. So he ended up giving up on trying to think about it.

By the time the Frost Giants appeared in the weapons vault, interrupting Thor's coronation, Loki had almost completely forgotten he had even opened the doorway.

**)()()(**

"You didn't think I was ready?" Thor asked Loki, looking away from the memory.

"No, I didn't," Loki answered honestly.

Thor couldn't really hold that against him as, looking back, Thor himself knew he really hadn't been ready. But he had changed. He was better.

"What about now?" Thor asked.

Loki didn't answer for a long moment as he studied Thor.

"I don't know," he said at last.

**)()()(**

The next scene shift put Loki in the dinning hall as Thor overturned a large table of food before sitting on the steps.

"It is unwise to be in my company right now, Brother," Thor said as Loki sat down beside him.

_When is it ever?_ The Voice whispered.

"This was to be my day of triumph," Thor continued.

_Whine. Whine. Whine._

"It'll come," Loki said. "In time."

_Get him in more trouble already. You know you want to. Bring The Golden Prince down a few pegs,_ The Voice whispered into Loki's mind. _Just some harmless fun._

"If it's any consolation, I think you're right," Loki found himself saying. "About the Frost Giants, about Laufey, about everything. If they found a way to penetrate Asgard's defenses once, who's to say they won't try again. Next time with an army."

"Exactly!"Thor agreed.

_Give him the last push,_ The Voice ordered.

"There's nothing you can do without defying Father," Loki said. "No. No, no, no. I know that look," he protested, making sure Thor believed it was his idea.

"It's the only way to ensure the safety of our borders," Thor said.

"Thor, it's madness," Loki said, knowing with those words he would bring Thor's idiot friends into the discussion.

"We're going to Jotunheim," Thor announced, and just like that, Thor was doing exactly what Loki had wanted him to do all along.

Unfortunately, a few seconds later, Loki suddenly couldn't remember what it was that he had wanted Thor to do.

**)()()(**

"Brother, what is that voice that keeps hissing in your mind?" Thor asked. "I can tell those thoughts are not your own."

Loki clenched his jaw and remained silent, staring at the memories and refusing to meet Thor's eyes. But whether it was an act of defiance or of shame, Thor couldn't tell.

"I don't know about anyone else, but it sounds like he was being manipulated by an outside force," Tony said.

"Yeah, I know brainwashing when I hear it," Steve added.

Loki, for his part, refused to confirm or deny anything and kept his eyes glued to the memories in front of him to be sure not to meet anyone's gaze.

**)()()(**

Next, everyone in the throne room watched the catastrophe that was the visit to Jotunheim, followed by Loki, Thor, the Warriors Three, and Sif's return to Asgard and Odin laying into Thor.

"I was a fool to think you were ready," Odin said to Thor.

_You'd better protest or they might realize you wanted this, _The Voice whispered to Loki.

Had he wanted this?

Just as soon as the question came up in his mind, it disappeared again and Loki found himself stepping forward.

"Father-"

Odin growled at Loki and the trickster quickly stepped back.

_Now look dismayed and upset. You don't want them seeing you happy,_ The Voice ordered as Thor was banished through the bifrost.

Was he happy? He must have been. The Voice told him so. He just couldn't seem to remember if he was or not.

**)()()(**

The next memory was of Loki standing in a large golden room as the Warriors Three and Lady Sif discussed Thor's banishment.

As Hogun walked over and started spreading some salve on Volstagg's frostbite, Loki looked down at his own arm, where the Frost Giant had grabbed him, but unlike Volstagg, Loki hadn't been harmed in the slightest.

"How did the guard even know?" Volstagg asked, referring to the guard who had alerted Odin of their trip to Jotunheim.

"I told him," Loki said.

"What?" Fandral asked.

"I told him to go to Odin after we'd left," Loki said.

_He should be flogged for taking so long. You should never have reached Jotunheim._

"He should be flogged for taking so long. We should never have reached Jotunheim," Loki said.

"You told the guard?" Volstagg exclaimed.

Loki felt a small stab of guilt for his actions which had ended with Thor getting banished.

_You saved their lives. You had no idea Thor would be banished._

"I saved our lives," Loki said. "And Thor's. I had no idea Father would banish him for what he did."

"Loki," Sif said, standing up. "You must go to the Allfather and convince him to change his mind."

_Over your dead body!_

"And if I do, then what?" Loki asked. "I love Thor more dearly than any of you but you know what he is."

_Arrogant. Reckless. Dangerous._

"He's arrogant, he's reckless, he's dangerous. You saw how he was today. Is that what Asgard needs from its king?"

Then Loki walked out of the room and made his way to the weapons vault. He hesitated before entering. He shouldn't go in there. He should just go back to his chambers... But he _had _to know.

He entered the vault and slowly approached the Jotun Casket of Winters. He stood before it and stared at it for a long moment before slowly reaching out with shaking hands and picking it up. As soon as he did, his fingertips started turning blue.

"Stop!" Loki heard Odin yell behind him.

"Am I cursed?" Loki asked over his shoulder.

"No," Odin replied.

"What am I?" Loki asked as he set the Casket back down.

"You're my son," Odin replied.

Loki slowly turned to face Odin, his appearance eliciting startled gasps from the Asgardians watching the memory.

Every inch of Loki's skin was Jotun blue and his eyes were blood red.

"What more than that?" Loki asked as the blue receded until he was pale and green eyed once more. "The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day was it?"

"No," Odin said softly. "In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the temple and I found a baby. Small for a Giant's offspring, abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son."

The revelation caused several murmurs to run through the spectators.

"Laufey's son," Loki said in disbelief.

"Yes," Odin confirmed.

_It makes so much sense now. Now you know why they've never loved you!_

"Why?" Loki asked Odin. "You were knee deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?"

"You were an innocent child," Odin said.

"No, you took me for a purpose," Loki said. "What was it?"

_You know why,_ The Voice whispered.

"Tell me!" Loki screamed when Odin didn't answer.

"I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about alliance, bring about peace, through you," Odin admitted.

_You were a political move. Nothing more._

"Wha..." Loki whispered, a tear rolling down his face.

"But those plans no longer matter," Odin said.

_You are nothing more than another stolen relic._

"So, I am no more than another stolen relic," Loki said, his voice breaking, "locked up here until you might have use of me."

"Why do you twist my words?" Odin asked.

_Why didn't he tell you before?_

"You could have told me what I was from the beginning. Why didn't you?"

"You're my son," Odin said.

_No, you're not._

"I wanted only to protect you from the truth," Odin continued.

"What? Because I'm the monster parents tell their children about at night?" Loki asked.

_Yes._

"You know it all makes sense now," Loki said as Odin wavered and collapsed on the stairs. "Why you always favored Thor all these years, because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!"

Odin slipped into unconsciousness and Loki stared at him for a long moment before reaching out to touch the hand of the man who he still loved as his father despite everything he now knew.

"Guards!" Loki yelled. "Guards! Please help!"

As the guards came running into the room to see to the king, the scene changed again, back to the throne room where Loki was sitting on the throne.

Lady Sif and the Warriors Three walked into the room and stopped upon seeing Loki instead of Odin.

"My friends," Loki said.

_Yeah, right,_ The Voice shot back.

"Where's Odin?" Fandral asked.

"Father has fallen into the Odin sleep," Loki said. "Mother fears he may never awaken again."

_Then good riddance._

"We would speak with her," Sif said.

_Oh, I'm sure they would._

"She has refused to leave my father's bedside," Loki said. "You can bring your urgent matter to me..."

_Don't smile,_ The Voice ordered as Loki's lips twitched toward a smirk.

Loki kept his expression serious and stood, taping Gungnir forbiddingly.

"...Your King."

The Warriors Three and Lady Sif reluctantly placed their fists over their hearts and knelt down before him.

_How good does it feel to finally see them kneel before you?_

It felt good. Really good.

"My King," Sif said, a hint of patronization in her tone. "We would ask that you end Thor's banishment."

_Of course they would,_ The Voice said, earning a snort from Loki in response.

"My first act as king cannot be to undo the Allfather's last," Loki said. "We're on the brink of war with Jotunheim."

_We are?_ The Voice asked, sounding amused.

"Our people need a sense of continuity," Loki continued. "In order to feel safe in these difficult times."

_You're getting pretty good at this, _The Voice praised.

"All of us must stand together for the good of Asgard," Loki finished.

The Warriors Three quickly grabbed Sif as she surged to her feet. They held on to her so she couldn't do something she would regret.

_Don't smile,_ The Voice ordered again.

"Yes, of course," Fandral said.

"Good, then you will wait for my word," Loki said.

"If I may," Volstagg said, "beg the indulgence of Your Majesty, to perhaps reconsider-"

"We're done," Loki snapped and the scene shifted again.

**)()()(**

"I never get used to seeing him like this," Loki said to Frigga as they sat by Odin's bedside.

"He's put it off for so long now," Frigga said.

_How long will it last._

"How long will it last?" Loki asked.

"I don't know," Frigga whispered. "This time it's different. We were unprepared."

"So why did he lie?" Loki asked, unable to hold onto the question any longer.

"He kept the truth from you so you would never feel different," Frigga said.

_Sure he did, _The Voice said sarcastically.

"You are our son, Loki," she said.

_No, you're not. _

"And we your family."

_No, they're not._

"We mustn't lose hope that your father will return to us," Frigga continued.

_Oh, mustn't we._

"And your brother."

_What?_

"What hope is there for Thor?" Loki asked.

"There's always a purpose to everything your father does," Frigga replied knowingly.

_Oh, don't you know it. So Thor could return? We'll just have to do something about that._

* * *

><p><strong>AN Let me know what you think. Good? Bad? Confusing? Let me know. **

**And don't forget to check out ABC's _Forever_! :)**


	3. More Pieces of the Puzzle

**A/N Okay, so this one just focuses on Loki's memories. We'll get back to some of the team in the present in the next chapter.**

**Thanks to my reviewers! I'm glad to know some of you guys are really enjoying this story! :)**

_**Ophelia Lokisdottir**_

_**Agent Ruby Red**_

_**melissa. valdovinos. 12**_

_**Guest**_

_**aliceindeepdarkwonderland**_

_**sailorraven34**_

_**Wicked R**_

**More Pieces of the Puzzle**

Thor was sitting inside the SHIELD compound when Loki appeared, dressed in Earth clothes and apparently cloaked from all eyes, as no one else besides Thor saw him.

"Loki, what are you doing here?" Thor asked.

_Making sure you never come home, Idiot!_

"I had to see you," Loki said.

"What's happened?" Thor asked. "Tell me. Is it Jotunheim? Let me explain to Father."

"Father is dead," Loki said.

_Remember to look sad,_ The Voice reminded.

"What?" Thor asked.

"Your banishment, the threat of a new war, it was too much for him to bear," Loki said, careful to keep his face a bit sad as The Voice had ordered. "You mustn't blame yourself."

_But go ahead if you wish._

"I know that you loved him," Loki continued. "I tried to tell him so but he wouldn't listen."

_Oh, that's cold. Well done,_ The Voice praised.

"It was so cruel to put the hammer within your reach, knowing you could never lift it," Loki subtly taunted but kept his expression sympathetic. "The burden of the throne has fallen to me now," Loki said and it was all he could do to keep a straight face."

"Can I come home?" Thor asked.

_Don't smile,_ The Voice ordered yet again.

It kept doing that and Loki supposed it was a good thing, since he never knew he wanted to smile or ever felt himself start to smile until after The Voice said that.

"The truce with Jotunheim is contingent upon your exile," Loki said.

"Yes, but couldn't we find a way?" Thor asked.

_Oh, just crush him and be done with it already,_ The Voice said, sounding bored.

"Mother has forbidden your return," Loki said gravely. "This is goodbye, Brother," he said and felt a twinge of sorrow at the words and the pain on Thor's face, but just as soon as it came, it was once more gone again and Loki forgot that he had felt it. "I'm so sorry."

_No, you're not._

He thought perhaps he should have been, though, but as had become typical as of late, Loki couldn't seem to focus on that thought.

"No, I am sorry," Thor said and Loki's heart twisted painfully.

_Oh, he's just sorry he won't get to sit on the throne as King._

'Oh, of course. That must be it,' Loki thought.

"Thank you for coming here," Thor said.

_It was our pleasure._

"Farewell," Loki said, fading away even before Thor said "goodbye."

Loki appeared in the section of the compound where Mjolnir was.

_Try to pick it up. If you can, it will come in handy._

Loki moved over and gripped the handle. He pulled as hard as he could but it wouldn't budge.

_Unworthy,_ The Voice whispered.

And for once, Loki actually started to believe it. After all, if The Voice told him so, then it must be true.

**)()()(**

Loki faded away from Earth and made his way to Jotunheim, just as The Voice ordered.

"Kill him," Laufey said.

"After all I've done for you," Loki said with a smirk.

"So you're the one who showed us the way into Asgard," Laufey said.

_That was just for fun._

"That was just a bit of fun really," Loki said. "To ruin my brother's big day," he said contemptuously.

_And to protect Asgard from the idiot._

"And to protect the realm from his idiotic rule for a while longer," Loki finished.

"I will hear you," Laufey said.

_Oh, yes you will._

"I will conceal you and a handful of your soldiers, lead you into Odin's chambers, and you can slay him where he lies," Loki offered.

"Why not kill him yourself?" Laufey asked.

'Because he's my father and I love him,' Loki thought but it was quickly swept away like most of his thoughts.

_Laugh,_ The Voice ordered.

Loki chuckled before answering Laufey's question.

"I suspect that the Asgardians would not take kindly to a king who had murdered his predecessor," Loki said. "Once Odin is dead, I'll return the Casket to you and you can return Jotunheim to all its, uh... glory."

"I accept," Laufey said.

_Of course you do, you dimwitted fool._

**)()()(**

Loki reappeared in the bifrost chamber to see Heimdall studying him.

"What troubles you gatekeeper?" Loki asked.

"I turned my gaze upon you in Jotunheim but could neither see you nor hear you," Heimdall said. "You were shrouded from me, like the Frost Giants that entered this realm."

_That's because he is old and weak._

"Perhaps your senses have weakened after your many years of service," Loki said.

"Or perhaps someone has found a way to hide that which he does not wish for me to see," the gatekeeper replied.

"You have grate power Heimdall."

_That's debatable._

"Did Odin ever fear you?" Loki asked.

"No."

"And why is that?" Loki asked.

"Because he is my king," Heimdall answered.

_Was._

"And I'm sworn to obey him," the gatekeeper finished.

"He was your king," Loki said. "And you're sworn to obey me now. Yes?"

"Yes," Heimdall reluctantly admitted.

"Then you'll open the bifrost to no one," Loki ordered as he walked out of the room. "Till I have repaired the damage my brother has done."

**)()()(**

Loki stood on one of the palace balconies and watched as the bifrost was activated.

_They are going to warn Thor. Everything you have achieved will be undone!_

'No. I can stop them. I have just the thing,' Loki thought.

He made his way down to the weapons vault and stood in front of the Destroyer's door. Then he tapped Gungnir on the floor, opening the door and calling the Destroyer forth.

_Make sure he never comes back._

"Be sure my brother does not return," he ordered.

_Destroy it all._

"Destroy everything."

**)()()(**

"Tell me Loki. How did you get the Jotuns into Asgard?" Heimdall asked.

"You think the bifrost is the only way in and out of this realm? There are secret paths between the worlds to which even you with all your gifts are blind," Loki replied scathingly. "But I have need of them no longer, now that I am king. And I say, for your act of treason, you are relieved of your duties as gatekeeper and no longer citizen of Asgard."

"Then I need no longer obey you," Heimdall said before raising his sword to attack.

It was a simple matter for Loki to use the Casket of Ancient Winters to freeze the gatekeeper, as The Voice instructed him to do. And this time, Loki didn't even blink as his skin once more turned blue for a few moments. He idly wondered if that was a good thing or not. Wasn't he supposed to be bothered by his Jotun appearance? But the thought was fleeting and quickly dissolved as he went about his task of sending the destroyer to Earth.

Once finished, Loki returned to his throne to watch the destroyer's encounter with his good-for-nothing brother and his worthless friends. However, Loki was somewhat surprised when Thor stopped fighting and approached the destroyer.

"Brother, whatever I have done to wrong you, whatever I have done to lead you to do this, I am truly sorry," Thor said. "But these people are innocent. Taking their lives, will gain you nothing."

Loki was taken aback by the words. Thor never apologized. And he never stopped fighting, always so sure that brute strength was the best and only way to prevail. This was different. This was completely out of character for Thor.

Could it be that Loki's brother had finally changed? That he had finally matured and learned from his mistakes?

_Lies. All lies. He's trying to play you. Weasel his way out of what he knows he deserves. As soon as this is over he will return to being as he was before. _

Then Thor did something Loki never thought he would see or hear his older brother do. He made a selfless offer.

"So take mine, and end this."

Loki sat on the throne, inwardly stunned. If it was all lies, why would Thor offer his life to end the fight. Thor was mortal now. Loki could easily kill him, and he offered his life up freely?

He let the destroyer power down as he stood from his throne and turned the destroyer away from Thor.

_He's bluffing. He knows you won't call him on it. He expects you to play into it. Feel sorry for him and let him go. You are the master manipulator. Don't let yourself be played. Now hit him._

'No!'

That was crossing a line that Loki refused to cross. For everything Thor had said and done to him growing up, Loki still loved him and he wasn't going to kill him. Destroying a small town, wreaking havoc, and playing tricks were one thing but this... this was a step too far.

_Do it! Now!_ The Voice practically screamed.

Loki winced but still refused as he determinedly turned back toward the throne.

_As long as he lives, your father will never love you._

Loki froze.

_If he's gone, you will be The Golden Prince. You will rule._

'I don't want to rule. I never have.'

_Yes, you do_, The Voice whispered.

Did he? He couldn't remember wanting to rule but apparently he did.

_All you have to do is turn around. Just turn around._

Turn around. It seemed so simple. Just turn around and his father would love him.

Suddenly, Loki found himself turning back, slinging out one arm as he did so. The destroyer copied his movement and backhanded Thor, sending him flying.

'No!' Loki's mind screamed. 'What have I done?'

_What was needed._

'That's not what I wanted!' Loki mentally screamed.

_Yes, it was. You wanted to rule and you wanted him gone. He never loved you. He only looked down on you._

That was true. Thor had always seen him as inferior and had always made fun of him. It made sense that he wanted him dead. He couldn't quite figure out how it made sense but he was sure it did. After all, The Voice told him so.

But then Loki was spinning back around in surprise as Thor's hammer flew to his hand and lightning crashed all around.

**)()()(**

That insufferable oaf had not only survived, he had gotten his powers back and destroyed the destroyer. Fortunately for Loki, he couldn't get back to Asgard now that Heimdall was no longer there to open the bifrost for him. Now, Loki was the only one who could open the gate, which he did, but not for Thor.

"Welcome to Agard," Loki said as Laufey and a few other Jotuns appeared in the gate room.

Loki led the Jotun king out of the gate room, past the still frozen Heimdall, and toward the palace. Soon his plans would be completed and he would finally have his father's love and respect. He would deal with the matter of his brother later.

Loki waited as Laufey entered Odin's chambers and knocked Frigga aside. He winced in regret at that, but he knew she wasn't harmed and all would turn out all right. He let Laufey believe he was really about to have his revenge, even waiting until the Jotun raised his ice dagger over Odin, about to plunge it into the Allfather's chest. Then Loki stepped into the room and blasted the blue skinned monster with Gungnir, sending him flying across the room to land near the wall.

"And your death came by the son of Odin," Loki said.

_The son of Laufey actually. _The Voice reminded him.

Loki let Laufey get a good long look at him before leveling Gungnir once more and blasting the Jotun into dust.

"Loki," Frigga said, climbing to her feet. "You saved him." She ran forward and embraced him.

"I swear to you, Mother, that they will pay for what they've done today," Loki said.

"Loki!"

Loki jerked around at the sound of Thor's angry voice. How had he managed to return?

_Heimdall, that traitor. You should have killed him when you had the chance. This will ruin everything._

'I can defeat Thor,' Loki thought arrogantly.

_No, you can't,_ The Voice whispered.

"Thor. I knew you would return to us," Frigga breathed, running to embrace her eldest son.

_Her only son._

Loki began to back away, keeping his distance from Thor as he stepped farther into the room.

"Why don't you tell her how you sent the destroyer to kill our friends, to kill me," Thor said.

"What?" Frigga asked, disbelieving.

"Oh, it must have been enforcing Father's last command," Loki said.

"You're a talented liar, Brother, always have been."

"It's good to have you back," Loki said, sarcasm lacing his voice. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to destroy Jotunheim."

With that, he sent a blast of energy at Thor, hitting him square in the chest and sending him through the wall and falling from the tall tower.

Loki quickly exited the palace and mounted his horse, riding swiftly toward the bifrost. Once inside, he slid Gungnir into the slot and activated the bifrost, sending the energy blasting into the surface of Jotunheim. Then he opened the casket and tendrils of ice snaked out over the staff, splitting off until it covered the flashing arcs of energy branching out inside the bifrost chamber, freezing the staff in place and making it impossible to shut off.

_Perfect. _The Voice praised. _Now no one can stop it. Your revenge will be complete._

Revenge? He wanted revenge? Why?

Before he could try to come up with the answer, Thor arrived.

"You can't stop it," Loki said. "The bifrost will build until it rips Jotunheim apart."

Thor took several steps forward and raised his hammer to smash the ice but Loki fired another blast of energy from Gungnir and sent Thor flying back once more.

"Why have you done this?" Thor asked.

Yes, why had he?

_To prove to your father that you are the worthy son,_ The Voice helpfully reminded him.

"To prove to Father that I am the worthy son," Loki said. "When he wakes, I will have saved his life. I will have destroyed that race of monsters. And I will be true heir to the throne."

"You can't kill an entire race," Thor said.

_Why not?_

"Why not?" Loki asked with a chuckle. "And what is this new-found love for the Frost Giants? You, who'd have killed them all with your bare hands."

"I've changed," Thor said.

"So have I," Loki said, and it was the truth, he just couldn't quite figure out if it was for the better or not, but The Voice kept telling him it was. "Now fight me." He swung Gungnir, hitting Thor in the face and sending him sliding across the floor. "I never wanted the throne!" Loki screamed and truer words he had never spoken, but that didn't seem to matter now. "I only ever wanted to be your equal."

"I will not fight you, Brother!" Thor yelled.

_He's not your brother._

"I'm not your brother. I never was," Loki said, his eyes growing bright with unshed tears.

"Loki, this is madness."

"Is it madness? Is it? Is it!" Loki asked, a tear rolling down his cheek. Part of him (the part made up of The Voice) said no, but the other part of him was actually afraid he really was slipping into insanity.

_He's gone soft!_

"What happened to you on Earth that turned you so soft?" Loki asked. "Don't tell me it was that woman. Oh, it was. Well maybe when we're finished here, I'll pay her a visit myself!"

That got Thor moving as the two brothers launched themselves at each other. They fought, staff against hammer, punching, hitting, and kicking for several minutes before Thor smashed into Loki and sent them both flying through the wall of the bifrost and onto the rainbow bridge where Loki rolled across the bridge and fell over the side, clinging to the edge and calling out for Thor.

Thor stood up and walked to the edge, towering over Loki.

"Brother, please," Loki said.

Thor hesitated for just a moment before reaching down to grab Loki, but as soon as his hand touched his brother's, Loki disappeared in a shimmer of green light. It took Thor only a split second to realize it had been an illusion, but that second was all Loki needed as he stabbed the end of Gungnir into Thor's stomach, sending Thor to his back on the bridge.

As Thor looked up at him, Loki duplicated himself until Thor was surrounded by smiling, laughing Loki's.

"Enough!" Thor yelled, sending out a bolt of lightning, spearing through the illusions, dissolving them, and sending the real Loki flying backward several feet.

Thor climbed to his feet and walked over to the prone Loki. He looked down on his brother for a moment before bending down and placing Mjolnir on Loki's chest, effectively pinning the younger man to the ground.

Loki felt like a bilgsnipe was sitting on his chest, and the comparison wasn't all that far off. He reached up and tried to lift the hammer, but just as on Earth, Loki was unable to even shift it an inch, letting out a frustrated yell as he strained against the unmovable weight holding him down.

"Look at you! The Mighty Thor!" Loki taunted. "With all your strength. And what good does it do you now, huh?" He let out a grunt and let his head fall back as the hammer pressed mercilessly into his chest. "Did you hear me, Brother?" he spat. "There's nothing you can do!"

Suddenly the weight on Loki's chest disappeared as Thor called the hammer to him and proceeded to bring it down in a mighty swing, slamming it into the bridge at his feet. Over and over he smashed the hammer into the bridge, cracking and damaging it.

_Stop him!_

"What are you doing?" Loki screamed as he sat up. "If you destroy the bridge you'll never see her again!"

Thor ignored him as he continued to slam Mjolnir into the buckling bridge. Loki quickly got to his feet, picked Gungnir up, and ran at Thor. Just as Loki leaped into the air to attack him, Thor sent one last mighty swing at the bridge, putting all of his strength behind it. The bridge shattered in a massive explosion that engulfed bother brothers and sent them flying up into the air. The bifrost collapsed and fell off over the edge and into open space.

Thor and Loki fell through the air falling past the end of the now broken bridge and toward open space, but suddenly they both stopped their decent. Loki looked up to see Thor holding the other end of Gungnir and a now awake Odin holding onto Thor's leg. Loki dangled out over the edge of Asgard, the only thing keeping him from falling to his death, his grip on Gungnir.

"I could have done it, Father," Loki called out. "I could have done it! For you! For all of us."

"No, Loki," Odin said softly.

Two words, so small and simple, and yet so huge and profound. Just two words and Loki's heart shattered.

_Let go._

Two more words. Once more, so small and simple, and yet, those two whispered words were all it took and Loki let his fingers loosen and slip off Gungnir.

Then he was falling.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Let me know what you think! :)**

**Next up we'll be moving into my version of what happened to Loki between his fall at the end of _Thor_ and his appearance on Earth in _The Avengers. _There is going to be plenty of Loki whump so be sure to come back next Friday for more. **


	4. Painful Revelations

**A/N I've had a few people who were concerned that now that I'm focusing on Loki, I'll forget about Tony and Steve and their father/son relationship but don't worry. There will still be Tony and Steve moments. They may be fewer and farther between but they will still be included. **

**Also, I hope you guys are in this for the long haul because this will quite easily be the longest story I've written so far (not counting my one-shot series). **

**Thanks to the awesome people who take the time to leave me such wonderful reviews! I love you guys and it makes me happy to know you are getting some enjoyment and entertainment out of this story. :)**

_**ImperfectIsPerfect**_

_**Agent Ruby Red**_

_**Son-of-hiddle**_

_**Ophelia Lokisdottir**_

_**aliceindeepdarkwonderland**_

_**AmeliaRoseOswald**_

_**patty cake rocks**_

**Warning: Descriptions of torture. **

**Painful Revelations**

Loki knew what came next, but no one else did. Up until then, most everyone knew part or all of what they had seen, but what came next was something only Loki knew about. There was an entire year that no one in the room knew the events of and Loki would have preferred to keep it that way for the rest of his life. Now, however, the choice was no longer his. Soon everyone would know what happened between when he let go and when he arrived on Earth.

Loki was in for a bumpy ride.

Sure enough, suddenly, the feeling of falling, flailing, tearing, ripping, cutting, and burning all exploded throughout the darkness as the inky black seemed to shoot by, occasional lights here and there blurring past. The feeling of falling was full of pain and fear and disorientation.

"Where is this?" Thor asked.

"The Void," Loki said softly, struggling, and failing, to keep the slight trembling out of his voice.

Suddenly, The Void seemed to open up in the distance and stars could be seen. The opening quickly drew closer and as it did, a planet could be seen on the other side of The Void.

As the darkness finally began to lighten, they were able to see that the memory Loki was falling through The Void and toward the planet. The closer the planet got, the more they could make out its gray, craggy surface, which was devoid of any and all life. In a word, the planet looked dead.

Loki hurtled through the planet's atmosphere, falling faster and faster until he slammed into the ground with a mighty boom, sending a shock wave over the surface of the planet for miles and creating a huge crater in the rocky ground.

As the dust settled, gasps echoed through the throne room as Loki could finally be seen. He was laying in the center of the crater, and those watching couldn't figure out how he was still alive, let alone conscious. If he hadn't been Asgardian, or rather Jotun, he wouldn't have survived at all.

He laid in a heap, burns, bruises, and gashes covering his body. His clothes were ripped and his cape and helmet were missing. He was bloody and covered in dirt and ash and more than a few bones looked broken and out of place. His raspy and labored breathing echoed in the silence of the planet and he trembled in pain where he lay. As they watched, Loki squeezed his eyes closed and, with difficulty, curled his hand into a fist. A second later, a green light shimmered over Loki's body. The crowd heard the sickening pops of joints and bones being returned to their correct places.

Loki hissed through clenched teeth as his broken body started repairing itself. After a minute, the green light flickered out and Loki was left panting in exhaustion, partially healed but still in bad shape. A few minutes later, he began again. After another minute, he was forced to stop again as he drained what little strength he had. The cycle continued for nearly an hour, Loki would heal himself for a few seconds until he was too drained to continue, then he would rest for several minutes before trying again. After an hour, Loki had managed to heal all of his broken and dislocated bones and even the worst of his burns and gashes.

He still looked a sight, cut up with dried blood all over him and almost completely spent, but he no longer looked like he should be dead. With great effort, and a herculean amount of will, Loki forced his aching, battered, and exhausted body to sit up. He hissed in pain again but didn't cry out. He knew he wouldn't be able to force his body to stand so, as demeaning as it was, he started to crawl. It wasn't like there was anyone there to see him, and why should he care even if there was? He had lost everything. He had failed at everything. He had even failed at killing himself. Nothing mattered anymore.

He slowly crawled to where the crater started to slope upward. He paused, looking at the daunting task and wondering for a moment why he was even trying. He supposed, even after everything, his desire to live was still too strong. If only he could have the good sense to give up, lay down, and die. Everything would be a lot less painful, in so many ways.

He took a few deep breaths before forcing himself to start crawling up the side of the crater. It took over ten minutes and more than once, he would slip on the loose rock, slide down several feet, and have to pause to catch his breath as sweat streamed down his face. But eventually he made it to the top of the crater and pulled himself over the edge. He laid on his back on the ground next to the crater, breathing hard and shaking with the effort, but he had made it.

"Well done, Little Princeling," an oily voice said.

Loki, so exhausted from his climb and his injuries, couldn't leap to his feet like he wished and instead was forced to simply turn his head to see a grotesque creature with a large red mouth looking at him. Or he assumed it was looking at him, considering Loki couldn't see the thing's eyes due to the hood it was wearing.

"Who are you? Where am I?" Loki rasped, his voice rough from disuse and dehydration.

"I, Loki of Asgard, am your worst nightmare and I welcome you to Hell," the creature said.

Then it reached forward and grabbed Loki by the back of his collar and started walking, dragging Loki behind him. Loki tried to fight back, to free himself, but he was so drained he couldn't put up much of a fight, and every time he tried, the creature would shake him so hard stars would dance in Loki's vision. The trickster soon learned to stop struggling.

For the next hour, he was dragged, mercilessly, across the hard, and unforgiving ground. Rock and small ledges, both sharp and unyielding, jutted up from the almost rock-like ground, cutting and bruising his back as he was purposely dragged over, and knocked into, them. But despite the constant pain, Loki remained silent, determined to never let any sign of pain slip past his lips.

Finally, the creature stopped and threw Loki forward. Loki hit the ground with a grunt, rolling a few feet before coming to a stop. Loki looked up to see a tall, purple-skinned man towering over him. The man bent down closer to Loki and an evil grin spread across his face.

"Hello, Loki Odinson," he said.

"How do you know my name?" Loki asked.

"Oh, I know a lot about you," the man replied before turning to the creature who had brought Loki there. "Well done. Take him to his cell."

The creature grinned widely before grabbing Loki again. It was hard to see where they were going since Loki's back was to wherever the creature was headed, and with his collar gripped firmly in the creature's fist, it was almost impossible for Loki to crane his head around enough to see. But he did manage to get a glimpse of what looked like a fortress carved right into the rock of a sheer cliff face.

Loki was dragged inside the fortress and tossed into a small room. The room was empty except for a metal collar attached to a two foot chain that was bolted to the floor. The creature Loki had taken to mentally referring to as The Other pulled Loki over to the collar. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was about to happen next. Loki was pulled to his knees and turned to face the door.

He tried to struggle against the hold on him but he was still too weak and the metal collar was secured around his neck. Then Loki heard stone grate against stone as two panels, one on either side of him, retracted to reveal shackles, attached to chains, which were each wound around a large winch. The mechanism that was keeping the winches from rotating, was released, allowing the chains to unwind and be pulled over to Loki. The wide metal shackles were secured to each of his forearms. Then the winches were turned, winding the chains back around them and pulling the slack out of them until Loki's arms were stretched out to either side of him.

For a moment, Loki feared the chains would continue pulling until they pulled him apart, but he needn't have worried as, once the slack was out, the big wheels stopped rewinding the chains and they were locked into place. The shackles asserted enough pressure on Loki to keep him from changing from his current position, aside from perhaps lowering himself flat to the the floor to lay face down with his arms pulled to either side. But thankfully the pressure was not enough to cause him any pain. Although crouching on his knees, doubled over thanks to the collar around his neck not allowing him to sit up fully, and both arms stretched to either side with enough pressure to not allow him to move to either side, was definitely less than comfortable.

Once Loki was secured into place, The Other left and the purple man entered the room.

"Who are you?" Loki asked, using a bit of his weakened magic to strengthen and smooth his rough and weakened voice.

"My name is Thanos," the purple man said.

"Why am I here?" Loki asked.

"You are here because I brought you here," Thanos answered.

"What do you mean?" Loki asked.

"Oh, come now. Think about it," Thanos said. "All those things you said and did that you could never possibly imagine yourself doing. All those thoughts that weren't quite yours."

"You controlled me," Loki said.

"Manipulated actually. I believe the Earth term is brainwash," Thanos said.

"How?" Loki asked.

"With this," Thanos said, pulling out a small jewel that glowed with an ethereal blue light. "It's a jewel that is powered by an object called the Tesseract and I used that power to bring you here. It can't fully control someone from that distance, especially not a mind as strong as yours. But it could reach into your subconscious, to the emotions there. All the hurts and fears you pushed down, and you had ever so many for it to choose from. It brought them to the surface and made them so much stronger. Then it warped and twisted them to use against you. The process was subtle and slow. It couldn't very well order you to kill your brother right away. Not only would you have refused, you would have also noticed you were being influenced. It had to start small, playing on your doubts about your idiotic brother's readiness to lead, and build up from there. Step by step until you went from playing a mostly harmless prank, to actually killing your brother. Pity that hammer of his brought him back, though."

"You shut up about my brother!" Loki yelled.

"You still care for him. I can't believe, after everything, you still care for him. For them. See, the tesseract's power showed me a few of your memories. You were always the son who could never measure up, the son who could only succeed at cheap tricks, the son who lived in the shadow and ridicule of an arrogant, spoiled older brother, the son who was always a disappointment. And yet, even now, you still care for them. Sentiment. If you weren't so valuable to me, I'd kill you right now, but I need someone with a mind as strong as yours. Given, that makes things more difficult since that means the jewel can't fully take over your mind yet. The tesseract itself could but, unfortunately, it is not in my possession."

"What makes you think I would do _anything_ for you? You made me nearly start a war. You made me kill my brother. You made me kill the king of another realm and you nearly made me wipe out an entire race!" Loki yelled angrily.

"And you were too weak to see it through. But no matter, once you are completely under the tesseract's control I'll be able to make you do whatever I wish."

"You said yourself you couldn't control me, and I will _never_ willingly help you."

Thanos moved closer and bent down until his face was directly in front of Loki's.

"No, Little Prince, I said I couldn't control you _yet_."

**)()()(**

"Wha... What did he mean?" Thor asked, sounding like he was having trouble getting the words out.

Loki sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. He didn't want to relive this and he certainly didn't want to have to explain it, but as the magic paused the memory, he knew that they couldn't get this over with until he did.

"My mind was too strong for the jewel to completely take me over. The jewel only channeled the tesseract's power but it was a weakened version of the cube. Thanos had to weaken me both physically and mentally first before he could control me," Loki said, not meeting anyone's eyes.

"But you didn't have to do that with me," Clint said.

"That's because he already had me and I had the tesseract," Loki said. "My proximity to the tesseract strengthened the amount of power going into the jewel and with me fully under the tesseract's control, Thanos was able to use me as a sort of relay, or conduit, to enhance the jewel further. The tesseract channeled it's power through me, like a circuit, and into the jewel. Once Thanos had me completely under his control, he could take over anyone else he wanted. It took more time and effort with me because of the distance from the tesseract and because he had no one to channel it through."

"But you said you were too strong and he had to weaken you," Steve said, having read between the lines.

"How did he do that?" Tony asked, on the same page with Steve.

Loki was silent for a long moment before he said one word.

"Torture."

Loki refused to look at anyone, so he didn't see the stricken expressions on his family's faces. He could still feel their stares, though, the stares of so many people, so many eyes, and in the deafening silence it was oppressive. Fortunately for Loki, he didn't have to endure it for long as the magic resumed the memories. But as soon as it did, Loki found he actually preferred the silent stares. It was preferable to watching himself be tortured mercilessly.

**)()()(**

Thanos began by breaking. He broke Loki's hands, his arms, his feet, and his legs. But he didn't just break those appendages, he broke every bone in every one of Loki's fingers, one by one, then he smashed the rest of Loki's hand, then broke his forearm, then broke his upper arm. Then he moved to the other hand and did the same. Then he moved to Loki's feet and legs. With monumental effort, Loki gritted his teeth and refused to make a sound, not even a grunt or a hiss passed his lips.

Once Thanos was finished with his breaking, he watched in sick fascination as Loki instinctively used his magic to heal himself. Loki was still weakened and drained but he was able to eventually heal all of the breaks and sagged against his bonds, panting as the pain finally faded.

"Well, this is going to be fun after all," Thanos said with a sadistic smirk.

From there, Thanos began a wide range of torture; beating, cutting, whipping, burning, and after every one, Thanos waited for Loki to heal himself and even repair his often shredded clothing with his magic, each time taking longer to do so due to fatigue. Then Thanos would begin again with something new. Some of the worst tortures being the metal pokers and rods, the ends glowing orange and the smell of burnt flesh as the burning metal was dragged and carved over Loki's chest and back. Loki couldn't decide which was worse, that or the whip Thanos would crack across Loki's back, flaying flesh from bone with every strike.

Loki tried as hard as he could to hold his tongue, to be strong, and to not give Thanos the satisfaction, but he could only take so much and eventually hisses and grunts of pain began to escape him, followed by groans and short cries before eventually full on screams began to rip from his throat despite his efforts to hold on to them.

The real Loki closed his eyes and kept them that way as the memories played out in front of everyone. He didn't need to see them. He remembered every hit, every cut, every pain, and every scream. They were seared into his mind and his nerve endings. He didn't need to watch this again to remember. For the rest of his life, he would never forget. Not for the first time, Loki was grateful his magic kept him from being scarred by his torture. He didn't need a physical reminder.

Unfortunately, although Loki could close his eyes, blocking out the sight of his nightmares, he couldn't block out the sounds. The sounds of his pain and the sounds of the horror and disgust of the spectators as they could see everything Loki went through and even sense echos of Loki's pain. It was all part of the experience that the magic was projecting. But while the others would only get a detached experience of the feelings that were coming, Loki had the disadvantage of having the memory of the pain and fear, making this experience all too real for him, to the point that it almost felt like he was literally reliving it.

Loki gritted his teeth and swallowed thickly. He couldn't control the memories. He couldn't turn them off or change them. He had to endure them as everyone else watched along. He didn't, however, have to suffer the indignity of throwing up in front of everybody. That was one thing he could control, and no matter how much his stomach roiled with nausea with every one of his screams, he would not let it show.

The torture seemed to last forever but in actuality, the magic was only showing the highlights, if one could call them that, and compressing the rest, such as the times when Thanos would leave him alone and let him rest long enough so he wouldn't die during the next session. He would torture Loki for hours at a time, then stop and watch in fascination as Loki's magic, weakened by pain and fatigue sought to heal him of his grievous injuries. It always took a while for his strained magic to slowly heal his body little by little but Thanos always gave him the time needed, even allowing him to repair his tattered clothing, which might have seemed like a waste of energy, but Loki rather preferred to not suffer the additional indignity of being naked.

However, Loki knew the only reason the Titan allowed him the time was because Thanos needed him alive and in one piece to carry out his plans. Loki wasn't sure what Thanos wanted but it must have been important as Thanos even went so far as to have some kind of creature come and feed him something that looked horrible and tasted worse, but it would keep him alive, which was what Thanos wanted. Loki tried to refuse the vile substance but that just made them pry his mouth open and force feed him to the point of choking. So, finally, he just forced the stuff down, along with the dirty water they made him drink.

He never fed or watered Loki often enough to allow him to regain any kind of strength nor did he let Loki rest long enough to recharge his magic to any great degree. Thanos provided Loki with just enough to keep him alive but weak enough so he couldn't escape.

The main bulk of those, mostly unimportant, parts were quickly glossed over in the memories so everyone could get a sense of the passage of time but without it having to take as long as it lasted in reality. Even some of the rather repetitive elements of the torture was skimmed over in favor of the more "interesting" portions.

"How long was this?" Bruce asked, as the memories skipped over more repetitive parts.

"I couldn't be positive on the exact passage of time, but at this point I believe it was about two months in," Loki said matter of fact.

"Two months!" Steve exclaimed. "How long were you held captive?"

"I believe it was around six months before Thanos succeeded in taking over my mind," Loki said, somehow managing to keep his tone emotionless.

"You were tortured on a regular basis for six months?" Clint exclaimed. "Why? Was he just that sadistic?"

"He needed to take over my mind. It took him that long to do it," Loki said through clenched teeth.

"You were gone for almost a year, though," Frigga said, taking a few steps forward. "What happened the rest of the time?"

Loki was silent for a long moment before finally speaking.

"By the time I landed on that planet it was somewhere around four months after I fell," Loki said simply.

"Then where were you for the first four months?" Thor asked.

"The Void," Loki said as if it were obvious.

"You were falling through pitch black space for four months?" Tony asked in astonishment.

"And survived?" Steve added.

"As I said, I cannot be sure of the exact passage of time, but I believe so," Loki said, once more avoiding meeting anyone's eyes, and as such he missed the shocked and awed expressions directed at him.

"So for all that time, he just beat you and whipped you like we've already seen?" Clint asked, sounding hopeful that it wouldn't get any worse than it already was.

"If only," Loki said with a derisive snort, the words chilling those around him. "Thanos was nothing if not creative. He found a much worse torture."

"What?" Thor asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Loki's response froze everyone in the room in horror.

"Death."

**)()()(**

Thanos was once again whipping Loki but this time he had made an addition to his whip. He had electrified it. Every time the whip snapped into Loki's shredded back, a jolt of electricity shot through him, leaving him writhing and screaming in agony on the floor. When it was just a regular whip, it was mostly endurable but with the electricity running through it, every time Thanos sent it snapping into Loki's back, shocks of painful energy shot through the chained man even as the electrified whip ripped the skin from his back, cutting him, burning him, and electrocuting him all at once.

This went on for some time, the whip making contact for longer stretches of time, sending bolts of electricity through Loki's frame for several seconds at a time, until, after the months of torture, Loki's body could stand no more abuse and it finally gave out.

His heart pounded and squeezed. His breathing came in short, desperate pants as he sought the air he needed but couldn't seem to get. His chest was tight and painful. It felt like someone was squeezing his ribcage and crushing the oh so vital organs inside. Pain quickly shot to his head, making it feel as if it were exploding from the inside out in slow motion. It felt as if his very body had turned against him and began to torture him as well. He pulled against his chains, desperately trying to get away from the pain coming from within his own body. The chains didn't budge, though, and the pain only intensified.

It felt like he was trapped in that agony for years, the pain steadily getting worse until with one last agonizing jolt, his heart stopped and he laid lifelessly on the floor amidst the chains, now slackened slightly by the lack of resistance.

"He is dead master. It seems his heart gave out," The Other said.

The rage on Thanos' face had even the spectators in the throne room shrinking back warily.

"The worthless, good for nothing, weak-" Thanos yelled at Loki in frustration at losing what he needed for his invasion.

The whip cracked forward, hitting Loki's body and sending energy skittering through him once more. Loki jerked as the shock ran through his battered heart and restarted it. With a loud gasp of breath, life returned to his body. He laid there, shaking and gasping for air as his abused body tried to hold onto the life that it had just managed to reacquire. Through the haze of pain and exhaustion, Loki slowly raised his eyes to look at the monster holding the whip and smiling evilly down at him.

Things were about to get so much worse.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thoughts? Feel free to drop me a review and let me know. :)**


	5. Finality

**A/N Look at this! An early update! You're welcome! And don't get used to this because it likely won't happen again. :P This will be the last torture chapter. We're getting closer to the end of the memory chapters. Just a couple more to go, then we'll get back to the present.**

**P.S. I forgot to mention this before, but all I know about Thanos is what I've seen in the movies, which is basically nothing. So I'm kind of making him my own character and basically making him however the story needs him to be. So if he seems OOC that's why. **

**Thank you to all my reviewers! You guys are awesome!**

_**Ophelia Lokisdottir**_

_**FanFictionQueen1**_

_**Son-of-hiddle**_

_**aliceindeepdarkwonderland**_

_**ImperfectIsPerfect**_

_**embermoonlight**_

**Warning: Descriptions of torture but not quite as bad as last chapter. **

**Finality**

Thanos was frustrated. Loki knew it. For everything he had done to the trickster, for all of his efforts, Loki still hadn't broken. Thanos had exhausted nearly every method of physical torture he could think of and, although Loki's body was plenty weak, his mind was still just a little too strong to take over completely.

Thankfully, Thanos had finally tired of killing and reviving Loki. Unfortunately, he instead decided to try something new.

The next memory shown was one Loki really didn't want anyone else seeing. Thanos had discovered the futility of the beatings and whippings and other similar physical tortures and had decided to use temperature against him.

He had started by lowering the temperature, either not knowing of Loki's Jotun heritage or not aware of the implications of it. At first, as the temperature dropped, Loki actually became more comfortable, and as it dropped lower and lower, far past when a human or Asgardian would have been shivering and suffering, Loki felt fine, his body genetically built for the cold.

He tried very hard not to feel thankful for the benefits of his heritage, which were not only keeping him from suffering in the cold but as the room grew even colder, were likely what was keeping him from freezing to death. He wasn't subjected to the cold for long, though, as his lack of discomfort in spite of how low the temperature became, was soon noticed by Thanos and the monstrous man came storming back into the room.

"You are just full of surprises, aren't you, Little Prince?" he said, studying Loki's apparent comfort in the room that was so cold that ice and frost had gathered on the walls. "You may take cold well enough, but I'm willing to wager you don't handle heat quite so easily."

Then with another twisted smile, Thanos left and Loki felt a shot of fear go through him, he never had handled heat well. Asgardian summers had always been hard on him and now he knew why. Although he had been raised on Asgard and had acclimated somewhat to the naturally warmer weather, he was still genetically a Frost Giant which meant he thrived in the cold and withered in the heat.

Loki knew things were about to get very uncomfortable. As bad as all of the physical wounds he had endured over the last months were, this was going to be worse. Now he would be fighting his very DNA.

As the room rapidly began to warm, the ice melted on the red stone of the walls and a shiver ran through Loki at the sight. It looked almost like the walls were bleeding and it didn't help that the floor was still spattered with Loki's own blood from the repeated abuse. It didn't take long for Loki to begin to feel uncomfortable. Although previously his heritage had been a blessing, protecting him far past what an Asgardian could take, now it had become a curse as he began to sweat and pant long before when even a human should have.

As the temperature grew hotter and hotter, and the metal shackles began to burn his arms and the metal collar seared into his neck, Loki began to hallucinate, which was perhaps the worst torture he had endured thus far. It made him actually wish for the return of simple physical pain rather than the psychological pain he was feeling now. Because Loki couldn't hallucinate about just anything. No, he just _had_ to hallucinate about his family.

It started with Odin. Loki looked up to see his father standing in the doorway and at first, his dazed mind thought his family had come to rescue him. He quickly learned that wasn't so, however.

"Father?" Loki whispered.

"I am not your father," Odin said. "You are a helpless runt I took pity on as a child. You are not, nor will you ever be, my son. Thor is my son and no other."

"Father, please," Loki begged.

"You are a Frost Giant," Odin said. "The monster parents tell their children about at night."

A tear slipped from Loki's eye to mingle with the sweat on his face.

Next came Thor. He stormed into the room as strong, brave, and majestic as ever.

"Brother," Loki sighed.

"You are no brother of mine!" Thor snapped. "No brother of mine would allow himself to be manipulated like that. And look at you! You are pathetic, crouching in a cell, quivering because it's a bit warm? You are weak! You always have been and you always will be."

"Brother, please. I-"

"You are nothing more than a worthless Frost Giant, something to be killed on sight!" Thor yelled.

A hitched breath escaped Loki in the form of a soft sob.

"Oh, don't tell me you're crying again," a voice said, and Loki looked up to see that Frigga had replaced Thor.

"Mother," Loki said, hope creeping into his voice. She, above all others, had cared for him. She would help him.

"Oh, I am ever so glad I don't have to pretend to be your mother any longer," she spat. "It was beginning to get old."

"Wha... What?" Loki breathed, feeling his heart completely shatter in his chest.

"Thor is my son. I bore him. You were nothing more than a political burden I had to bear for the sake of the kingdom. You were worthless for anything else and you even ended up being useless for the purpose for which you were intended."

"Mother. No, please, I- I-" Loki stuttered, his throat tightening with emotion.

"You are a Frost Giant. No Frost Giant may call me Mother," she said before she wavered and disappeared.

Loki had crouched there in that cell, bound and suffering for months, but none of it had compared to the words his family had thrown in his face, the words he had always sought to escape from but never could as they sprang from his own mind.

Ever since arriving on that Hellish planet, he had known he would likely never see his home or his family again and even if he did, all that awaited him was punishment. Manipulated or not, he still committed serious crimes and he had no idea how to explain. He wasn't even sure he deserved to be able to explain. He should have been stronger. He should have been able to tell that he was being used, and he should have been able to throw off the tesseract's influence. But he hadn't. He had been too weak.

He knew all he could expect back home was his family's hatred, if they hadn't already hated him all along, the pathetic runt of their enemy. It really was little more than he deserved. But even knowing all of that, he had still wanted nothing more than to go home, and to see them all again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to the empty room, knowing they couldn't hear him but still wishing that somehow they could. "I'm sorry."

In the throne room, a tear slipped from Loki's closed eyes as the pain in his heart hit him just as hard the second time around. Unknown to him, his eyes were not the only ones that weren't dry. Thor had silent tears rolling freely down his face, Frigga was sobbing softly and even Odin had a tear glistening on his weathered cheek.

In the memory, Loki shuddered from the unforgiving heat as he sought to breathe past the lump in his throat and the sobs that occasionally escaped him.

"My Son," a gentle voice said.

Loki slowly raised his head to see Odin once more standing in the room. Anguish passed through Loki as he realized the mental torture was about to begin anew.

"My Son," Odin said again, still sounding gentle and even loving, but Loki knew it wouldn't last. "You are a Frost Giant."

"Must you all keep shoving that in my face?" Loki asked, trying to sound angry and spiteful but instead just sounding broken.

"You are a Frost Giant," Odin said again.

"I know!" Loki screamed. "You keep telling me over and over, as if I needed any reminding! I know what I am and I couldn't help what I was born as! If you hate me so much, you should have left me to die! Why couldn't you have left me to die?" Loki broke off with a choked sob.

"Loki," Odin whispered coming to crouch down in front of him. "The heat is hurting you. It's causing you to hallucinate and it's killing you."

"Because of my cursed heritage," Loki whispered.

"You can save yourself," Odin said.

"How?" Loki asked.

"You are a Frost Giant," Odin said once more and the meaning finally penetrated Loki's hazy mind.

It was what his mind had been trying to tell him through the images of his family and amid all of his self-depreciating thoughts. Each one of them had said it. He was a Frost Giant, which meant he was a natural born master of the cold. How does one fight heat? With cold. But in order to do that...

"I can't," Loki choked.

"Yes, you can. You must, My Son," Odin said. "You must if you are to survive, and you _must_ survive. Survive, My Son. Survive and come home to us," Odin's voice echoed away as the hallucination once more vanished.

Loki took a deep, shaky breath. He didn't want to do what he was about to do but he no longer had a choice. Reluctantly, he reached inward and found the part of himself he had unconsciously been restraining even as it fought to be released. With a final, defeated sigh, he let it loose.

It began with his hands. Slowly, his fingers turned blue, followed by his hands as the blue crept upward. It disappeared beneath his clothing but Loki could feel it, a soothing cold that was like a balm against the burning heat. The shackles on his wrists hissed in response to the temperature change as Loki's arms were covered in cold. Then it moved onto his chest and Loki let out a startled gasp at the merciful relief from the heat.

From there, the cold spread down over his legs and up through his neck causing the hot collar to sizzle and wisps of steam to rise from it from the sudden contact with cold. Lastly, the blue spread over his face and he no longer felt the heat pressing in on him. He was shrouded by a shell of cold that staved off the heat and allowed him to begin to think clearly again.

He knew he looked a sight, blue skinned with blood-red eyes and raised, ridged patterns on his skin. However, the relief was actually worth it and there was no one there to see him anyway. Not that it really mattered. He was a Frost Giant. It was about time he began to accept that, whether he liked it or not. It was stupid to not use all of his abilities to stay alive even if those abilities left him looking like a monstrous mongrel who nobody had ever wanted.

In the throne room, Loki stared at his visage, being able to really see his true form for the first time. The memory of himself in Jotun form in the vault with The Casket had been too fleeting for him to really see.

He was so focused on himself that he completely missed the looks on the spectators faces, which ranged from shock and horror to awed curiosity. Frigga and Odin were two of the only ones who not only weren't surprised but weren't repulsed by the sight. To anyone who looked at them, it honestly looked as if Loki's Jotun appearance made no difference to them. But Loki didn't see that, just as he missed the looks on Thor's and the other Avengers' faces. Surprise was evident on their faces but otherwise they didn't look horrified as Loki would have thought, instead they looked more curious. The humans didn't have the basis of hatred for the Jotuns that Asgardians did, and they were somewhat more inclined to accept those that were different from them.

Thor's expression, though, was the one that was most surprising. He didn't have the same shock, already knowing of Loki's heritage and having seen Frost Giants before. The appearance didn't shock him, although seeing it on his brother was definitely different. Surprisingly enough, the main emotion on his face wasn't revulsion, or even curiosity like his mortal friends. It was awe. He was truly awed by Loki's Jotun appearance. He violently pushed aside and denied the feelings of prejudice that tried to rise up in him from so many years of growing up viewing Jotuns through the hatred that came from being old warring enemies.

It had been centuries since Asgard and Jotunheim had been at war. It was a war that Thor had never even had a part in. Therefore, he had no right to hold the same feelings as those who did. All he really knew of Frost Giants was what he had learned from childhood stories and that was not a basis to form such prejudices. He didn't know Frost Giants or their culture. He had only even met them once, and that had been when he had invaded their realm and started a fight. It was time he stopped viewing them through preconceived and baseless notions.

Regardless of what the Jotun race was truly like, Loki was Thor's brother, Frost Giant or not. He knew Loki and he knew his brother was not a monstrous, evil creature as he had always believed the Jotuns to be. Even if the Frost Giants really were, that didn't mean Loki was and Thor needed to look past the skin to the brother beneath.

So, as the memory Loki's skin changed from pale white to deep blue, Thor put aside his prejudices and other memories and looked at Loki objectively. By doing so, Thor was able to really look at Loki's true form and see it, instead of a monster from a childhood story. What Thor saw amazed him. He could honestly say that Loki's blue skin was actually beautiful. Although Thor would never voice that particular word, it was the one that fit best. Loki wasn't ugly or monstrous, his Jotun appearance was compelling and intriguing.

If only Loki could have seen Thor's expression, but the younger prince was too busy staring in horrified disgust at his blue skin and blood red eyes. He had called himself a monster, but he had never actually looked at his terrible appearance. He truly looked nightmarish, the visage of the evil villain from every scary story told to Asgardian children. He was a garish sight. Loki couldn't stand to look at himself any longer and couldn't bare to look at the faces of those around him so he fixed his eyes on his hands. They were the pale white that they had been all his life, still hiding the terrible truth beneath, that not only was he different, he was the worst kind of different. He was wrong in every way, a hated enemy to his adoptive people, and not worthy of life to his blood people.

He curled his hands into fists as that horrible blue flashed through his mind again. Why did he have to be different? Why couldn't his current appearance have been the real one and the Jotun blue been the illusory lie?

Loki's eyes were finally drawn back to the memory unfolding as his memory self was jarred out of his thoughts by the sound of the cell door being opened. His memory self looked up to see Thanos studying him as someone might an insect. It took a lot of strength of will to force away the cool protection of his Jotun appearance. He would not give Thanos the satisfaction of seeing his Jotun skin. He was Loki of Asgard and he would face Thanos as such.

Fortunately, his clothing covered everything but his hands and his face. So although he had to push the blue back off his hands and face, he was able to leave it beneath his clothes, keeping his chest and vital organs safe from the relentless and harmful temperature. The metal collar bit into his neck again as the cold receded and the metal once more began to burn him but he refused to let it show, carefully keeping the wince off of his face.

Even with keeping the cold beneath his clothing, Loki could still feel the heat press in upon him and sweat begin to gather on his face once more, he could feel his mind starting to grow hazy and disoriented again, perhaps not as badly or as dangerous as before but it was still affecting him.

Unlike other times when Thanos came into the room, this time he didn't speak. He simply stood there watching. Loki was beginning to wonder if he was hallucinating again.

"What do you want now?" Loki asked.

Thanos still didn't reply.

"Well? Why are you just standing there staring at me?" Loki asked, unable to help his curiosity.

"You're almost ready," he said with a maniacal grin.

"I told you before. I will _never _help you. Do what you will, but you cannot break me," Loki said.

"You're right," Thanos said. "_I _can't break you. For everything I've tried and for all my efforts, I have been unable to break you. You should take that as a compliment, no one else has ever succeeded in withstanding me, especially not for so long," Thanos said.

"Then why keep me? If you know I'm never going to break then why not kill me or let me go?" Loki asked.

"Oh, I never said you wouldn't break. I just said _I _couldn't break you," Thanos said, leaning down so his face was inches from Loki's. "You will break Little Prince, but it won't be at my hand. All this time has shown me one thing. Only one person can break you."

"Who?" Loki asked before he could stop himself.

"You," Thanos said.

Loki stared at the man with wide eyes, knowing he was right. Unfortunately, knowing it was true didn't protect Loki from it happening. With that realization, he felt something in his mind shift. With fear-filled eyes, he turned his head to see his hallucinations of Thor, Odin, and Frigga standing in the corner of the room silently staring at him, their faces full of hatred. Just like that, Loki knew he had unintentionally done what Thanos hadn't been able to in all his time as a prisoner. He had defeated himself.

Loki's dark thoughts, his own demons and self-depreciation, was what Thanos had needed. He needed Loki's mind weakened and Loki had done the work for him by warring with himself. He had been his own undoing and it was that soul-crushing realization that finally broke Loki Odinson.

Thanos was right in front of him. In his hand was a golden spear with a familiar blue jewel glowing in the end of it. Thanos moved the spear toward Loki. The trickster struggled to back away from it, shaking his head and trying to escape. The chains held him firm, not even allowing him to move more than a couple of inches in any direction. The tip of the spear grew closer and closer until finally it lightly touched the center of Loki's chest.

Then the world exploded in pain.

It was a cold the likes of which no Frost Giant could create and it was a burning fire, hotter than the surface of a sun. It crept outward from his chest, reaching down his legs, through his arms, and up his neck. Then it turned inward, clawing, grasping at his mind. He fought it, fought it with everything he had as it sank into his mind, ripping and tearing at his will.

It felt like being frozen and burned alive, dying and reviving. It was the single most painful and all-encompassing feeling Loki had ever endured in all his years. His mouth was open in a soundless scream as the pain paralyzed his lungs, trapping what little air there was inside. Outwardly, he made no sound, but inside, he screamed with every fiber if his being in agony.

After an eternity of fire and ice, life and death, it was done. Loki felt the chains open and fall away. He felt himself stand. He heard and saw Thanos ask if he was ready. He felt his own head incline in affirmation and heard his own voice say, "But of course," before feeling a maniacal grin spread across his face.

And the entire time he was trapped, a prisoner, completely locked away within the confines of his own mind.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Let me know what you think. If you loved it or hated it. I would love to know! :)**

**Next chapter we will see some of the events of _The Avengers_ from Loki's point of view. **


	6. The Avengers

**A/N I know this is once again the events of _The Avengers_ but it does have a point and I tried to condense it as much as possible. **

**P.S. Who has seen the trailer for _Avengers: Age of Ultron_? It looks AMAZING! :D I wish we didn't have to wait 6 more months to see it. :(**

**Thanks to my reviewers! I'm glad a few of you guys are still enjoying this story. **

_**Ophelia Lokisdottir**_

_**FanFictionQueen1**_

_**embermoonlight**_

_**aliceindeepdarkwonderland**_

_**Son-of-hiddle**_

_**ImperfectIsPerfect**_

**The Avengers**

Loki had hoped that the memories would end there, that it would only make him relive everything up to his mind being taken over. He was greatly disappointed, however, as the memories continued beyond that.

Even with his magic, it hadn't been easy to make the connection between the tesseract and the jewel strong enough to create a doorway, but eventually he succeeded. Thanos placed the spear into Loki's hands. Then Loki was traveling to Earth through a blue corridor of light that felt more like The Void than the bifrost.

From the depths of his mind, Loki watched himself land in the underground chamber. He watched himself fight and kill. He watched himself take over the minds of others as had been done to him. All the while, he silently screamed. He screamed and railed and fought against the oppression in his mind that was making him harm others. He wanted it to stop. He wanted to yell at the people to flee, flee for their lives. But no matter how loud he screamed, no one heard him.

Loki found it more than a little ironic that The Voice that had whispered and screamed in the back of his mind before his fall was now in control of him and he had become the voice whispering and screaming in the back of his own mind.

Loki sat in his underground hideout and watched the one called Selvig work on the portal device. As he sat there, the gem in the staff flared brightly and Loki felt himself being pulled to another place, without his body ever leaving Earth. He stood on a floating asteroid, The Other standing in front of him and Thanos hidden in the shadows above on a rocky ledge.

"The Chitauri grow restless," The Other said.

"Let them gird themselves. I will lead them into glorious battle," he heard himself say as an illusion of himself, dressed in full battle armor, appeared in front of him to face The Other.

"Battle? Against the meager might of Earth?"

"Glorious, not lengthy," the illusion said. "If your force is as formidable as you claim."

"You question us?" The Other asked dangerously. "You question him? He who put the scepter in your hand. Who gave you ancient knowledge and purpose when you were cast out. Defeated."

'He who caused me to do the things resulting in my fall. Then took over my mind after endless torture,' the real Loki thought, but of course he was powerless to actually voice it.

Instead, what came out of his mouth was, "I was a king! The rightful King of Asgard. Betrayed."

'By who?' The real Loki thought scathingly. If anyone had done the betraying, it was him. He had betrayed his entire family and his realm. And now he was doing the same to another innocent race of people.

"Your ambition is little," The Other said. "And born of childish need. We look beyond the Earth to greater worlds the tesseract will avail."

"You don't have the tesseract yet," Loki drawled.

The Other spun around and was suddenly in Loki's face, his hand raised as if to attack but he didn't touch the Asgardian. The fake Loki never so much as flinched.

"I don't threaten," Loki said, raising the spear into The Other's face. "But until I open the doors, until your force is mine to command, you are but words."

"You will have your war, Asgardian," The Other said, lowering his hand and taking a step closer to Loki. "If you fail, if the tesseract is kept from us, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he cannot find you."

A shot of fear ran down his spine as Loki realized the creature was now taking to him. The real him, trapped in the back of his own mind. It knew that he was trying to resist and The Other was trying to scare him away from doing so. However, there wasn't anything they could do to him that would be worse than what he had already been through. He was at rock bottom, he couldn't get any lower. The creature's threat meant nothing to him now.

"You think you know pain," The Other whispered from behind him, almost like he had heard Loki's thoughts. "He will make you long for something sweet as pain."

The Other touched the side of Loki's face and horrible pain shot through his body for a brief moment. Then it was gone and he was back on Earth, still sitting in the same place, never having physically moved. Nothing had changed. He was still trapped in his own mind and still at the mercy of the tesseract itself. The only difference now was the tendril of fear that coiled around Loki's trapped mind and refused to go away.

He eventually got up and moved over to observe Selvig's work. From the confines of his own mind, Loki studied the work the scientist had done so far. He had made a lot of progress and the machine would work perfectly. As he studied it, though, Loki noticed something. Instantly, he blocked the thought off, covering it with his own consciousness and hiding it deep within himself. Selvig had included a fail safe, a way to bypass the forcefield and shut the machine down. Selvig's subconscious was trying to resist in the only way it could.

And now Loki was doing the same. He couldn't retake control of his body, he couldn't stop this, he couldn't free these men, but he could fight back in some small way. He was already holding back the majority of his magic. He couldn't restrict it all from the tesseract. It was still able to use his magic for basic things like illusions and making doubles of himself, but it couldn't use it as the powerful weapon that it truly was. If it could, the Earth would be as good as done for.

Loki's magic was a part of who he was and although the tesseract had taken over his body, it could not take over his mind and his soul. It could only lock his mind away where he had no control. His magic was his and if he could control nothing else, he could control how and where the bulk of his magic was used. Two could play this game. So he locked his magic away within the part of himself that still belonged to him. Just as he did with the piece of knowledge that would likely end up being the key to stopping the Chitauri.

He had to keep the fail-safe hidden so the tesseract's power, and by default Thanos, wouldn't discover it. Now that the knowledge was in his mind, the tesseract's power could discover it if he wasn't careful. Loki silently vowed with everything in him that he would keep it secret if it killed him because this secret could either save them all or condemn them to death and subjugation.

**)()()(**

Next, Loki found himself in Germany and endured the horror of watching himself rip out a man's eye, powerless to stop himself. He wanted to be sick but he didn't even have enough control over his body to do that. He attacked authorities, he subjugated innocent people, and he had an, admittedly impressive, encounter with Captain America, one of the few people who could actually match him. He had felt grateful when Iron Man had shown up and the two of them had taken him captive. For a moment, he felt relief that he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else.

Then Loki realized it was all a trap. He had gotten captured on purpose and he almost wanted to cry in frustration at not being able to warn the others of the danger they were in.

When he heard the thunder on the plane, he had felt hope rise in him even as his face showed fear and worry.

Thor.

His brother was coming for him! Even if he believed Loki to be evil, Loki still longed to see him and he knew that, even if all others failed, Thor could successfully stop him. Thor burst onto the plane and grabbed him, flying them both out into the night sky. After they landed, Loki got his first good look at Thor for the first time in a year. Joy shot through the imprisoned Loki even as simmering hatred boiled through the other part of him.

"Where is the tesseract?" Thor asked.

"Oh, I missed you too." Although it came out sarcastic, the real Loki felt those words wholeheartedly.

"Do I look to be in a gaming mood?" Thor asked angrily.

"Oh, you should thank me. With the bifrost gone how much dark energy did the Allfather have to conjure to get you here? Your precious Earth."

Thor dropped his hammer and angrily pulled Loki to his feet, but instead of striking him as Loki was expecting, Thor gently gripped the side of Loki's neck as he had done many times in their youth. The real Loki hadn't realized just how much he had missed the gesture. He wanted to cry for the ache in his heart and the knowledge that he couldn't tell Thor how much he had missed him and how much he truly cared about him.

"I thought you dead," Thor said.

"Did you mourn?" Loki asked.

"We all did," Thor said, and the words both warmed Loki to know that they cared and saddened him that his family had to be put through such pain and grief because of his weaknesses.

However, the other part of him, the part that was in control, was full of sarcasm, hatred, and disgust. Unfortunately, that was the part that possessed the privilege of speaking.

"Our father-" Thor continued, but Loki cut him off.

"_Your_ father. He did tell you my true parentage did he not?"

"We were raised together. We played together. We fought together. Do you remember none of that?"

'Yes, I do,' Loki wanted to say but that was not what came out.

"I remember a shadow, living in the shade of your greatness. I remember you tossing me into an abyss. I who was and should be king!"

'No, you idiot,' Loki thought to himself. 'He didn't throw us, we let go.'

"So you take the world I love as recompense for your imagined slights," Thor said. "No, the Earth is under my protection Loki."

"And you're doing a marvelous job with that," he replied sarcastically. "The humans slaughter each other in droves while you idly fret. I mean to rule them and why should I not?"

"You think yourself above them."

"Well, yes," Loki said.

"Then you miss the truth of ruling, Brother," Thor said. "A throne would suit you ill."

Loki felt pride swell up in him. Thor had really grown up. He had gained a bit of wisdom and was much closer to the man Loki always knew he could be. Loki just wished he could tell his brother those things.

Instead, he felt himself angrily push past Thor and walk a few steps up the outcropping.

"I've seen worlds you've never known about. I have grown, _Odinson_, in my exile," Loki said.

'Yes, grown weak and insane,' the real Loki thought. While Thor had become a better man, Loki had become trapped in a hate-filled shell of who he used to be. That was the exact opposite of growing.

"I have seen the true power of the tesseract and when I wield it-"

"Who showed you this power?" Thor asked. "Who controls the would be king?"

'A monster,' Loki thought.

"I am a king!" his voice yelled.

"Not here!" Thor yelled back. "You give up the tesseract! You give up this poisonous dream!" Thor gripped Loki's neck again. "You come home," he all but begged. Oh, how Loki wished he could. He wanted nothing more than to go home and the knowledge that he couldn't, made his heart weep.

"I don't have it," the poisoned part of him said, causing Thor to jerk back in frustration. "You need the cube to bring me home, but I sent it off, I know not where."

'Liar!' Loki mentally screamed at himself.

"You listen well, Brother," Thor said, but was suddenly knocked off the ledge and onto the forest floor as Iron Man flew into him.

Loki was left to listen to himself say some stupid, cheeky remark, before sitting down to watch the fight below. All the while, unable to do anything but chafe at his imprisonment and bide his time, holding on to the one thing that could bring the entire plan down around him. It was a small thing, but at least he had some way of fighting back.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Drop me a review and let me know if you are still liking this story or not. :)**

**Next chapter we wrap up _The Avengers_. Then we will finally get back to the present and move on from there. **


	7. A Different Perspective

**A/N All right, this is the last of the movie events. After this chapter, everything will get back to everybody in the present and proceed from there. So this should be the last of the past/flashbacks.**

**On a side note, if you recognize some of the dialogue near the end of this chapter, it's because it's from the last chapter of my previous story _Steven Anthony Stark._ **

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! You guys literally made my week! :D**

_**Ophelia Lokisdottir**_

_**ImperfectIsPerfect**_

_**Aka-Baka Hoshi**_

_**neal4grissom**_

_**SwimmerGirl0726**_

_**FanFictionQueen1**_

_**Son-of-hiddle**_

_**aliceindeepdarkwonderland**_

_**Guest**_

_**RoxasGuyXIII**_

_**embermoonlight**_

**A Different Perspective**

His time on the helicarrier was anything but pleasant. He had been so utterly cruel. The things he had said, the things he had done, they had sickened and haunted him. If he survived this whole ordeal, he knew he would never be able to forget anything he had done on this planet, most of all when he mercilessly stabbed and killed the brave, selfless agent named Coulson.

He did have to admire Miss Romanoff, though. The way she had succeeded in playing him, getting the truth from him, when he himself was powerless to give it to her. She was good, and he was glad she had manged to get what little information she had from him. It was something, at least, and he hoped it would help them stop him.

It didn't. Chaos broke out on the helicarrier as Loki's men, led by Barton, attacked. Loki easily escaped from his cell and waited for Thor to show up. Loki knew he would. The real Loki wanted to warn Thor but once again he couldn't as his brother ran toward the illusion, falling through it and landing in the cell. Loki fought to stop himself but his hand hit the button to seal the door closed anyway.

"Are you ever not going to fall for that?" Loki asked.

Thor lunged forward and hit the glass with Mjolnir, cracking it and causing one of the clamps to disengage. Loki felt a grin spread across his face even as a shot of fear ran through him and he silently begged Thor not to hit the glass again.

"The humans think us immortal. Should we test that?" Loki asked, walking over to the control panel for the cage.

Loki started to panic. If he hit that button, the cage would fall from the helicarier. Thor was pretty resilient but not even he was completely invincible. Fortunately, Loki was stopped as Agent Coulson knocked one of the guards out and leveled a huge gun at the mind-controlled trickster.

"Move away, please," Phil said. Loki slowly took a step back. "You like this?" Phil asked motioning to the gun in his hands. "We started working on the prototype after you sent the destroyer. Even I don't know what it does." He pressed a button on the side and the gun powered up. "You want to find out?"

'No! You can't!' Loki mentally yelled at himself as he saw what was about to happen, and for the first time since his mind had been taken over, a voice not his own answered him.

_Watch me._

Loki's hand shot forward shoving the spear's tip into Coulson's back and straight through his chest. Loki heard Thor yell in dismay and outrage, a cry that mirrored his own silent one as he watched the brave, selfless agent slip off the spear and fall to the ground. The illusion of the Loki Phil had been facing, faded away as he did so. Then Loki simply walked past the fallen man, not even sparing him a second glance, grinning sadistically all the while.

Loki screamed, yelled, cursed, and even begged as he watched himself press the button that opened the hatch beneath Thor's cage, causing wind to whip through the room. He raised his hand over the button that would eject the cage into open air, but suddenly his hand hesitated as Loki fought with everything he could muster to stop himself, to take back control, to spare just one life from being taken.

To save his brother.

But it wasn't enough. It was just a brief hesitation. Then his fingers hit the button and Thor was gone. And Loki gave up, defeated.

"You're going to lose," Phil said softly, drawing Loki out of his silent despair.

"Am I?" Loki heard himself say sarcastically.

"It's in your nature," Phil said.

"Your heroes are scattered, your floating fortress falls from the sky, where is my disadvantage?"

"You lack conviction," Phil said, and Loki wondered if the man could see something in him no one else could.

Could he see, or perhaps sense, Loki's divided mind? The war being waged inside him? He surely didn't know the specifics of Loki's internal struggle, but perhaps Coulson could tell Loki's will wasn't completely in his actions. An involuntary shiver of wonder ran down Loki's spine as Coulson looked him right in the eye and seemed to see everything.

Loki heard himself start to speak but was cut off and sent flying by Coulson's weapon. When the blast from Phil's gun slammed into him, Loki welcomed the pain. He deserved it. He deserved to hurt. He deserved to die. He couldn't stop himself. He couldn't save anyone. He was too weak. Would that the blast had killed him, but, alas, it didn't even seriously injure him.

The next thing Loki knew, he was on board a jet, flying away from the helicarrier and toward Stark Tower.

**)()()(**

As he exchanged words and threats with Stark in his tower, Loki found that he rather liked Stark's wit. If the circumstances were different, Loki could see himself and the genius bantering and matching wits, and even possibly becoming friends. Unfortunately, the circumstances were not different and Loki wasn't this man's friend. Right now he was the enemy whether he wanted to be or not.

He was more than horrified to watch himself throw Stark out the window, grieving the loss of yet another life at his hand. However, his sorrow quickly turned to relief when Stark reappeared in the window, uninjured and dressed in his suit. It was rather strange to root for the people trying to take him down by whatever means necessary. It was even stranger to feel glad every time they managed to shoot him, or hit him, or just interfere with his plans. Perhaps he truly was going crazy.

When the rest of the team showed up, Loki was happy to see Barton with them. Happy to see he was once again in control of his own mind, free from the influence that had held sway over him. Now if the archer could just fulfill his desire to kill Loki, then perhaps the tortured Asgardian could finally be free as well.

**)()()(**

Perhaps the hardest part of the battle was having to fight his brother. Even with everything Loki had said and done, Thor still wouldn't give up on him. He was still trying to reach him, despite how Loki continually tried to kill him. Despite how Loki succeeded in hurting him, both physically and mentally, again and again.

With every hit and blast Loki's body sent Thor's way, the real Loki pounded at the barrier separating him from controlling his own body. He had had enough. He was either going to fight through the force binding him or die trying.

"Look at this!" Thor yelled. "Look around you."

With a monumental effort, Loki finally, _finally_, smashed into the force controlling him in one big serge with all of his mental strength and something snapped. Suddenly, he found himself in control of his body and mind.

"Look at this!" he heard Thor yell, and Loki looked around with a stricken expression at the destruction and chaos he had caused. "Look around you," Thor continued. "You think this madness will end with your rule?"

He was so surprised that he had succeeded in regaining control, that it took him a minute to speak and when he did, it wasn't what he had been planning to say. He had wanted to say so many things. He had wanted to beg Thor's forgiveness for his actions. He had wanted to tell his brother how much he cared for him. There was even a very strong part of him pressing at the back of his mind where the tesseract's power still lurked, that wanted to tell Thor just how much he hated him for the way he had laughed and bullied him when they were growing up.

But, as he opened his mouth to say the first uncontrolled words to cross his lips in weeks, what actually came out was something else entirely.

"It's too late," he said desperately. "It's too late to stop it."

"No," Thor said. "We can, together."

Loki found himself wanting to believe that, but then he felt his control begin to slip as the tesseract reasserted itself. He could feel his hand move unbidden to one of the knives he carried. He knew he had to do something quick. Just as he opened his mouth to warn his brother, the tesseract retook control. Loki was locked into the back of his own mind once more, forced to watch as his hand shoved a small knife into Thor's stomach.

'NO!' Loki mentally screamed and thrashed and railed against the tesseract's power but it did no good. He couldn't break through again.

"Sentiment," he heard himself whisper.

Then Thor was smashing him into the ground before Loki felt himself roll away and fall off the side of the building to land on one of the Chitauri gliders.

He was once again forced to watch himself kill and destroy, powerless to stop his own hands from hurting so many innocent people. He was actually grateful when Barton shot his exploding arrow and managed to knock Loki off his glider despite his hand catching the arrow before it could hit him.

He felt the explosion send him flying through the air before he hit something hard and found himself on the top of Stark Tower once more. The Hulk appeared out of nowhere and slammed him through the glass to land inside the Tower. Loki was silently cheering on The Hulk for taking him down. It was actually a strange thing to cheer someone on against himself, but seeing as Loki couldn't do anything to stop himself, he would cheer on anyone who could.

When he heard the tesseract make himself scream, "Enough," he actually wasn't sure if it was directed at The Hulk or at him.

"You are all of you beneath me." Locked in the back of his own mind, Loki actually mentally rolled his eyes at the words coming from his mouth. "I am a god you dull creature," the tesseract continued through him. "And I will not be bullied by-"

He hit the floor once, twice, three times. It paused for just a moment then he was slammed twice more before being left where he landed as The Hulk walked away.

He laid there, feeling a mixture of pain and shock. Pain, obviously from being slammed into the floor, and shock, because the tesseract was gone. He was in control again and there was no sign or feeling of the tesseract in his mind any longer. He was free. After so long, after everything that had happened, he was finally, completely, physically, and mentally free.

However, although the tesseract was gone, it had left chaos and confusion in its wake.

Loki's mind felt fractured into so many pieces, with each one feeling a different emotion. There was the part of him that was just so happy to be free, but it was dampened by the part of him that was horrified by the pain and chaos and destruction and death that had been caused by his hand. There was the part of him that wanted nothing more than to go home and see his family again, which was followed by the part of him that knew punishment and his family's hate was all that waited for him. However, all of it was greatly overshadowed by the part of him that was full of hatred for the lies and insults and torment his family had directly or indirectly caused.

The hatred was so intense. It was what the tesseract had enhanced and fed off of and then left behind for him to deal with. It was stupid and unfounded, but it was there all the same and it was at war with the rest of him.

Then there was the part of himself that was downright frightening. The part of himself that wished The void, or Thanos, or the Hulk or someone or something else had actually succeeded in killing him, thus putting him out of his misery. As soon as that part of him rose up, it was quickly matched by the part of him that was very scared by that.

**)()()(**

Suddenly, Odin's magic shifted the memories to one that actually wasn't Loki's but was just as relevant. It showed Selvig telling Natasha how to close the portal and save the Earth. The spear. The very bit of information Loki had figured out, had put together, and had managed to keep hidden from the tesseract and keep safe. The one thing that could stop Thanos and save an entire planet and the race upon it. The one thing that if Loki hadn't covered up, would have been discovered and done away with. And all hope would have truly been lost.

After this revelation, Loki felt sure there was nothing more to show everyone, but apparently the spell wanted to beat the information to death as it switched back to Loki one last time.

**)()()(**

It took awhile for Loki's mind to clear from the haze that had settled over it, whether from pain or the last lingering touch of the tesseract, he didn't know. But, eventually, his mind cleared and he began the slow and painful task of moving. In a scene that was eerily similar to his crawl across the crater on Thanos' planet, Loki slowly managed to turn over and pull himself to his hands and knees before painfully crawling over to the nearby steps.

He was just pulling himself up to sit on them, when he looked up to see The Avengers gathered around him and an arrow pointed at his head. Loki's tongue was now free. He could say whatever he wished, and yet he had absolutely no idea what to say, which was probably why something incredibly trivial, very much useless, and largely stupid came out of his mouth.

"If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now," Loki said.

"Wait," Steve said. He stepped forward and looked closely at Loki and the trickster could see the realization in the Captain's eyes. "His eyes are green."

"Okay. Duly noted. You like his eyes," Barton said.

Loki couldn't help but roll his eyes. The tesseract had thought that one was a good choice of ally? Loki froze at the thought. It was the kind of thought he never used to have about anyone, except perhaps those who had tormented him. But those kind of thoughts had become common ever since coming into contact with the tesseract's touch, on Asgard, over a year ago.

He had thought once he was free of it, his mind would return to how it had been, but it hadn't. Now he had so much anger and hate and spite in him, which he had never had before. What scared him the most, though, was he didn't know if they were things left behind by the tesseract or if they were thoughts and emotions he had always had and the tesseract simply brought them to the forefront. He desperately hoped it was the former and that they would dissipate soon, but something told him, despite where they had originated from, he wasn't going to be getting rid of them quite that easily.

"Before," Loki heard Steve saying and it pulled the Asgardian from his thoughts. "when he was on the helicarrier, they weren't green. They were blue." Steve moved his gaze to Clint. "A very familiar shade of blue."

"What are you trying to say?" Thor asked, and Loki would swear he heard hope in Thor's voice.

"I'm saying that I don't think he willingly did any of this. I think he was being controlled by someone, just like he controlled Clint and Dr. Selvig," Steve explained.

"Loki, is this true?" Thor asked, looking at Loki with such hope in his eyes.

Loki couldn't seem to bring himself to answer as shame burned through him. He couldn't stand the look in Thor's eyes so he looked away, focusing his gaze on the floor.

Out of the corner of his eye, Loki saw Thor's hand stretch out toward him.

"Brother," Thor said, and it had been so long since Loki had heard Thor call him that with such a gentle tone of voice, that he raised his head to meet Thor's eyes for a moment.

Loki was stunned to see no sign of pity or disgust or disappointment, and most of all, no sign of hatred in the eyes that met his. In fact, Loki saw understanding, compassion, and even love shining in Thor's eyes and it nearly dumbfounded Loki. He had been so sure there would only be hatred, and yet, there wasn't. For a moment, Loki was able to forget his dark thoughts, his anger, and his hatred. He was able to forget all the grievances he held against Thor and he reached out and took Thor's offered hand and let himself be pulled to his feet.

"Let's go home," Thor said, and in that moment, Loki had never heard sweeter words in all his life.

* * *

><p><strong>AN So now that we're all caught up and everybody knows the truth, what do you think is going to happen? Do you think Loki will be let off the hook? Do you think he'll be punished somehow? Do you think everything will be fine and dandy between him and his family? Do you think everything will fall apart? I would love to hear your theories! And be sure to come back Friday to get answers to some of those questions. :)**


	8. This is Where The Healing Begins

**A/N This chapter should answer a few questions and start giving you guys a bit of an idea where I'm going with the story for now. I really hope you guys will like what I have planned! :)**

**On a side note, I was talking (read: PM-ing) with _aliceindeepdarkwonderland_ and we were talking about the _Avengers: Age of Ultron_ trailer and somehow we went off on a bit of a tangent that resulted in a plot bunny attacking _aliceindeepdarkwonderland _and now she has started writing a _Hunger Games _and _Avengers _crossover story. There's only one chapter so far but it has turned out really good and I also know she has some good things planned for the story. So if you have a spare minute go to her profile and check out _The Marvel Games. _**

**On another side note, my friend _ImperfectIsPerfect _has written an _Avengers_ story that you might want to check out. There are only two chapters so far but it's already hooked me in and looks to be shaping up to be a good story. So if you have some extra spare time, go to her profile and show her some support by checking out her story _Quest for the Last Realm_. **

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! **

_**RossyGaray**_

_**aliceindeepdarkwonderland**_

_**Aka-Baka Hoshi**_

_**FanFictionQueen1**_

_**Ophelia Lokisdottir**_

_**ImperfectIsPerfect**_

_**Son-of-hiddle**_

_**evilunicorn11**_

_**RoxasGuyXIII**_

**This is Where The Healing Begins**

The throne room returned to stunned silence as the memories ended and the magic released the occupants.

Steve found himself glancing at his watch, surprised to see the time. Although it had felt like days or even weeks had been passing while they watched the memories, in the real world, apparently no more than an hour had passed. The spell must have compressed time and made the memories feel much longer than they actually were. Almost like a dream. A terrible, horrifying, heart-wrenching dream.

The shocked silence reigned for a long moment before the room erupted with low murmurings about everything that had just been witnessed. All of the people in the room were still in the same places they had been before the horrific, and equally amazing, memories had begun. Loki found himself returned to his position kneeling on the floor, never having actually physically moved from it. He felt as if he had been doused with a bucket of ice water as reality forcefully reasserted itself.

Loki had put a lot of effort into pushing down his memories, thoughts, and emotions. Shoving them as far back in his mind as he could and locking them away so he could try to ignore and forget them. But now all those memories and emotions had been grabbed and forcibly yanked to the forefront of his mind. As he knelt on the hard floor, shackles once more biting into his wrists, all he could see was his blood, all he could feel was the pain, and all he could hear were his own screams of agony mixed with the screams of others as they died at his hands.

He could feel a single tear rolling down his cheek and couldn't find the strength to wipe it away as he trembled slightly, not enough for anyone to see but it was still there.

In that moment, he felt like a man adrift in a raging sea, getting tossed and spun around. He desperately needed something to hold onto as the raging waters sought to overcome him but he could find nothing. That was, until his shackles were suddenly falling away and strong arms were pulling him to his feet and holding onto him. Loki wanted to push Odin away. He wanted to hate him. But at that moment he felt so much like a lost little boy who just needed his father to hold him. So, just this once, Loki allowed himself a moment of weakness as he wrapped his arms around the man he had always called father and returned the embrace. He trembled again and the arms around him tightened.

"Oh, My Son, what you have been through," Odin murmured sadly and Loki wasn't sure whether Odin was sad that Loki had had to go through that or if he was once more disappointed in Loki for being such a failure.

It really could have been either one, but Loki was almost betting on the latter. After all, Thor was who Loki was always compared to and Thor wouldn't have been so weak or so pathetic. Thor was _never_ weak, as Loki had been repeatedly reminded his whole life.

After a moment, Odin released Loki and turned him to face the crowd, effectively silencing all conversation.

"Let it be known!" Odin proclaimed, his voice echoing through the hall. "Loki Odinson is innocent of all crimes. My son has come home, and in two weeks time, there will be a feast in his honor!"

Before Loki could even think about concealing his shock, he had already jerked his head around to stare at Odin in surprise. It couldn't be that simple, could it? He was supposed to be punished, not let off the hook. Had Loki's memories really moved Odin that much? Could it be possible that Odin actually cared? Or was he once again playing some angle that Loki could not yet see?

Loki had no answers, and to be honest, which he so rarely was, he wasn't sure he really wanted to know.

The great hall was silent for a long moment, after Odin's declaration, before the crowd broke into cheers, the entire throne room reverberating with them. Loki wasn't sure whether the cheers and applause were genuine or not, but it felt good to hear them nonetheless.

"He is a Frost Giant! He doesn't deserve to be let off. He doesn't deserve to live! He should have been put to death years ago, not raised as a Prince of Asgard. He's a monster!" one of the old council members, who Loki recognized as one who had never liked him, suddenly yelled, stepping forward.

The silence that pervaded the room after the outburst was deafening. This was what Loki had been expecting, hatred and fear. He hadn't ever expected understanding or to be pardoned. He found it almost comforting to encounter something he had expected. Although the fact that he found someone yelling for his death comforting, probably wasn't a favorable indication of his mental state. However, Loki was no longer sure what constituted a favorable mental state for him anymore.

For a long, terrible moment no one moved, until Odin finally spoke, his eyes never leaving the councilman in front of him.

"Thor, clear the room and take Loki and your friends with you," Odin commanded.

"But Father-"

"Now." Odin said firmly, leaving no room for further argument.

"Yes, Father," Thor replied.

Loki studied Odin's face, trying to discern what the Allfather was thinking. Would Odin agree with the man? Praise him for his words? Loki knew Odin wouldn't defend him. He never had before.

Loki glanced at his mother. Surely she would stand up for him. She had always professed to love him. But with everything that had happened, after all he had done, would she? Some bonds could only stretch so far and if anyone could stretch one to the breaking point, it was Loki.

Once the Asgardian citizens had filed out, Thor grabbed Loki's arm, gently pulling him along as Thor ushered his friends out of the room. The large doors closed behind them, leaving Odin, Frigga, and the twelve Asgardian council members alone in the room.

Frigga was ready to jump to her son's defense and rip the little worm in front of her apart. But she never got the chance.

"Whatever else Loki may be, he is my _son,_ and that makes him a Prince of Asgard and you will treat him as such. If I ever hear you say another word insulting, belittling, or threatening toward _my son_, it will be the last you ever speak," Odin said in a low, deadly voice that made all the council members pale with fear and left the one who had spoken against Loki, all but trembling before the king.

Frigga fairly beamed with love and pride for her husband.

**)()()(**

After the throne room doors closed, the Avengers had congregated outside, talking quietly while they waited for someone to emerge. Loki stood apart from the group and few feet away, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He kept his gaze straight ahead, not looking at the group, but out of the corner of his eye, he could still see Thor shooting longing but unsure glances at him.

Thor wasn't the only one who wanted to talk to Loki. All of the Avengers kept glancing at the youngest prince. However, none of them knew how to approach the dark-haired man, nor what to say to him after everything they had seen.

Loki didn't have a problem with that at all. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to anyone, let alone his enemies and the idiot who he once called brother.

Loki closed his eyes, fighting to keep from growling in frustration as his thoughts once more turned caustic and cruel. He reminded himself that those feelings were left behind by the tesseract. That wasn't him. He ignored the part of himself that wondered _but what if it is?_

Before Thor could work up enough nerve to go talk to his brother, the throne room doors opened and Frigga stepped out. The group immediately fell silent and Loki straightened and turned to face her. His mind burning with the need to know if she had stood up for him, but his pride refusing to let him ask.

However, that didn't last long before he just couldn't stand it anymore. He _had_ to know.

"Did you defend me?"

He had intended for it to come out derisive or even indifferent but he mentally cursed his voice for betraying him as the question came out more as a hopeful plea.

"I didn't have to," she said sending a loving look at Odin as the Allfather stepped into the hallway.

Odin was wearing an expression of innocence that practically screamed that he had no idea what Frigga was talking about but Thor had never had to wonder where Loki had learned his skill for hiding his emotions from. That was why Odin had always been able to see through Loki's masks. But that also went both ways somewhat.

Loki had always been a bit more adept than most at seeing through Odin's facades. Whatever the youngest prince saw must have been good as Loki's stance toward his father relaxed a bit. It was very slight and most would not notice it, but Thor did and he knew something had improved, albeit slightly, between his brother and father.

Perhaps a bit of respect had been re-earned.

**)()()(**

The Avengers and Thor were all gathered in one of the spacious guest rooms in the palace. Natasha and Clint were sitting on a small but luxurious sofa, facing a coffee table. Steve was sitting in an armchair next to Clint's side of the sofa and Bruce was in another armchair across from them. Thor was standing, staring out the window, his back to the others, while Tony stood, leaning against one wall, his arms crossed and a contemplative look on his face.

Not long after Frigga and Odin had emerged from the throne room, Loki had disappeared to his chambers. Thor had wanted to go after him, but Tony could tell from the expression on Loki's face that he needed some space to think about things and had urged Thor to wait. Now the six of them were in Tony's assigned room and were discussing everything they had seen and discovered.

"Steve," Thor said, somewhat hesitantly as he turned from the window. "May I ask why you insisted on coming to Asgard? You didn't know then everything we now know."

"I wanted to help him," Steve admitted. "I didn't know everything but I was pretty sure he was innocent and I just... saw something in his eyes that..." he trailed off, trying to find the words.

Tony moved over to stand behind the chair Steve was sitting on and put a hand on his son's shoulder, squeezing it in silent support.

"I can just kind of understand him a little," Steve said, a bit of pain leaking into his voice. "Our situations weren't the same but he spent a year separated from the people he cares most about, and you all saw his memories. He wanted nothing more than to see his family again but he also never thought he would. He had lost all hope of that ever happening and for a year, he went through a living nightmare alone. I can understand what it's like to have your whole life ripped away from you, then go through terrible, traumatic things virtually by yourself. But I got a second chance and so did Loki. We got what most people never do and I don't want Loki to waste it, because if he does, I know he will regret it for the rest of his life."

Tony leaned down and hugged Steve from behind, a silent promise of love and support through whatever Steve was dealing with. Steve reached up and gripped Tony's forearms, sighing and relaxing slightly as his demons retreated just a bit at his father's touch. After a moment, Tony reluctantly let go and took a step back so he could lean against the wall but also stay near his son.

Steve wasn't okay. He had traveled through time, gone through war, and lost more than one friend before all but sacrificing his life and getting trapped in ice for seventy years. To top it off, he had had hardly any time to deal with it all. Steve wasn't okay, but really none of them were. All six of them were damaged. They all had things they were dealing with, but they also had each other. Loki was going through some rough things too but he didn't have friends to lean on, which was why Steve wanted to help him.

"He acts okay," Steve said, referring to the front Loki had put up, the same kind of front most of them wore to hide their wounds and baggage from others.

"He's not," Clint confirmed. "You don't go through something like that and walk away without being affected. Whatever act he's putting on, he's not okay."

Steve reached out and squeezed Clint's shoulder, knowing he wasn't just talking about Loki anymore.

"Is there anything we can do for him?" Steve asked, also not just talking about Loki.

"Just be there for him. He needs time and people who care."

"He's got them," Steve said. "You both do."

"Clint, I don't want to dredge anything up..." Bruce trailed off.

"It's all right. What do you want to know?" Clint asked.

"The pain Loki felt when he was taken over, was it that bad for you?" Bruce asked gently.

"No," Clint sighed. "It didn't feel good by any stretch of the imagination, but it wasn't even half as bad as Loki. It was more like an echo compared to what he felt. You know, I want to be mad at him. I want to hate him so bad, and maybe part of me does, but after seeing all of that, I don't know."

"Anyone would want to hate him after what was done to you. It may not have been him who actually did it but it was his face," Bruce said.

"But the funny thing is, I'm mad, but not really at him. I'm mad because I can't be mad at him. How stupid is that?" Clint asked with a self-depreciating laugh.

"It's not stupid," Tony said softly. "You want to be angry at someone for what happened to you, but the one person who you could be angry at, is innocent. So now you don't have anyone to hate."

"But it's irrational. I shouldn't be angry because I can't be angry," Clint said.

Tony pushed off the wall, walking over and putting his hand on Clint's shoulder as he crouched down in front of the archer.

"Take it from someone who knows way more than he wants to about anger. It's hardly ever rational and it hardly ever makes sense," Tony said. "But the important thing, and this is what you need to remember, is that it's okay to feel the way you do. There's nothing wrong with you and it's not stupid."

"I just hate feeling this way," Clint mumbled, trying hard to hide how vulnerable he really felt.

"I'm not going to lie to you, it's going to take time. But I promise you, you won't feel this way forever," Tony said, squeezing Clint's shoulder gently.

Clint stared at Tony for a long moment before nodding once.

"Thanks," he said quietly but gratefully.

Tony returned the nod and patted Clint's shoulder before standing up and moving back over to lean against the wall. The room was very quiet and it took Tony a minute to notice that most of the people in the room were staring at him with considering expressions.

"What?" Tony asked Natasha who seemed to be studying him.

"Nothing," she said. "Just... I can see it now."

"See what?"

"The father in you," she said. "I never noticed it before," she admitted.

Tony glanced at Steve. "I haven't needed it for a long time," Tony said quietly.

Suddenly Clint stood up and started for the door.

"Where are you going?" Natasha asked.

Clint paused and turned back to the group.

"I want to talk to him. I need to talk to him," Clint said.

Natasha started to speak but stopped and instead gave him a nod of understanding before he continued out of the room.

**)()()(**

Not long after Odin and Frigga emerged from the throne room, Loki was quick to retreat to his chambers. He didn't want to give anyone a chance to corner him and try to talk. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want to think. He just wanted to be alone. If he had thought his head was messed up before, seeing his memories played out in full had made it so much worse.

He couldn't believe he was currently sitting in his chambers, completely free. He had expected to be punished, to be in chains in the dungeon by now. He knew he deserved the punishment. He deserved anything they could do to him, except being set free. He didn't think he deserved to be able to kill and maim and injure people then get off without any consequences. Well, almost no consequences.

He quietly cursed Odin. How dare he force his way into Loki's mind and display his thoughts, emotions, and memories for all to see. He had stripped away Loki's last shred of privacy and dignity. He was no better than Thanos, but at least Thanos owned up to who he was. Thanos didn't pretend to care for and love Loki while everyone else was watching, only to turn his back on him as soon as they were alone.

What really bothered Loki, though, was that Odin had actually seemed sincere in the throne room after Loki's memories ended, and Frigga had indicated that Odin had stood up for him against the councilman. Maybe his father really did care. Maybe Loki's so-called death had changed him.

Loki let out a frustrated growl. His mind and emotions were all over the place, flipping back and forth between anger and hope, emotion and logic.

It was as if when the tesseract took over his mind, it caused a split. One part of him, the part that had been trapped in the back of his mind, was the part of him that loved his family, that cared about innocent lives, that actually wished to possibly become friends with the Avengers, the part of him that felt the guilt and haunting effects of his actions. It was the part of him that possessed love, kindness, and compassion.

The other part of him, the part that had been in control on Earth, the part that had been created then left behind by the tesseract, was made up of the emotions the tesseract had twisted and warped to manipulate him in the first place. Then it had fed off of those warped thoughts and emotions when it had taken full control. That part of Loki was full of hate and malice and something much worse, an enjoyment of other people's pain and death. That part scared him. It wasn't him. It wasn't who he was, and yet, it was there.

Loki was terrified that it would never go away.

He wanted to stop hating those he loved. He wanted to stop trying to hurt them. Above all, though, he wanted to stop feeling that small sense of satisfaction and enjoyment when he emotionally hurt someone or remembered the countless injuries and deaths he had inflicted. He wanted to stop _liking_ it, even if it was only a tiny part of him. He didn't want any part of his mind or soul to find satisfaction at others' pain.

Loki's thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. For a moment, he debated whether to let the person in or ignore them in the hopes that whoever it was would go away. As much as he wanted to be alone, though, his curiosity eventually won out and he bade the person to enter.

Loki wasn't sure whether to be happy, annoyed, or anxious as Frigga entered the room. Loki stood in silence just looking at her. She paused a few feet inside the room and looked at him for a long moment, a torn expression on her face. Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore and she ran forward, throwing her arms around him. Loki only hesitated a moment before returning the embrace.

"Oh, how I have missed you," she whispered.

"And I you," Loki admitted, at least part of him felt that way.

She finally pulled back enough to cup his face in her hands.

"My sweet boy. The pain you have been through," she said, looking into his eyes as tears flowed down her cheeks. "Would that I could have spared you from it. Would that I could take away the haunted look in your eyes."

"You can't," he said, gently pulling her hands from his face and taking a small step back. "No one can."

"But I can be here for you," she said. "I can make sure you know how much I love you, My Son."

Suddenly, Loki's anger reared it's ugly head once more as an old pain stabbed his heart.

"I am not your son," Loki said, the truth of it bitter on his tongue.

"I may not have carried you or given birth to you, but you are still my son and I am still your mother," she tried to assured him.

"You are _not _my mother!" Loki snapped, and immediately regretted the words as he saw the hurt flash across her face. "I'm sorry," he said as he turned around and rubbed a hand over his face, his feelings of self-loathing strong.

He was beginning to realize he was more angry at himself than at his family. The problem was, he couldn't figure out the reason he was so angry at himself and that frustrated him, which in turn caused him to take out his anger and frustrations on those who loved him, which caused him to be even more angry at himself and so on. It was a vicious cycle and it was driving him crazy, not to mention completely exhausting him. It probably didn't help that he couldn't really remember the last time he had eaten or slept.

"I just... I need time to figure some things out," Loki finally told her.

"I understand," she said, but there was still hurt in her voice.

Loki was about to say something to try to soften his words but turned around just in time to see the door close as Frigga left. He sighed and collapsed back onto the bed. Self-loathing seemed to be his most faithful friend these days.

A moment later, a knock sounded on his door and for a moment, Loki thought perhaps his mother had returned. Then he realized that was unlikely and he paused, unsure whether he really wanted to talk to someone else. But, ultimately, his curiosity won out again and he bade the person to enter, hoping this encounter would go better than the last.

Loki wasn't sure who he had been expecting, but Clint Barton was not at all the person he had foreseen walking through his door.

* * *

><p><strong>AN I'm not sure I really captured the characters all that well in this chapter. So please let me know what you think, even if you agree with me! :)**

**Next chapter we'll get to see Clint's and Loki's conversation. Do you think it'll go okay? Or about as well as Loki's conversation with Frigga did? Will Clint forgive Loki or put an arrow through his eye? You'll have to tune in next Friday to find out! Plus we'll also get to see a little more between Loki and his family and some of the fallout of everything that's happened between them. It's not going to be all rainbows and unicorns. Because with Loki, nothing can ever be simple or easy. :)**


	9. Common Ground

**A/N Wow! I'm not even sure how I found the time to get this chapter ready to post. School has been nuts this week and I had an uncle who died last weekend and the funeral was yesterday, so it was just one thing after another this week. But I did get it ready. However, it may not be as polished as usual as I didn't get to spend as much time revising it as I would have liked. Hopefully, you guys will still like it.**

**Once again, thanks to my reviewers. You guys are awesome!**

_**aliceindeepdarkwonderland**_

_**Son-of-hiddle**_

_**patty cake rocks**_

_**Ophelia Lokisdottir**_

_**FanFictionQueen1**_

_**ImperfectIsPerfect**_

_**RoxasGuyXIII**_

_**RossyGaray**_

**Common Ground**

Clint knocked on Loki's door softly and waited for Loki to respond. Clint figured Loki was debating whether to let whoever was knocking come in as it was a long moment before Loki's voice could be heard through the door telling him to enter.

Clint opened the door and stepped inside, noting the fleeting surprise on Loki's face upon seeing him.

"What do _you_ want?" Loki asked, covering his surprise with a scowl. "Come to blow me up with another of your arrows as revenge for taking over your mind?"

"I didn't come here to fight," Clint said, holding his hands up in surrender.

"I... apologize," Loki forced out, the words bitter on his tongue. "Then why are you here?" he asked, trying to make his tone at least slightly more civil.

"I... I'm not even sure. I guess I just wanted to talk," Clint said, shrugging and running a hand through his hair. He was beginning to think that maybe this was a bad idea after all.

"About what?"

Clint couldn't figure out if Loki truly didn't know or if he was just pretending not to. It was hard to tell with the trickster.

"You're the only one who knows. You're the only one who's been through it, who knows what it's like to..."

"Be unmade," Loki finished for him.

"Yeah," Clint said softly.

Loki sighed and dropped his gaze to the floor. He leaned back against the foot of his bed, letting himself slouch slightly beneath the weight of his exhaustion, both physical and mental.

"Do you hate me for it? For what I did to you?" Loki asked, looking back at Clint.

Where Loki's body language and expression had been closed and defensive before, it was now open and inviting. Well, open and inviting for Loki anyway.

Clint moved over next to Loki and also leaned back against the bed, staring straight ahead and not meeting Loki's eyes.

"I wish it was that simple. It would certainly make things easier. But it's not," Clint sighed. "It wasn't really you who did it. If you were the bad guy then I could hate you, you'd be locked up being punished somewhere, and that would be the end of the story. But you're not the bad guy. You never were. You're just another victim like the rest of us. Like me." The last two words were whispered so softly as to almost be inaudible but Loki just barely caught it.

"You said on Earth, that you wanted to hate me," Loki said but it came out sounding more like a question.

"But I don't," Clint said. "Not really, anyway. I saw your memories." The archer turned to look Loki in the eye. "I know you were glad I was free of the mind control. I know you didn't want that to happen to me."

"But?" Loki asked, hearing the unspoken word.

"But that doesn't make it go away," Clint said, looking away again. "It's... It doesn't make sense. It's not logical. I know you didn't actually do it. I know that it wasn't your fault, but it's hard to separate that from the memory of your face as the tesseract took over my mind. I feel angry but I can't figure out who I'm really angry at. Sometimes it's you, sometimes it's me, sometimes it's no one at all."

"And sometimes it's even those you care about most," Loki said, thinking of his angry words toward his mother.

"Yeah, it's more than a little confusing and frustrating."

"Believe me, I know," Loki said.

"Half the time, I'm not even sure if what I'm feeling is from me or not. Is it like that for you?" Clint asked, looking back at Loki.

Loki thought about lying. He thought about putting up a front of strength and bravado, but something stopped him. He never relied on other people. He had learned long ago that they would only ever let him down. He had long since learned to hide any weakness, any venerability. Those were things that others only ever exploited. And yet, for some reason, he found himself wanting to trust this midgardian. Perhaps it was because the archer had been through something similar. Perhaps it was because the man was truly the only person on Asgard who really did understand. Perhaps it was because Clint seemed genuinely open and honest, which lent itself to a certain feeling of trust. Whatever it was, Loki found himself telling the truth and hoping it didn't come back to bite him.

"Most of my emotions are at war against each other, and I honestly don't know which side is the real one, or even if one side is more real than the other," Loki admitted.

"Yeah," Clint agreed. "Sometimes it's like one set of emotions feels more like me than the other, then other moments I think they're all mine, then sometimes it's as if none of them belong to me," Clint said.

"And you can never tell which side you're supposed to feel," Loki added.

"It doesn't change what I'm feeling, but knowing someone else gets it... that some one else understands in a way the others can't, kind of helps in a way," Clint said. "Just being able to talk to someone and know they really understand."

Loki simply nodded his agreement.

"You know, we're here. Me, the other Avengers, your family. We're all here. Whether you want to admit it or not, you need someone, and we're here to help. Don't shut us out," Clint said.

Loki didn't respond but Clint hadn't really expected him to. Loki did look at him in surprise, though, as if the last thing the trickster had ever expected was for someone to offer him any kind of support.

Before he could really think about it, Clint reached out and squeezed Loki's shoulder. Neither one of them was really sure how it had happened, but at some point during their conversation, something had changed between them. They weren't friends, not yet at least, but they also weren't enemies anymore.

Wordlessly, Clint walked to the door and slipped out of the room, leaving Loki to his thoughts. Somehow they had found some common ground.

**)()()(**

That night, the Avengers were invited to have dinner with the newly reunited royal family. The team walked into the dining hall and saw that Thor, Odin, and Frigga were already there. Odin was sitting at the head of the table with Frigga to his left and Thor, as crown prince, to his right. Loki's place, as second prince, was to Thor's right but the younger prince wasn't there yet.

Clint had come back to the guest room after talking to Loki and told them in confidence about Loki's conflicting mindset. Thor had wanted to go talk to his brother that instant but Clint had counseled patience. He knew Loki was still dealing with his feelings and wasn't ready to deal with Thor yet, or the rest of his family for that matter. Clint had seen Frigga's tear streaked face as she went running past him from Loki's chambers earlier.

The archer had told Thor about it and he had immediately gone to comfort his mother, later confirming what Clint already knew. Loki's behavior was a bit all over the place, especially where his family was concerned and if he could snap at his mother, who according to Thor he had always been close to, then he was likely still very angry with his father and Thor.

So it wasn't much of a surprise to the Avengers when they entered the room to see that Loki hadn't arrived yet, and they couldn't help but wonder if he would show at all. They couldn't really blame him if he didn't, though. The five of them each took their places at the table. Tony sat next to Frigga, Steve next to Tony, and Bruce next to him. On the other side of the table, Clint left the chair next to Thor open and sat in the chair to the right of it and across from Steve with Natasha to Clint's right, across from Bruce.

They all exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes before Loki finally entered the room. He made it several steps into the room before pulling up short at the sight of the only open chair left at the table. Clint wasn't the only one to see Loki's expression darken for just an instant before completely closing off and going blank as his mask slid into place.

Clint glanced at Thor and could see that the thunderer hadn't missed it either. The archer knew he could get in trouble with his next action but he also could tell Loki was only a second away from turning and leaving the room altogether, so Clint decided to take a chance. His common ground with Loki made him want to help the trickster. Clint stood and slid over one seat, into the chair beside Thor, making sure not to meet any of the royal family's gazes and keeping his eyes on Loki.

Loki met Clint's gaze and the trickster's expression softened ever so slightly in gratitude before he glanced at Natasha and a slight bit of mistrust flickered across his face before he could hide it. Natasha caught it easily and looked across the table. Bruce looked ready to jump up and change seats with her but Natasha shook her head ever so slightly. If Loki wasn't ready to sit next to his family, then she didn't think he was ready to sit next to The Hulk's alter ego.

She knew Clint had gained some ground with the younger prince due to their shared experience but she and Bruce were still people on Loki's to-be-wary-of list. That left either Steve or Tony. Tony was the least threatening, not having any powers or special training, but Steve was such a kind, open type of person and was the one who had not only noticed Loki's eye color but had been the first to step forward and request to go with them on Earth, then spoke up for Loki in the throne room.

Out of the five of them, Clint and Steve seemed to be the best options for Loki to sit between. Natasha could tell that Steve had reached the same conclusion and she knew he genuinely wanted to help the dark haired prince. The super soldier sent a brief look at his father. Tony nodded his understanding, a look of pride in his eyes as he lightly squeezed Steve's arm before the young man stood up and moved to sit in the seat Natasha had just vacated. Bruce shifted over into Steve's vacated seat and Natasha took Bruce's previous seat.

Loki's face relaxed ever so slightly with relief and he easily moved forward and sat down, safely positioned between Clint on his left, and Steve on his right.

After the round of musical chairs, dinner was more than a little awkward. At one point, Tony glanced at Odin, Frigga, and Thor. Odin's face was mostly blank with his mouth set in a thin line, but whether he was angry or hurt by Loki's rejection, Tony couldn't quite tell. Frigga was obviously hurt but also understanding and not surprised at all. And Thor just looked sad and guilty, and a bit lost as to how to fix things between himself and Loki.

Loki barely spoke throughout the meal, focusing on the food he was eating and only speaking when he was directly asked a question and then in as few words as possible. He refused to make eye contact with his family and after a few minutes, no one really tried to engage him any more, giving him some space to eat and remain silent if he wanted to.

As soon as they were finished eating, Loki gave a mumbled excuse and left the room. Steve reached out and grabbed Thor's arm as the prince started to go after Loki.

"Give him some space," Tony said across the table. "It's his first day back. Let him have a good night's sleep and maybe things will be better in the morning."

Thor's expression was torn but he heard the wisdom of Tony's words and didn't follow his brother, although it looked like it took a great amount of will for him to do so.

Tony just hoped Odin and Frigga would do the same, at least for the rest of the night. Loki needed to hear from them eventually and sooner rather than later, but that night wasn't the right time. Loki had been through a lot and not just that day. He was hurt, confused, and overwhelmed. Tony had seen it in his face. He needed time, but he also needed people to lean on whether he wanted them or not. And Tony resolved that Loki would have that support.

Loki had a second chance at having a strong, loving relationship with his family, something Tony had never really had with his own parents, and the billionaire was bound and determined that Loki's pride and stubbornness wouldn't leave him bitter and alone. Tony had been down that particular road before and he wanted to spare Loki from that. And when Tony Stark wanted something, he usually got it.

**)()()(**

Loki woke the next morning feeling more exhausted than when he went to bed the night before. His sleep had been plagued by nightmares, flashbacks to his torture as well as his actions on Earth, but in his dreams, Thor and the Avengers each died, all by Loki's hand and he was powerless to stop himself. Then he had suddenly found himself on Asgard and watched as his hands took the lives of countless Asgardians before taking those of Frigga and Odin. Perhaps the worst part, though, was that every person he killed, died thinking he was some horrible, cruel murderer.

The dream had ended with a malicious and threatening voice echoing trough his mind as he stared at the dead bodies of his family, his hands dripping with their blood.

_You think yourself safe? None of them are safe and neither are you. You will kill them all. Then you will know pain. _

After that, Loki had woken with a strangled cry and sat bolt upright in his bed, shaking and panting as he wrenched himself free of the nightmare. That had been a few hours ago, and he had not even dared to attempt to return to sleep as the looks in his family's eyes as he robbed them of their lives haunted him, eyes that asked 'why?'

Now, feeling the need to get out of his room, Loki slipped out into the hall and ventured toward the dining area to eat breakfast. He wasn't particularly hungry yet, but it was somewhere to go. As he walked up the hall, he tried to push the nightmares out of his mind but it was easier said than done. He was so absorbed in his thoughts, that he nearly ran right into Steve Rogers.

"Whoa," Steve said, grabbing Loki's arm as they both pulled up short, just inches from colliding with each other. Both men stepped back a step and Steve let go of Loki. "Hey, you okay?" Steve asked the preoccupied prince.

"Yes, I'm fine. I should have been watching where I was going," Loki said, trying to brush the other man off but Steve was smarter than that. He was Tony Stark's son after all.

"You looked like you were thinking about something pretty hard. Anything to do with your family?" Steve asked, perceptively.

Loki blinked in surprise by the question, stunned as to how Steve had guessed his thoughts, but a second later, he relaxed as he realized the super soldier couldn't possibly know the details of Loki's thoughts. And there was no way Loki was going to enlighten the man about his nightmares.

"I don't see what business that is of yours," Loki said defensively, trying to cover his moment of unease.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to pry," Steve said, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

"No, the apology should be mine. That was rude and you are only seeking to help," Loki admitted reluctantly, rubbing the bridge of his nose, feeling a bit of a headache coming on. Fatigue had always made him snap easier and this time was no exception. But that didn't make it right. "It seems my _family_ occupies many of my thoughts these days."

"How are things going with your father?" Steve ventured, hoping Loki would open up a bit and not bite his head off again.

He knew how things were going with Frigga and Thor, both of which were not going very well, but Steve hadn't heard of any encounters good or bad between Loki and Odin.

"He's not my real father," Loki said stiffly, almost petulantly.

"Define real," Steve said.

"We do not share blood," Loki said as if it were obvious.

"Blood doesn't mean a thing," Steve said. "My father and his father shared DNA and that was about it. You and your father who you don't even share a single blood cell with, are closer than my father and his ever were. Biology makes people related but it doesn't always make people family. And it's also not the only thing that _can_ make people family."

Loki looked away, not meeting Steve's eyes.

"He loves you, you know," Steve said, causing Loki to scoff.

"Oh, I feel the love all right," Loki said sarcastically.

"Your father is a king. That means he can't show you love and affection the way other fathers can. It sucks, but that doesn't mean he doesn't show you he cares in the ways he can."

"What ways?" Loki asked skeptically.

"If you would stop pouting and open your eyes, you might be able to figure that out for yourself," Steve said, giving Loki's shoulder a pat as he passed the dark haired man, leaving him to think over the words.

* * *

><p><strong>AN So? What do you think? Please let me know! :)**

**Next chapter will be up Friday and there will finally be an encounter between Thor and Loki. How do you think it will go? Also, Loki will find a bit of a kindred spirit in one of the Avengers. Who do you think it will be? (Hint: It's not Clint this time). **


	10. Kindred Spirits

**A/N Thank you to everyone who reviewed and to those who offered me their condolences on the passing of my uncle. Thank you guys! It means a lot!**

**I got amazing news Friday evening that made my week end significantly better than I had expected it to. My favorite TV show _Forever_ on ABC got picked up for a full season! That doesn't mean it'll get a second season but it at least will have a full first season and go through May. Here's hoping and praying that it'll get picked up for a second season too! **

**Anyway, tangent finished. Now back to your regularly scheduled program. :P**

**An ode to my awesome reviewers: You guys are awesome! You guys rock! Your wonderful reviews leave me shocked... and completely, totally happy! (Yeah, I never said I was a poet :P). :)**

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**Kindred Spirits**

Loki returned to his chambers without having eaten anything. After Steve had left him, Loki had headed on to the dining hall, but the super soldier's words had circled around his head, preoccupying Loki further and ensuring his appetite remained elusive.

Loki wasn't sure what to make of Steve's comments. He couldn't figure out what the super soldier had meant when he said Odin showed his love in other ways. Loki thought back to all the things his father had said and done over the years but he could not remember his father showing him he loved him. All he remembered between himself and his father was judgment, punishment, and disappointment... on both sides.

Steve had made a lot of sense and yet, Loki found it hard to believe the words, even though he wanted to. At one point, he had come out of his thoughts to find himself wandering aimlessly through the palace halls and decided to return to his chambers rather than walk all over the palace and risk running into anyone else who felt like talking.

He had only been in his room for a few minutes, when a knock sounded at his door. Perhaps he should have continued his wandering after all. With a deep sigh, he called for the person to enter and had to stop a groan of exasperation from escaping at the sight of Thor.

"What do you want, Thor?" Loki sighed.

He was tired and on edge, which, in the past, had always resulted in his temper being short. Already, he could feel the irritation that often came with his encounters with Thor as of late, rising in him. He wouldn't be at all surprised if this conversation ended badly.

Thor pulled up short at the impatient tone in Loki's voice but didn't leave.

"I wanted to talk to you, Brother," Thor said.

"No, really? I thought for sure you came here just to stand in the middle of my room without speaking," Loki said sarcastically.

"Brother, please-"

"How many times do I have to tell you? I am not your brother," Loki said but his tone was more defeated than angry. He really didn't want to deal with this right now.

"You have been, and always will be, my brother," Thor said.

Loki simply scoffed.

"What?" Thor asked.

"All those years growing up, the way you treated me, and now you proclaim your undying love and loyalty," Loki said, his voice thick with disdain. "If I had known this would be the result, I would have gotten myself tortured and forcibly controlled against my will years ago," Loki said, the sarcasm reentering his voice.

"Brother, don't even joke about that," Thor scolded.

"I am not your brother!" Loki exploded.

"Yes, you are!" Thor insisted.

"Will you never stop fighting me?" Loki asked angrily.

"I will never stop fighting _for_ you, Loki," Thor said softly.

However, Thor's heartfelt words only seemed to stoke the fire of Loki's anger.

"When are you finally going to understand that I hate you!" Loki exploded. "I hate you! All of you! Why must you pretend that I don't? Why must you pretend that if you say you love me enough times everything will just go away and all problems will be solved? Why can't you just let me hate you? Why must you keep fighting me!"

If Loki was expecting a heated outburst from his rash and easily angered brother, he was greatly surprised when Thor kept calm and even spoke gently, if still passionately.

"I will never stop fighting foryou, Brother," Thor said again. "Even if it is you I must fight against. And no matter what, I will _never _stop loving you."

With that, Thor simply turned and left the room.

Loki stood, staring at the open doorway as his rage burned through him. Without warning, he spun around, grabbed the nearest breakable object, and hurled it across the room where it shattered against the wall. He stared at the wreckage, breathing hard and fighting the overwhelming urge to scream.

"Sounds like you've got some things to work through," Tony said, stepping into the room.

"What do you know!" Loki spat, rounding on him.

"I know what it's like to have your whole world ripped out from under you and turned upside down. I know what it's like to be angry. And I know what it's like to be sick and tired of being angry." Tony said, causing Loki to pull up short.

Obviously, that had not been the reply the trickster had been expecting.

"Your brother loves you, you know," Tony said.

Loki was a moment away from reminding yet another person that Thor wasn't his brother, but he let it go. He was too tired to put forth the effort.

"He claims to," Loki said.

"Which must be a lie," Tony said, his tone obviously saying he knew that's what Loki thought but did not agree himself.

"He claims to love me, but his actions speak much louder and truer," Loki said.

Loki knew Thor was just saying what he thought he should, what he perhaps believed. But in his heart, Thor didn't love Loki. Maybe once, long ago, but not anymore. Thor's insults, derision, and habit of ignoring Loki's opinions and advice had long since convinced the younger prince of Thor's true feelings.

"He's made mistakes. But guess what? Everyone does," Tony said.

"That doesn't absolve him!" Loki spat.

"I'm not trying to excuse him," Tony said. "I'm trying to explain him."

Loki clenched his jaw but didn't argue further.

"Yes, he's screwed up. More than once. He's done the wrong thing. More than once. He's been a young, hotheaded, ignorant, stupid, blind idiot. _More than Once_. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you," Tony said.

"If that's love, I'd hate to see loathing," Loki snorted.

Tony sighed, rubbing his forehead in exasperation. Loki was definitely stubborn and it was trying Tony's patience.

"He's changed."

"I know," Loki admitted. He had seen the difference in Thor himself. The elder prince had changed. Loki just wasn't sure to what extent.

"But?"

"But nothing. I can't argue with you. I've seen a difference in him myself. That doesn't mean he's changed enough."

"You don't trust him," Tony said.

"I used to. A long time ago," Loki admitted.

"Do you still love him?"

"Yes. No. I don't know," Loki said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "Part of me still cares about him and always will. But a bigger part of me is still too hurt and too angry from far too many years of pain. I will always care about him, but I don't know if I can ever trust him again."

"Once burned, twice shy," Tony said with a nod of understanding.

Loki raised an eyebrow in question. He was better than Thor with understanding Earth idioms but that particular one went over his head.

"Never mind. It's not important," Tony said waving it off. "Just... don't give up on him yet. You say actions speak louder than words. Maybe he'll prove you wrong."

"Perhaps," Loki said, sounding like he didn't believe it for a moment.

Tony sighed. Definitely beyond stubborn. "Not that you'll believe me, but I'm telling you, he does love you. A lot. And so does your father."

Loki scoffed, almost bursting into bitter laughter. "You might be able to convince me that Thor has changed and that he cares for me on some level, but I'll never believe that Odin sees me as anything more than a possible political advantage to be manipulated and exploited. I know Thor at least loved me once, whether he does now or not. Odin never has."

Tony crossed his arms and nodded, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"You know, my dad was good at a lot of things, being a father wasn't one of them," he said as he moved to half-lean, half-sit on the medium sized table in the middle of the room. "He wasn't abusive or anything, but he also wasn't ever there. He was always too busy with his company. And when he was around, nothing I ever did seemed good enough. He always wanted me to try harder, reach higher, be better. It's all well and good to push your kids to succeed but a little pride or some encouragement wouldn't hurt anything."

Loki glanced away from the billionaire but not before Tony saw the hurt and angry look in the trickster's eyes that matched the one that Tony had seen in the mirror more than once growing up.

"Then the guy had to go and die on me." Tony waved his hand in what was likely supposed to be a flippant and uncaring gesture but it didn't come off quite as apathetic as he intended. "For a long time I hated him for that." He pushed away from the table and started slowly meandering around the room, picking up, and looking at random objects before setting them back down again.

To most people, he would seem completely at ease, just carrying on a casual conversation and almost seemingly uninterested in what he was saying. However, people who wore masks could often see through them easier and Loki could see beyond Tony's mask to the pain that still lingered beneath, even after so many years.

"But then I met a woman and got married," Tony continued, "and for a while my anger was tamped down and overshadowed by happiness. Then she died too. I was angry at the world for taking her from me and I was even mad at her for dying, but I still had my son. Then I even lost him and once again I was so angry. I hated the machine that took him from me. I hated myself for building the machine. And I was even angry at Steve for not trying harder to change history and make it back to me."

Tony paused in his obviously (at least to Loki) nervous movements and stared out the window for a moment before looking away from the beauty of Asgard. The view didn't belong with the sorrow of which he spoke, the bright cheeriness of the city almost seeming to mock his painful story.

"Then to top it all off, I get taken captive by terrorists. But while in captivity I met one of the few people in my life I could truly call a friend. He saved my life, literally and figuratively, and he helped get me through Hell. Then the terrorists killed him and finally, _finally, _after so long of being angry at people who were gone, I was angry at people who were still here. At last I could take my anger out on the ones I was angry at, and I did. I shot them and burned them and blew them up. I escaped and made it back home, only to discover that a man I had once called friend had hired the terrorists to kill me and once again I could act on my anger. I fought him and killed him, and in the end I was called a hero."

He waved his hand in another careless gesture that was even less convincing than the first time.

"I killed the terrorists in self defense. I was trying to escape. I was trying to survive. It was necessary. Stane would have killed countless people and destroyed cities. It was justified. I was trying to selflessly save lives and protect people."

He paused for a long moment and took a deep, steadying breath. In the entire time of telling his story, Tony had avoided Loki's eyes, even as the trickster's gaze had stayed glued to him as he moved about the room. Now, however, Tony forced himself to turn and meet Loki's stare as they stood face-to-face, only about three feet between them.

"That's what everyone thinks anyway. The truth is, I wasn't trying to be selfless and do the right thing. I wasn't trying to be a hero. I was just angry. The problem with taking your anger out on others, though, is that it doesn't make it go away. If anything, it makes it grow and eventually, you run out of people to take it out on. Then you're left being angry with nowhere to direct it until you are just so tired of being angry but you don't know how to stop. It's so easy to get angry, to start hating. You can do it in the blink of an eye, but you can't stop that fast. It takes time to stop being angry."

"It's not as simple as you make it sound. There's more to it," Loki said quietly.

"Oh, I know. It's a lot more complicated being angry at people you love and it's a whole lot harder to _stop_ being angry at them too," Tony said, earning a surprised look from Loki as Tony hit the nail on the head. "The people we love are the ones who can hurt us the most. It can be hard to forgive them and even harder to trust them again, especially when you've been hurt repeatedly."

Loki looked away again, his jaw clenched as he held back emotions trying very hard to breach his control. However, Tony could tell that, for once, anger wasn't the predominate emotion running through Loki. Hurt and sadness had taken up that position, along with something else.

He stared at Loki for a long moment, studying the Asgardian. "You didn't sleep well last night, did you?" Tony said, noticing the circles under Loki's eyes and the fatigue that lined his face. "Nightmares?" he asked.

"More like flashbacks," Loki admitted with a tired sigh. He wasn't sure if it was the fatigue that was making him admit all of his feelings and weaknesses to members of the Avengers or if he really was starting to trust them, but either way, he found himself speaking first to Clint, and now to Tony with something that he hardly ever offered to anyone: honesty.

"Been there," Tony said. "Still am sometimes. Want to talk about it?"

"Not really," Loki said with a snort.

"Look, if for nothing else, on this I can promise, it does get better eventually. It takes a while, though. And even longer if you keep it all inside and try to go it alone."

"I can handle it," Loki said.

"That's what I thought too, but believe me when I tell you, you can't. For a while yeah. You can push it aside, ignore it. You can bottle it up and 'handle it,'" he raised his hands and made finger quotes in the air, "but it eats at you, and eventually you can't ignore it anymore. You can't hide it anymore. Just letting in one person, just talking to them or letting them sit next to you in silence and support you with their presence will make a difference. Even just having one person who knows you're not okay can help."

"I don't need help. And I certainly don't need to give anyone any more reason to think me-" Loki cut off before he could let the word slip.

"Weak?" Tony finished.

"I am not weak!"

"No, you're not," Tony said, deadly serious. "See, that's just it. You are not weak. You're stronger than most men I know. Someone truly weak wouldn't even be able to survive what you did, much less with their sanity intact. There's no question that you're strong. The question is, why won't you let yourself believe that?"

"What are you talking about?" Loki snapped.

"You say you're not weak. You snap it at people, scream it in their faces, and yet you don't say it because you're trying to convince them. You say it because you're trying to convince yourself."

"Unfortunately, not even I am that good of a liar," Loki said softly, dropping his eyes from Tony's.

"Fortunately, you don't have to be," Tony said. "I don't think you're weak. The rest of the team doesn't think you're weak. You're family doesn't think you're weak. Even Asgard doesn't think you're weak. The story of your memories has spread like crazy across the entire city."

Loki winced at the thought of everyone knowing all of his thoughts and memories. It was an embarrassing living nightmare that he preferred not to think about.

"Now, there are those, like that worthless council guy, who look down on you for it but they're only a handful compared to everyone else. Most of Asgard thinks you are remarkable for enduring and surviving what you did. What happened to you didn't downgrade you in their eyes, it earned you their respect and admiration. Now, you want to tell me why you keep biting Thor's head off every time he tries to talk to you?" Tony asked, throwing Loki slightly with the abrupt change of subject. "I understand that you don't trust him but that doesn't explain why you're so angry with him. And don't tell me it's because of your crappy childhood. Generally speaking, I'm a pretty smart guy and I can tell there's something else."

Loki sighed and sat down on the edge of his bed. He was silent for a long moment. He didn't talk about his feelings very easily or to just anyone. However, Loki got the impression Tony was similar in that regard, and yet he had just opened up to Loki. It must have been beyond difficult for the billionaire to do so and Loki could do nothing less than return the gesture in kind. Taking a deep breath, Loki decided to trust Tony, come what may.

"One second, I love my family. The next second, I hate them, and the second after that, I feel both at the same time," Loki admitted. "It feels like someone reached into my head, gathered up all of my thoughts and emotions, shook them all about until they were completely jumbled up, then left me to sort it all out. Half the time, I don't know if a thought or feeling is truly mine or if it is a leftover. It feels almost like I have a split personality. The part that loves and the part that hates and they're constantly fighting each other for control. Part of me wants to love them, part of me wants to hate them, and the other part of me just wishes I could chose one side and stick with it."

"You just need time to figure it all out. I mean, you didn't outright hate them before, right?" Tony asked as he sat down next to the trickster.

"Yes and no," Loki said. "A lot has happened since my fall. I've found out things. I've done things. For better or worse, I've changed. And besides that, not all of these emotions are just from the tesseract. The feelings of anger and resentment were all there before. I had just buried them. I don't know if I can bury them again."

"Maybe you won't have to," Tony said.

"What do you mean?"

"You were too busy not looking at anybody during the replay to notice the expressions on your family members' faces, but I did. Trust me Loki, after what they saw, I wouldn't be at all surprised if things start changing for the better around here."

"Perhaps with Thor," Loki conceded, "he does seem different enough, after all, and willing enough to make amends, but my fa- Odin... He'll never change. He can't even bare to face me. I suppose it's what I deserve."

"Loki, take it from someone who is a father, Odin loves you. I can see it, even if you can't. The problem is, he has no Asgardian idea how to show it to you. He knows how to be king. He can do that all day, but when it comes to connecting and relating to you, he's at a loss. You and he are so different. I've barely been around you two and I've already picked up on that. If he has seemed to favor Thor in the past, it's because he relates to him easier."

"That's not an excuse," Loki said.

"No, it's not, but it is an explanation," Tony said. "He's not sure how to tell you how he feels so he doesn't, thinking you know that he cares and it doesn't have to be said."

"That, as your son puts it, sucks," Loki said, causing Tony to snort at the sound of the very Midgardian word coming out of Loki's mouth before he sobered and nodded his head slightly.

"Yeah, yeah it does," Tony agreed.

**)()()(**

"Thor? You okay?" Steve asked, tentatively stepping through the open door and into Thor's chambers.

The eldest prince was standing, staring out the window, looking troubled.

"No, My Friend, I am not," Thor replied without turning. "I thought the worst of him. I thought him jealous, petty, cowardly, and weak."

"You couldn't know the tesseract was controlling and manipulating him," Steve said, moving to stand next to Thor.

"That's just it. I thought these things of him before the tesseract ever came into contact with him. I saw him as weak and inferior because his strength did not lie in physical force. I had my father's favor and praise so I knew he must be jealous. He enjoyed pulling harmless pranks on people for good-natured fun so I saw him as petty. And he decided to use strategy and intellect to minimize loss of life in battle by using illusions to distract enemies before launching sneak attacks, so I saw him as cowardly."

He sighed deeply, guilt etching his features and clearly weighing down on him.

"It wasn't until my banishment to Earth that I finally realized how greatly I had failed as his brother. Then I thought it too late. I thought my brother a spiteful murderer when he was actually being manipulated to someone else's will. And what he went through, so much pain, and to have his mind and body stripped away from him... How could I not ever have seen the strength he possesses? How could I be so completely blind to my failings and his great worth? I thought myself so far above him but I could not be any farther below."

Steve reached up and squeezed Thor's shoulder.

"I can't tell you that you were the best brother and that you shouldn't feel guilty or that you did nothing wrong. We both know those would be lies. You have your shortcomings and failings. We all do. We all fail ourselves and others over and over. But I don't think you should be quite so hard on yourself. The fact that you realize and acknowledge your failures means you've grown. You've learned from your mistakes and fortunately for you, you have what many people never get. You have a chance to make it right. Loki's not so lost to you that you can't get him back. It won't be easy but you can fix this. And maybe something good can come out of all of this pain and sadness," Steve said.

"I'm not so sure, Steve. For all my shortcomings, I have always loved my brother, but now he hates me," Thor whispered, a single tear glistening on his face.

"I don't believe that, Thor," Steve said. "True, he might be angry at you, but he doesn't hate you. You saw his memories. During all of that, even when he was being controlled by the tesseract, he still cared about you. If he hated you, he would have wanted to hurt you. But instead he fought as hard as he could to try to protect you. He still cares about you. He's just going through a lot right now."

Thor nodded, sincerely hopping his friend was right. Thor was a strong, brave warrior prince but he didn't know what he would do if he couldn't fix things between Loki and himself.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Okay, since reviews have been somewhat low, there will be no update until I get 20 reviews! Just kidding, guys! I wouldn't do that to you. I just couldn't resist. :P Please do let me know what you think, though. But even if you don't, the next chapter will be up Friday as usual. :)**

**Next chapter, Odin gets some sense knocked into him by one of the last people he would have expected and Loki and Thor have another encounter. However, this one may just end a bit better than the last one. Possible fluff ahead. You have been warned. :P**


	11. A Level of Understanding

**A/N Okay, so I have a question for you guys. Next week is Thanksgiving and it's going to be busy for everybody. Most people will be traveling etc. and probably won't have time for fanfic. Do you guys want me to wait an extra week before updating, instead of updating on Black Friday? Or update the Tuesday or Wednesday after Thanksgiving or something like that? I don't want to make you guys wait but with the holidays you probably wouldn't notice. Anyway, please review and let me know. **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I was so ecstatic! Last chapter got more reviews than any other. You guys really have no idea how much your reviews inspire and encourage me. So thank you! Your reviews, no matter how long or short, are important and special to me. :)**

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**A Level of Understanding**

Tony barged right into the throne room without so much as knocking. In the back of his mind, he knew he could get in big trouble for barging into the throne room without permission but like with most rules and protocols, Tony didn't give a crap.

"Can I speak to you privately?" Tony asked Odin, but the request came out sounding more like a demand.

Tony crossed his arms and held his head high. King or not, there was no way Tony was bowing to the guy, especially when Tony was less than happy with him to begin with.

"Can it not wait?" Odin snapped, clearly displeased with the lack of respect Tony was showing.

"It's about your son," Tony said.

Odin studied him for a long moment before motioning the other men in the room to leave.

"You're a coward," Tony said as soon as they were alone.

"How dare you!" Odin boomed angrily as he stood up from his throne.

"I dare because no one else will!" Tony yelled, not a bit afraid of the king's anger. "Your son has been back for almost two days and in that time you've seen him twice, barely spoken to him at those times, and not once have you sought him out. Your wife has spoken to him, we've just about had to tie Thor down to make him give Loki some space, and you haven't so much as knocked on his door."

"I am giving him, _space_, as you call it."

"You're hiding!"

"I am doing no such thing! I am a king and as such I have responsibilities-"

"Oh, don't give me that crap! You may be the king of Asgard but I'm the king of hiding from my problems and emotions, and I am telling you, if you keep going like this, you are going to lose him."

"What do you know of losing a son?" Odin demanded.

"I thought my son was dead for _five_ years. I thought I would never get to see him again and as soon as I got him back, the only thing I wanted to do was hold onto him and never let him go. Even now, that's all I want to do. You thought you had lost your son, emotionally and physically. For a year, you thought he was dead, then you thought him changed and irredeemable. Now you have him back in both respects and you're standing here hiding in your throne room? If Loki's memories showed me anything, it was that he loves you and all he wants is for you to love him. Now just tell me one thing," Tony said. "Do you love your son?"

"Of course I do," Odin said.

"Do you? Really?" Tony pushed.

Odin looked Tony right in the eye and spoke with conviction and sincerity.

"Yes."

"Maybe you should tell him that," Tony said.

"He knows I care for him," Odin said.

"No, he doesn't. He actually isn't sure whether you care about him at all or not. You can't let this go or you _will_ lose him," Tony warned. "Take it from someone who knows. It wasn't until a few years ago, long after my father was dead, that I finally knew for sure that he had loved me, but by then it was too little, too late. Don't let your son slip through your fingers, not when you have the ability to prevent it."

With that, Tony turned on his heel, not waiting for a response or a dismissal, and left the throne room without so much as looking back. The choice was up to Odin now.

**)()()(**

For several minutes after Tony left, Odin sat on his throne, thinking.

He had been a coward and it had taken a Midgardian to make him realize it. He didn't know how to talk to Loki. He never had. And every time a conversation between them didn't go the way Odin wanted it to (which was almost always) the king would default to anger, a strong, manly, and kingly expression of emotion. But all that ever did was stir up Loki's own anger, resulting in heated words and hurt feelings.

As many times as that had happened, Odin should have learned by now that it didn't work, but he kept doing it anyway because it was easier than trying to voice his true feelings to his son.

Stark had been absolutely right when he called Odin a coward. The king could ride into battle against a thousand men and never blink an eye, but he was afraid to talk to his own son.

Ever since Loki had been back, Odin had wanted to seek him out and talk to him, but the king had been afraid he would mess up the conversation as he always seemed to do. He was afraid of saying the wrong thing and pushing Loki even farther away than he already was. And if Odin was being honest with himself, he was afraid Loki would reject him outright before he could even talk to him.

Stark was right, though. If Odin continued on like that, hiding from what ifs, he would lose his son. Odin already knew what that felt like. He didn't want to feel it again. Finally, with a deep breath, the king stood up and started walking out of the throne room.

He didn't know how to talk to Loki, but he knew it was far past time to learn.

**)()()( **

Odin knocked on Loki's door and waited until he heard Loki bid him to enter. He opened the door and stepped inside. Loki looked up from where he was sitting at his desk and quickly schooled his features into a blank mask as he saw it was his father. Loki stood to face his father, keeping his stance tense and guarded.

"My Son, I would like to speak to you for a moment," Odin said.

"Are you sure you won't fall asleep again?" Loki asked scathingly.

"I do regret that. If I had not fallen into the Odin Sleep, perhaps we could have averted what happened."

Loki snorted and crossed his arms. "It wouldn't have made a difference. You saw my memories. Thanos maneuvered me to him. It was all part of the plan. I was just too weak to notice I was being manipulated."

"You are not weak. You were being controlled by a great power. If your memories showed me anything, it is just how strong my son truly is."

"What do you mean?" Loki asked, caught off guard by what sounded like praise coming from his father.

"There are many who could not have endured that level of power and remained sane. And yet, not only did you keep your sanity, you fought back against a force that was supposed to be all-encompassing. You managed to regain control, if only for a few moments, and you hid from Thanos the key to saving Midgard. If that is not enough, you also survived merciless torture and you never broke. They had to control your mind to get you to submit. You, My Son, are so strong and it is my fault that you've never felt that way. I never told you that you were strong. I never made you feel as if you were as good as your brother. I never let you know that I was proud of you. I ruled you as your king, but I failed you as your father. And for that, I am truly sorry."

Loki stared at Odin in shock. He had never heard his father talk to him like that. And he had certainly never heard the king admit to being wrong about anything. It was so blindsiding that, for a long moment, Loki simply stared, speechless, at his father as if he had never seen him before.

"Just know, no matter what I may have said or done in the past, I have always loved you," Odin said, before turning and walking out of the room, leaving a now twice shocked Loki in his wake.

It was everything Loki had ever longed to hear from his father and he wanted to believe every word more than he had ever wanted anything, but part of him had to wonder if it was sincere or if the All-Father simply sought to manipulate him. He hoped beyond hope that Odin had meant what he said and that this was a turning point for them, but Loki wasn't fool enough to just buy into it all. Time would tell if it was real or not. Until then, Loki was going to try very hard not to get his hopes up.

**)()()(**

That night, dinner was a somewhat better affair. It was still a bit uncomfortable but not unbearable. Loki still didn't sit in his normal seat, though. Loki arrived to a scene similar to the previous night. His family and the Avengers were already present but this time the Avengers had thought ahead. Clint was once again sitting next to Thor and Loki sat next to Clint, but instead of having Steve on Loki's right like the night before, Tony sat next to the younger prince while Steve sat across from his father with Bruce and Natasha to the super soldier's right.

Loki still didn't talk much, especially to his family, but he was a bit more vocal to Clint, Tony, and Steve. It was still less than ideal, but any improvement was a good sign. And although Loki still didn't stick around for very long after he was finished eating, he also didn't flee the room as if it was on fire.

**)()()(**

The next morning, Thor was standing in the throne room waiting to speak to Odin. He wanted to ask his father's advice about Loki but he couldn't find him. So Thor had decided to wait for Odin in the throne room, knowing his father would come back there eventually.

"My Prince?"

Thor turned to see a few councilmen enter the throne room and frowned in disdain as he saw that the one who had spoken to him was the man who had said such treasonous things against Loki the previous day. The man, Agir, if Thor remembered his name correctly, was older, on the shorter side for an Asgardian, and overweight with thinning white hair. He was arrogant and believed his age and position meant that he knew everything. He had been one of Odin's advisers for many centuries. He had fought in the great war against the Frost Giants and had been bitter and prejudice ever since.

Although he hadn't known before that Loki was a Frost Giant, Agir had always seen Loki as severely lacking. He had been one of many who looked down upon Thor's younger brother for many things, not the least of which was his fighting style. It never helped that from an early age, Loki had had a knack for showing up and embarrassing the councilman and did so often. However, in Loki's defense, Agir had always been the one to start it. Loki had just retaliated. A penchant Thor and his younger brother seemed to share in most situations. However, now that Agir knew of Loki's heritage, the man's dislike for the younger prince had turned into hate.

Thor knew that, as a prince, he didn't have to so much as answer the man but he decided to be polite. What was the saying Steve and Bruce said on occasion? Kill them with kindness? Well Thor wanted to kill him, but he knew that wasn't an option, at least not yet.

"I am waiting for my father. I need to speak with him," Thor said stiffly.

"Anything I can assist you with, My Lord?" Agir asked, showing the utmost respect, which just angered Thor further.

This fool called for Loki's imprisonment and death with one breath, and displayed the utmost help and respect to Thor with the next. It disgusted the crown prince. And yet, it hit Thor like a punch to the gut that this was not the first time something like this had happened. Loki had been shunned, looked down upon, and disrespected for most of his life while Thor had always had all the privilege, respect, and admiration from everyone. He had just been too blind and foolish to notice it before. Yet another of his woeful shortcomings when it came to his brother.

Thor forcefully pushed his anguish and guilt away for later. It wasn't the time or place to be dwelling on those things. Those were not thoughts or feelings that the councilman in front of Thor had any right to know.

"I must speak with my father. It concerns Loki," Thor said, trying to end the conversation before the urge to pummel the man became too much.

"Oh," Agir said disdainfully. "What's he done now?" he asked scathingly.

"My _brother,_" Thor stressed, trying to remind the man of his place, "has done nothing wrong."

Agir snorted. "That's debatable."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Thor asked, anger starting to creep into his voice.

"Don't tell me you have truly bought into that Frost Giant's lies."

"You saw his memories the same as the rest of us," Thor said. "He is not lying."

"Oh, yes. We saw memories projected by magic, from the mind of a master of magic. No, there couldn't possibly be any falsehood there," Agir said sarcastically.

"My brother is innocent!" Thor said forcefully.

"Innocent?" the councilman asked incredulously. "My Prince, your _brother_," he spat the word , "is many things. Innocent is not one of them. You saw what he did here on Asgard, then later on Midgard."

"He was being manipulated and controlled against his will!" Thor exploded.

"Oh, come now. Loki has always been a trouble maker and jealous as well. He could never live up to you so he sought to humiliate you with his tricks."

"While Loki has always had a love of pranks, he has never done any real harm nor has he ever intended any. And more often than not, when I would drag him on my adventures it was he who saved me, and indeed, even all of Asgard, from my recklessness and stupidity, usually ending up hurt for his trouble," Thor said, thinking back to all the times Loki had bailed him out of his messes.

Agir snorted again, making Thor want to smash him into a wall just to shut him up and wipe the smirk from his pudgy, arrogant face.

"Loki is a master manipulator and liar. It would not surprise me one bit if he had always been planning some elaborate takeover, nor would it surprise me if he were doing so again even now," the councilman said with a careless wave of his hand.

"How many times does my brother have to save my life, as well as all of Asgard, and even Midgard, at great risk to himself, before you will accept that he has no ill motives?" Thor asked, far past having grown tired of the useless conversation.

"Those seemingly good actions could all have been part of some elaborate plot."

"Any plot he could have, would be worthless if he were _dead_!" Thor boomed angrily.

"Exactly!" Agir yelled with an excited gleam in his eye at the prospect.

It was no secret that, although he had gotten better, Thor still often let his emotions get the best of him and this time was no exception. He swung his arm and backhanded Agir. The councilman was lifted off his feet and sent crashing to the ground. Thor towered over the dazed man, the blond's chest heaving with barely controlled rage.

"Thor!" Frigga cried in alarm, causing Thor to look up to see his Father and Mother standing in the doorway.

He spared them only a glance before turning back to the prone man.

"Next time it will be my hammer instead of my hand."

Thor turned and stormed out of the room, not even giving his parents a backward glance as his still overpowering anger drove him to seek solitude, preferably where he could destroy something.

Loki silently stepped away from the column he had been hiding behind, going unnoticed by those in the room, and followed Thor. Growing tired of staring at the walls of his room and feeling the need to escape his thoughts, Loki had ventured out once more in an attempt to clear his head and move around a bit. He hadn't had a particular destination in mind but as he randomly wandered the halls he had ended up passing by the throne room. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop but when he heard Thor's voice mention his name, he couldn't help himself.

He had silently slipped into the room and hidden behind a column just as Agir had asked Thor what Loki had done now. The younger prince's presence had gone unnoticed by the few people in the room who were focused on the conversation between Thor and the idiot councilman. Agir's words didn't bother Loki all that much. The younger prince had long since grown somewhat used to people like that. He had been dealing with them most of his life. It was new, however, to see Thor not only aware of that treatment, but acknowledging and reacting to it as well.

Loki had expected, at best, for his bother to brush off the man's comments as not important enough to comment on or maybe offer some weak defense of Loki simply because propriety demanded it. He had never expected Thor to actually stand up for him. It was one thing to hear Thor profess to have changed and to claim to be sorry to his face. It was quite another to witness Thor stand up for him when he wasn't around to see it (or so Thor thought). Loki had long ago learned that most people's true thoughts and intentions usually became clear when they thought they were alone or away from whoever they were trying to convince.

If Thor's words had just been an act, he would have no reason to keep up the pretense when he believed Loki was not around. The fact that Thor did defend him, added a level of validity to Thor's seemingly changed and matured words and actions. Could it really be true? Could Loki believe him? Trust him? A large part of the younger prince wanted to.

As Loki followed the angry Thor from the throne room, it took the younger prince only a minute to realize where his brother was going. Sure enough, Thor entered the observatory where he and Loki both had often gone to think growing up. It was where they had had some of their rare, brotherly moments when Loki had truly felt like Thor cared about him.

The observatory was a circular room, over half of which was floor to ceiling windows that let in bright sunlight. It overlooked the beauty of Asgard but was high enough over the city to still be private. Several bench seats dotted the perimeter of the room. Thor, however, ignored the seats in favor of standing in the middle of the room with his back to the door, staring out at the city with his arms crossed as he sought to calm his anger.

Loki stopped right inside the door and regarded Thor for a long moment, trying to decide whether he should ask what was on his mind, or simply return to his own room. At last, he decided things were never going to clear up, for better or worse, with his family unless he stopped hiding in his room and started talking to them.

"I see some things never change," Loki said softly, referring to Thor's choice of location.

Thor turned as he heard the familiar voice, pleasantly surprised to see Loki standing there and actually talking to him.

"This place has always been good for thinking, and..." Thor paused for a moment. "And it holds some of my fondest memories. Times when I was at least in part the brother I should have been. The brother you deserved."

"Oh, I don't know. I think you did a pretty good job today," Loki said with a shrug.

"You heard?" Thor asked, a bit embarrassed.

"Did you mean it?" Loki asked.

"Every word," Thor said, his embarrassment gone and complete seriousness taking its place. "Brother, I can never apologize enough for how I've treated you over the years. I failed you as your brother. But I swear to you, for all my failings, I have truly always loved you."

"It's hard for me to trust you," Loki admitted. "I know you've changed. I've seen it for myself, and part of me is proud of the man you have finally become, but old habits die hard and old hurts take time to heal," he said, allowing Thor some honesty.

"If I have to spend every day of the rest of my life, making it up to you and earning back your trust, I swear to you, Brother, I will," Thor vowed.

Loki stared Thor in the eye for a long moment, searching for any sign of falsehood. Thor met his gaze unflinchingly, imploring Loki to believe his sincerity.

Thor's words were the ones Loki had always dreamed of hearing and he wanted to believe him, but Loki's internal skeptic was reluctant to just take his word for it. However, as he held Thor's gaze, he found nothing but honesty in Thor's eyes. For a moment, Loki debated between holding onto his disbelief in an effort to keep himself from getting hurt, and letting himself believe that his brother was different and that he truly cared.

He surprised himself by just how much he wanted to believe Thor, just how much he had wished to hear those words. He had always longed for Thor's love and to be his equal, in Thor's eyes if not in anyone else's. Now, here was Thor saying exactly what Loki wanted to hear and he seemed to be sincere.

Loki wanted to dismiss it, to say something hurtful and to distance himself from Thor, to keep himself from possibly getting hurt again. Loki had discovered over the course of his life that the ones who could hurt him most were his family, Thor in particular who he had looked up to and aspired to be like for so long. The reason his family were the ones who could hurt him most, was because they were the ones who he loved most and in that moment he wanted to accept Thor's words so badly that he decided to let himself believe it.

"Okay," he said softly, giving Thor a slight nod of acceptance.

Thor's face lit up with a huge grin and he took a step toward Loki. When his brother didn't move and didn't reject him, Thor walked forward until he was standing directly in front of Loki. Loki held his ground, unsure what Thor was going to do but unwilling to push him away and go hide in his room again.

For a moment, neither moved. Then, suddenly, Loki found himself wrapped in strong arms as Thor hugged him tightly. Loki froze and tensed at the sudden contact but then relaxed and wrapped his arms around Thor, returning the embrace. Loki knew it could possibly lead to pain later, but for that moment, he decided to let himself feel loved.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Please review and let me know if you liked this chapter and if want me to update next Friday or wait a few days or an extra week. If you guys want me to update, which will be a feat in and of itself with all the homework I have plus the busyness of the holidays, you'll have to promise to review the next chapter and let me know that you read it and my update didn't go completely to waste. :P**

**Next chapter, dinner goes a bit better than it has been and there will be more Loki hurt/comfort with Thor and Loki brotherly fluff and feels.  
><strong>


	12. Stirrings of Trouble

**A/N Thank you guys so much for understanding about this being a bit late. This past week was crazy, but also good. I hope everyone who celebrates Thanksgiving had a happy one. If you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, then I hope you had a good Thursday. :)**

**This ended up turning out to be one of my favorite chapters so far, so I really hope you guys like it! **

**Thank you so much to every single one of you who reviewed! I was floored by the reviews I got. Last chapter got more reviews than any chapter so far. I loved them all and felt so happy and honored that you guys liked this story enough to take the time to review. Thank you! :)**

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**Stirrings of Trouble**

Loki straightened the sleeve of his jacket as he looked at himself in the mirror. He was getting ready to go to dinner for the third time since he had been home and this time he didn't feel like he was going to his execution. Even if everything fell apart later, for now, things were okay. Not great, not perfect, not quite even good, but better. For the moment things were okay between him and Thor, and Loki had a tentative truce with Odin ,so he was actually kind of looking forward to the evening meal.

As he looked into the mirror again, the memory of himself standing in front of the mirror the day the tesseract wave had hit him and everything had started coming apart, flashed into his mind.

_You will know pain._

Loki winced and reached a hand to his temple as a shot of pain stabbed through his head. But just as quickly as it had come, it was gone. That stupid dream. Even when things were starting to look up, Loki couldn't catch a brake as his dreams and memories haunted him every night, and his ever present bipolar emotions kept trying to switch to anger and hate. He was getting better at ignoring them and recognizing them as not being his true feelings. He was starting to be able to control them instead of them controlling him, but it still tried his patience nearly every waking second.

Shaking himself from his depressing thoughts, Loki resolutely turned from the mirror and put his troubles out of his mind. He wanted to have a good time that night and he couldn't do that if his mind was focused on all the things wrong inside his head. He just wanted to push aside that part of him for one night.

He left his room and headed toward the dining hall. Once again, everyone was already present and sitting just as they had the night before. Loki was actually looking forward to seeing his family's reactions to what he was about to do. He had thought it over as he got dressed and decided the take another step forward with his family. If he wanted things to get better, he had to start trying. Nothing would ever change if he simply sat back and waited for all his problems to magically solve themselves on their own.

Everyone looked up as he entered and approached the table without hesitation. He could see on everyone's faces that they expected him to sit in the empty chair between Clint and Tony, just as he had the previous night, but he surprised them when, instead of sitting down, he stopped next to Clint's chair, rested a hand on the archer's shoulder and leaned over to whisper in his ear. Clint listened for a moment before looking at Loki with a bit of surprise before nodding, a smile spreading across his face. Then Clint slid over into the empty chair to his right.

Loki pulled back the empty seat next to Thor, the seat Loki, as second prince, was supposed to sit in, and slid into it. Loki watched out of the corner of his eye, a small smile curving up his lips at the surprised, but pleased expressions on his parents' faces and Thor's beaming smile, which lit up his whole face. Loki glanced to his right, looking past Clint to Tony. The billionaire met Loki's gaze and gave him a single, approving, and, Loki would swear, proud nod, a small smile on his face. Loki ducked his head slightly at the silent praise but enjoyed it nonetheless.

The rest of the dinner went fairly well. Loki actually talked and interacted with the rest of the people at the table and didn't seem irritated or angry toward his family. It still wasn't perfect. There was some tension and a slight walking on eggshells feeling between the members of the family as if they all only had a fragile truce and none of them wanted to mess it up. On the whole, though, it was a huge improvement from the two previous nights, the main reason being that everyone involved was actually _trying _now, instead of just sitting there hoping things would get better.

After dinner, was even better. This time Loki didn't immediately leave. He stuck around and interacted with everyone. He had much warmer, if still a little distant interactions with his brother and Loki and Odin seemed to be on good, if not overly familiar terms. Their encounters were stiff and tinged with unease and distrust but at least no fights broke out between them and they remained civil throughout the entire night. Loki seemed a bit warmer toward Frigga, even taking her to the side at one point to apologize for his harsh words to her.

Things weren't fixed with the royal family but they were most definitely on the mend. Loki even interacted more with the Avengers. He was most comfortable around Clint, Steve, and especially Tony as he had found confidants, friends, and common ground with these men. He was still a bit wary and uneasy around Natasha but he was starting to get somewhat used to her quiet, threatening presence. And he was still trying to figure out what to make of Bruce, who seemed shy and awkward, but very kind, all the while possessing inside of him the giant green beast that had succeeded in smashing Loki into the ground.

Part of the trickster was grateful to Bruce for that, as he had freed Loki from the tesseract's hold and he told the scientist as much. But another part of him was wary of the Hulk, knowing what the beast could do to him. Even though Loki was on decent terms with Banner, that did not mean the Hulk wouldn't smash him to dust the next time they met.

At one point, Tony found himself standing off to the side near one of the walls, watching those in the dining hall talk and carry on. Steve and Clint were talking about something that Thor clearly was not understanding. Natasha was quietly talking to Bruce about something, and Loki and Odin were having some kind of conversation that seemed to be going somewhat well if the expressions on the father's and son's faces were anything to go by.

"They seem to have worked through some of their grievances."

Tony turned at the sound of the voice to see Queen Frigga come to stand next to him.

"Your Majesty," Tony said, inclining his head.

So far he had seen nothing in Frigga to make him dislike her. In fact, he had some amount of respect for her. It was obvious she truly loved her sons and wanted to help them in any way she could. She actually reminded Tony a bit of his own mother, a woman who cared for her son and gave him the love and support that his father never had. And besides all that, Tony had to respect her for being able to not only survive, but manage to raise two sons like Thor and Loki. The lady deserved a medal, or a crown.

"Please, call me Frigga," the Queen said, pulling Tony back out of his thoughts. "You are a friend to both of my sons. There is no need to be so formal with me." She gave him a bright smile that looked so much like Thor's that Tony knew where the thunderer got that particular trait from.

"Frigga," Tony said with an answering smile. "Yeah, I'd say it's a start. They're still not too sure about each other but it's a step in the right direction," Tony said, turning back to look at Loki and Odin.

Tony suddenly found himself being hugged by the Queen of Asgard. Not many things could surprise or dumbfound Tony Stark, but having the Queen of another planet reach out and hug him, definitely caught him off guard. She only held onto him for a moment before pulling back and looking at him, gratitude shining in her eyes.

"I know you talked to them. I don't know what you said, but it helped. Thank you," Frigga said, her eyes shining with tears of joy.

It was the best terms Loki and Odin had been on in years and she knew it was due to whatever sense Tony had managed to knock into them.

"I know what it's like to be both of them," Tony admitted with a shrug, trying to brush off her thanks. He hadn't really done anything, just told them what they needed to hear. "I know what it's like to just want your father's love and pride but never feel like you're good enough, and I know what it's like to not know how to let people know you care and to be afraid to. I also know what it feels like to lose a son and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. They have a rare opportunity at a second chance to have a real father-son relationship and I don't want to see that go to waste because of pride, pigheadedness, and stubbornness."

"You are a wise man, Tony Stark. I care not what your friends say about you."

"What do they say?"

He caught sight of her smirk and the glint in her eye and shook his head. He was being teased by the Queen of Asgard. Things couldn't get much weirder.

"I'm beginning to see where Loki gets his penchant for mischief from," he grumbled.

Frigga's only response was to laugh outright.

**)()()(**

Loki had hoped that such a good, positive evening would ward off his nightmares. Unfortunately it didn't. The dream started out much like it usually did. He was back in Thanos' prison, chained to the floor, his blood spattered around him. He was tortured by Thanos, much as he had been in reality. Then the scene shifted to Earth where he succeed in killing the Avengers, one by one painfully, mercilessly torturing people he had actually started calling friends.

Then he was on Asgard and did the same to his family. What truly sickened and horrified Loki, though, was that he was not under the tesseract's influence. He was doing it all of his own free will and he _enjoyed _it, laughing maniacally as he tortured and killed people he loved. Then he watched in glee as Asgard burned around him.

He felt the burning agonizing pain in his mind and sensed the tesseract's power as it took hold of him, not even allowing him to writhe in agony at the pain that gripped him. The scene shifted again and he was on that floating asteroid once more, looking at The Other as the creature gripped the side of Loki's face and agony ripped through his mind from the touch.

_You will know pain._

Then he was back on Asgard again, still laughing as everything burned. After a moment, he glanced down and his smile froze on his face as he caught sight of his hands. They were not his normal pale white but they were not the blue of his Jotun heritage either. They were purple. He quickly spun around, panic driving the manic glee and insanity away, leaving him horrified at his actions and sickened by them. He looked around frantically until he saw a discarded silver breastplate lying nearby.

He ran over and picked it up. As he did, it changed from a polished breastplate to a mirror. Loki looked in abject terror at his face. It was no longer his normal pale appearance, nor was it his Jotun countenance. No, this was much much worse. His face was still his, still the same bone structure and shape, still topped with his black hair, but his skin was purple and there was an evil glint in his eye. He looked like...

"Thanos," he whispered in horror.

He had turned into Thanos, the same skin, the same malicious and cruel expression.

_You will know pain._

"NO!" Loki screamed, sitting bolt upright in bed.

Frantically he looked down at his hands, seeing normal, pale skin. He threw his covers off and lurched out of bed. He all but fell over himself in his haste to get to the mirror. There, in the dim light, he could see his face, still pale and completely normal. He fell to his knees before the mirror, reaching up to touch his face, to assure himself that it was indeed still him and not Thanos.

His hands trembled in the mirror as he lightly touched his face. He was shaking all over and it wasn't until his trembling hands brushed over his cheeks, that he realize silent tears were rolling down his face.

Loki didn't know how long he had been kneeling there, shaking and crying, before the door opened. A shaft of light appeared in the room and the shadow of a person fell across Loki.

"Loki?" the concerned voice asked and Loki slowly looked to see Thor standing in the doorway.

At the sight of Loki's tear-stained face, Thor didn't hesitate to step into the room, closing the door behind him. He quickly came to Loki's side and knelt down next to him. It wasn't the first time Loki had woken screaming from a nightmare. He had had many when they were growing up and Thor had comforted him more than once.

The difference now was that Loki had good reason to have nightmares. He had good reason to feel fear, and more than enough material to spawn the dreams. This wasn't some childhood fear or insecurity. This was memories of horrors endured, coming back to haunt Loki. Thor didn't think about whether Loki might rebuff him, as instinct and habit took over. Just as he had done in years past, Thor wrapped his arms around his younger brother and felt Loki cling to him, his slight frame shaking in Thor's arms.

"I'm sorry," Loki choked out. He wasn't sure what for, he just was.

"It's all right, Brother," Thor whispered, holding Loki tightly as he buried his face in Thor's chest and trembled again.

It had been several years since Thor had had to comfort Loki after a bad dream but it was something he hadn't forgotten how to do. However, it was much easier to assure someone that it was just a dream when that was all it was. It was different when the dream originated from very real memories and experiences. Those weren't as easily chased away. Thor knew that first hand.

The dreams he had had of Loki falling into the void had haunted him for months afterward and even still did from time to time. At least now when he woke, he knew that his brother was not dead. He hadn't had that kind of relief during the year after Loki's fall.

Back then, Thor would dream of his brother's death and wake up only to face the reality of those dreams. But now Loki was alive, if broken and hurting. Thor tightened his hold on his brother, for his own sake as much as for Loki's.

For several minutes, the two brothers knelt there on the floor, holding on to each other. Finally, Loki pulled back and wiped his face.

"I'm sorry I woke you," he mumbled, not looking at Thor as shame washed through him.

"I do not mind, Brother. Truly," Thor said. "I would rather be woken and be here to comfort you than for you to have to endure this alone."

Loki looked at him for a moment, gauging his honesty and seemed to accept that Thor really didn't mind having his sleep interrupted and having to comfort Loki from his bad dreams.

"Well, this brings back some memories," Loki said, trying to lighten the mood and change the subject.

"Yes, but this time I cannot tell you they are just dreams. This time they come from your very real memories, do they not?" Thor asked softly.

"Fine time to grow perceptive, Brother," Loki said, wishing Thor was a bit more oblivious so Loki could brush the dream aside, claiming it to be nothing. Loki hadn't meant for the words to come out harshly but the flash of hurt on Thor's face told him they had.

Thor started to pull away, thinking Loki wanted him to go, but Loki reached out and caught Thor's hand, stopping him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out like that," Loki admitted. " I just..."

"I understand, Brother," Thor said, reaching out to gently grip Loki's neck, the hurt in Thor's eyes disappearing. "Do you wish to speak of it?" Thor asked gently.

Loki hesitated for a long moment before words started tumbling out of his mouth.

"You were all dead. Your friends, you, Mother and Father. I killed all of you with my own hands and I laughed. I enjoyed it. All of you died thinking me the horrible, cruel monster that I am," Loki said, his voice growing softer as he spoke and he turned his head away from Thor.

Thor gently turned his face back, forcing Loki to look at him.

"You are not a monster. You are my amazing, and beloved brother. You did not kill us, you saved us. We are not dead, we are alive and we are here," Thor said before pulling Loki back into his arms.

Loki clung to him, letting the words wash over him and drawing comfort from Thor's strong, steady, and very much alive presence.

"You don't understand," Loki said after a moment, pulling back to look at Thor. "I _am_ a monster. You saw in my memories how I truly look, under this," he held out his white hands then turned to look at himself in the mirror, reaching up to brush his fingers over his pale cheeks.

"Can you change to it at will?" Thor asked, referring to Loki's Jotun appearance.

Loki felt his heart freeze. He knew it was too good to be true. Thor didn't really care about him. He didn't really want to reconcile. He was just curious.

"Yes," Loki replied hesitantly.

"Would you?" Thor asked.

He just wanted to look at Loki like some creature he had never seen before and tell him how monstrous and disgusting he was. Loki felt the hurt rise up in him and quickly covered it with anger.

"Why?" Loki asked, turning back to Thor. "So you can look with fascinated horror upon the creature you once called brother! The ferocious Frost Giant! The monster of all the childhood stories we were told!" Loki snapped.

"Please," Thor said softly.

'Might as well get it over with now,' Loki thought.

If he was going to endure Thor's disdain, he would rather not drag it out. However, that didn't mean he had to watch the disgusted hatred appear on Thor's face. Loki focused his eyes on the floor as he concentrated on the magic surrounding himself. He pulled back the instinctual magic and the blue began to creep up his hands and arms. A moment later, Loki felt the last of the illusion slide away as the blue covered his face.

He waited for the sounds of horror and distaste, waited for the hate filled words, but they never came. Instead Thor reached out and put his fingers under Loki's chin, gently raising his face up. Loki let his chin come up but kept his eyes down, refusing to meet Thor's gaze.

"Loki, look at me," Thor said gently, and it was that gentleness that had Loki looking up to meet Thor's eyes before he could stop himself.

"You know what I see when I look at you?" Thor asked.

'A Monster. A creature not worthy to be in Asgard, much less a prince. Not even worthy of life,' Loki's mind supplied, but his mouth said something else.

"What?" he asked in a small voice.

He braced himself for Thor's response, but apparently not well enough as Thor's words blindsided him and left him speechless.

"I see you," Thor said. " I see the person I grew up with, who I played with, who I have loved all my life and always will. I see my brother."

Loki stared at him in astonishment. His mind and emotions whirling. His eyes dropped to look at his blue hands. Then, slowly and hesitantly, he turned his head to look at his face in the mirror. Red eyes and ridged, blue skin met his gaze. Next to him, Thor also turned to look at him in the mirror so that their faces, blue and white, were side by side in the reflection.

Loki's and Thor's eyes met in the reflective glass and Thor reached out to gently caress Loki's face, resting his hand against Loki's cool blue cheek. Loki studied the emotions in Thor's eyes and saw no disgust, no revulsion, and no distaste at having to touch him. All Loki saw was love and acceptance.

"This visage is a part of who you are. Do not fear it and do not be ashamed of it. I'm not," Thor said.

Loki turned back to Thor and stared at him as tears began to roll down his face. Thor truly didn't care what he looked like or what blood ran through his veins. For all of the hatred and scorn Thor had held for Frost Giants all their lives, now, looking at Loki's blue skin and red eyes, all he saw was the brother he loved.

Thor gripped the back of Loki's neck and gently pulled him forward to press his lips to Loki's blue forehead. Loki felt strong arms wrap around him and he buried his face in Thor's chest and felt some of the pain, fear, and self-loathing lift from his heart.

"I love you, My Brother," Thor whispered. "And I am here for you, always."

The tears that flowed freely down Loki's face had nothing to do with his nightmares and he tightened his hold on Thor. Perhaps Stark had been right. Just letting one person in helped so much.

After a few minutes, despite his aversion to going back to sleep, Loki felt his fatigue pull at him and his eyes closed of their own volition as he leaned against Thor.

Thor felt his brother relax against him and gently slid his arm beneath Loki's legs to lift him up and carry him to his bed. Thor tried to ignore how alarmingly light his brother felt in his arms. Loki's captivity had taken so much from him. Thor laid Loki down and covered him up. He looked down at his brother for a moment before gently running his hand over Loki's, once more, pale cheek.

"Sleep well, Brother," Thor whispered.

He turned to leave but was again stopped as a hand grabbed his. He turned back to see Loki looking up at him sleepily.

"Stay?" Loki asked groggily, a bit of fear of what might come in his dreams lacing his voice.

Thor didn't even hesitate, his heart soaring at Loki letting him in, asking him to stay, and seeking his comfort. It was what Thor had longed for ever since he discovered Loki was still alive. He loved his brother dearly and to have that love returned was everything to him. It had been years since Loki had asked Thor to stay with him after a nightmare and Thor found he had actually missed it. Thor liked being needed and Loki hadn't needed him for a long time, until now.

Loki tiredly scooted over, giving Thor room to lay down beside him. As soon as Thor was settled, he raised his arm and wrapped it around Loki's shoulders as his younger brother curled into his side, promptly falling asleep against his older brother. Thor couldn't help but smile and tighten his hold ever so slightly. Maybe they could be okay again. And maybe, just maybe they could be better than before.

With that hopeful thought in mind, Thor also drifted back to sleep, a small smile still on his face.

* * *

><p><strong>AN I couldn't help it. After all the angst and emotional pain, I just had to write some fluff. I love Loki too much to keep torturing him... for now. *insert evil laugh here* Ahem. Anyway, please review and let me know if you guys like fluff or if I should go back to all the angst and emotional torture. :)**

**Next chapter, Loki's life is finally looking up, but in Loki's experience, just when things start looking good is usually when everything falls apart. The next chapter will be a lighter, fluffier one than most of the chapters thus far. I'm giving Loki and you guys a break from some of the angst. However, enjoy it while you can. Things won't be rainbows for long. Something is looming on the horizon and it bodes ill for our favorite trickster. :)**


	13. A Taste of Friendship

**A/N I think we're right around the half-way mark now. I hope you guys are thinking "Yay! There's still a lot more to come" and not "Half-way! This story is never going to end!" :P**

**Anyway, here's a light little chapter showing some friendship between Loki and The Avengers. I hope you guys like it! :)**

**Thank you so much to my reviewers! I know I say this a lot but it's because it's true: You guys are seriously awesome! **

_**RossyGaray**_

_**Aka-Baka Hoshi**_

_**Son-of-hiddle**_

_**Ophelia Lokisdottir**_

_**aliceindeepdarkwonderland**_

_**ImperfectIsPerfect**_

_**maliha1205**_

_**RoxasGuyXIII**_

_**SwimmerGirl0726**_

_**OkieDokieLoki**_

_**OncomingStorm21**_

**A Taste of Friendship**

For the first time in what felt like forever, Loki woke up actually feeling refreshed. The remainder of his sleep had been peaceful and dream free. As he returned to consciousness, he was aware of feeling warm and comfortable, almost like he was laying next to a fireplace. As he opened his eyes and the memories of the night before came back, he realized why. He was still laying curled against Thor who was practically the definition of a portable heater.

Thor's arm was still around Loki holding him close even in sleep and Loki felt truly safe for the first time in a long time. As much as Loki would have liked to stay there in that feeling of safety and contentment, he knew he couldn't just sleep the day away. He started to sit up but found that the hold Thor had on him prevented him from being able to move.

He reached up and grabbed Thor's wrist and tried to move his brother's arm off of him but the still sleeping Thor simply tightened his hold, pinning Loki down.

"Thor," Loki said patting him on the chest. "Thor, wake up and let me go."

Thor, always having been a sound sleeper, only stirred before growing still again. Loki huffed in exasperation and went to plan B. This wasn't the first time something like this had happened and Loki knew how to wake his brother when he needed to. Taking a deep breath and hoping Thor didn't hit him in reaction, Loki wiggled around until he was able to get his other arm out from under himself and turned it so that his elbow was aimed at Thor's side. Then Loki sent a hard jab into Thor's ribs.

Fortunately for Loki, Thor didn't hit him. Unfortunately for Loki, Thor grunted and jerked away from Loki's elbow, snatching his arm up slightly in the process. In doing so, he moved his hold from Loki's shoulders to his neck, accidentally yanking the smaller man's neck with his arm as he jolted awake.

Loki let out a strangled yelp at the arm encircling his neck. Thor looked around bleary as Loki squirmed and tried to pull Thor's arm away from his throat.

"Thor," he forced out. "Let. Go," he gasped.

Thor realized what he was doing and quickly relinquished his hold on his younger brother who sucked in a deep breath and coughed as his poor windpipe sought to funnel the air into his lungs.

"Brother, I'm sorry," Thor said.

"It's fine," Loki said, waving him off. "I knew the risk of waking you like that while you still had a hold of me. I know better."

"Are you all right?" Thor asked.

Loki rolled his eyes good-naturedly at Thor's concern.

"Yes, I can handle a little strangling from you, Brother," Loki said. "I've had enough practice."

Loki's light, teasing tone brought a smile to Thor's face and even elicited a chuckle from him.

"Now come on. We don't want to be late for breakfast," Loki said.

Thor was instantly up and heading toward the door at the prospect of food.

"I'll be back in a few minutes and we can go together?" Thor asked.

Loki nodded and Thor beamed at him before slipping out the door. Loki shook his head and chuckled at his brother. Some things truly never changed.

Loki got up out of bed and started going about changing his clothes. A small smile remained on Loki's face as he went about his routine. He felt good for the first time in a while. He had slept well and things were actually good between him and Thor. Everything was finally looking up.

Loki had just shrugged into his black jacket when a spike of pain shot through his head and he pressed his fingers to his temples.

_You will know pain._

Loki's smile disappeared. It seemed that he couldn't escape completely. Every time things started to look good again, his memories and fears had to reassert themselves. Loki froze as a chilling thought struck him. What if it wasn't just his memories? What if it was real? A growing dread took hold at the thought. Thanos was still out there. Loki knew that. And the titan had promised retribution if Loki failed. Could he be reaching out to Loki? Could the phrase that kept recurring be a current threat rather than a remembered one?

Loki thought about it for a long moment. He searched his mind for any kind of presence or influence but found none. His memories did contain that phrase and it didn't seem any different from other memories and flashbacks that Loki had. There was no evidence, other than Loki's fear of Thanos coming after him, that suggested the voice was anything but another lingering memory haunting Loki's mind.

He decided he was being silly and overly worried. He was letting his dreams get to him. If Thanos was going to come after him, surely he would have already. Loki pushed the silly thought to the back of his mind, determined to not let his fears and memories get the best of him. However, he wasn't stupid enough to dismiss it completely. He would keep his guard and awareness up. He would not be manipulated or taken by surprise again. If Thanos was coming, he would be ready.

**)()()(**

Not ten minutes after Thor left, Loki heard a knock at his door.

"That was quick," Loki mumbled in surprise. Thor never got ready for anything that fast. "Come in," he called as he straightened the lapel on his coat.

He heard the door open and turned, but didn't see Thor as he had expected. Instead, to Loki's surprise, Bruce Banner stood just inside the doorway. Loki waited for Bruce to speak but the scientist simply shifted uncomfortably. He looked like he wanted to say something but didn't know how to phrase it.

"I thought you were Thor," Loki said to break the silence.

"Oh. Sorry. I can come back later," Bruce said, reaching for the door handle.

"No. No. It's fine," Loki said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at Bruce's unease.

For someone who possessed an invincible beast within himself, the doctor sure was nervous and uneasy surprisingly often. If anyone should be uneasy in this situation, it was Loki. After all, Bruce wasn't the one who had gotten slammed into a concrete floor repeatedly.

"Did you need something, Doctor?" Loki asked, hoping the question would help Bruce get to the point of his visit.

"I... wanted to talk to you," Bruce said, rubbing the back of his neck as if whatever he wanted to talk to Loki about was a sensitive subject.

"You talked to Thor," Loki guessed.

Bruce looked at him in surprise. "Uh, yeah. We passed in the hall and he kind of... mentioned something."

"So what comprises your 'living with a monster' speech?" Loki asked.

Bruce looked at him in surprise again.

"My brother did tell you of my nightmares, did he not?"

"Don't be mad at him. He's just worried about you," Bruce said, hoping Loki wouldn't think Thor was betraying his trust.

"Don't worry, Doctor. Thor has always been one to talk through his problems. I knew he would likely tell his friends. If I had a problem with it, I would have told him to keep it to himself."

"So you don't mind us knowing?" Bruce asked.

"I have enough problems without causing more for others. If it helps Thor, then he can tell you whatever he wishes."

"That's very noble of you."

"And I am not capable of such?"

"No. No. That's not what I meant!" Bruce said quickly, realizing how his words sounded. "I just meant..." He trailed off, trying to find the words to phrase it correctly. "Recently, you two have been a little... at odds?" It came out sounding more like a question than a statement.

"You're right," Loki conceded, "but things have gotten better. And despite our differences, I have always cared for my brother, even when I wished I didn't. I do not wish him harm or distress. So if speaking about me helps ease his mind, so be it. Besides, he trusts all of you. The five of you have been good for him."

"We're all good for each other," Bruce said with a shy smile. He had never been very good at taking praise of any kind.

"So, that speech?" Loki asked. "I'm interested to hear your wisdom on living with the monster within," his tone was sarcastic but not mean. It came out more teasing than anything.

Fortunately, Bruce picked up on his levity, and didn't take offense.

"Honestly, I don't know," the scientist laughed softly. "I'm still trying to figure that out for myself. You don't need that speech, though."

Loki scoffed and looked at Bruce dubiously, thinking the man was joking. However, Bruce had turned suddenly serious, and Loki's grin faded.

"Monsters take many forms," Bruce said. "Some are easy to see. Many are not. Most monsters in the world look just like everyone else."

"I suppose I fall into both categories, depending on which skin I'm wearing," Loki said, his tone self-depreciating as he glanced at his pale hands.

"Take it from someone who is a monster, Loki, you're not one. Thanos is a monster. The Chitauri were monsters. You're not."

Loki looked back at Bruce in surprise, but the scientist was already moving toward the door.

"You're not either," Loki called out.

Bruce pulled up short in the doorway but didn't turn.

"Take it from someone who has seen more than his fare share of true monsters, you are not a monster, Doctor. And neither is your Hulk."

The room was quiet for a moment before Bruce turned slightly, meeting Loki's eyes and holding the gaze for several long moments as something, a level of understanding or perhaps acceptance, passed between them.

"Call me Bruce," the scientist said. Then he turned and was gone from the room.

"Thank you, Bruce," Loki said softly to the empty room.

**)()()(**

Twenty minutes after Bruce left, Thor was back in Loki's room. He noticed his brother seemed to be in deep thought about something but when he asked about it, Loki brushed it off as unimportant. After that, Loki had seemed to brighten as they walked to the dining hall to eat breakfast so Thor decided to let it go for the time being.

Once there, they saw that the other Avengers, even Tony who usually liked to sleep in, were already there and were eating and talking.

"Hey, Sparky, Reindeer Games," Tony called, "good to see you, have a seat." He motioned to a couple of empty chairs next to him.

Loki took the seat to Tony's right and Thor sat to Loki's right, at the head of the table. On the other side of Tony, sat Steve, and Bruce sat across from him with Natasha on his left and Clint next to her and across from Loki. Thor and Loki each grabbed some food and started eating, joining in the conversation with the others.

Before long, Tony leaned over to Loki and spoke softly so only he could hear.

"Things seem to be going better with your family," Tony said.

"Yes, thanks in large part to you," Loki said.

"Glad things are looking up for you, Reindeer Games," Tony said with a smile.

"Why do you keep calling me that?" Loki asked, loud enough that the others heard him.

"What? Reindeer Games?" Tony asked.

Loki nodded.

"A reindeer is an animal with big antlers that we have on Earth," Steve explained. "I guess it's kind of like a stag."

"I call you that because of your helmet," Tony said.

"Cow," Thor said as he started laughing.

"Feathers," Loki shot back.

"Feathers?" Bruce asked.

"Thor's helmet has wings that flare out on the sides," Loki replied.

"Now I'd like to see that," Clint said with a chuckle.

A mischievous glint appeared in Loki's eye and with a wave of his hand, a large, silver, winged helmet appeared on Thor's head. Thor reached up and pulled the helmet off his head to see that Loki had greatly exaggerated it, the wings much larger than they actually were.

"That's not at all how my helmet looks and you know it," Thor said to his brother.

"It's how it looks to me," Loki said.

"You need your eyes checked, Brother. I fear you are going blind," Thor said.

"You're the one who chose it," Loki said, getting rid of the exaggerations on the helmet and returning it to it's normal appearance with a wave of his hand.

"Just as you chose yours," Thor replied.

"I think you both have no taste," Natasha said, making everyone chuckle.

"She's got a point," Tony said.

"Says the man who flies around in bright red and gold armor," Loki shot back, causing silence to fill the room as everyone looked at Loki in surprise.

Loki was beginning to think he had crossed some kind of line when Tony started laughing, Steve quickly joining in, followed by everyone else.

"I think I'm going to like you after all, Loki," Natasha said. "Anyone who can give as good as he gets when it comes to Tony Stark is all right in my book."

"I think there was an insult toward me in there but I can't quite put my finger on it. Should I be insulted?" Tony asked no one in particular.

"If you wish, I can insult you so that you can be sure you're supposed to be insulted," Loki offered.

"Yep, I'm definitely going to like you," Natasha said.

"Yeah, I think you're going to fit in just fine, Reindeer Games," Tony said, patting Loki on the back.

"Fit in?" Loki asked.

"With us," Tony said, "as our friend."

"I am your friend?" Loki asked, and it was almost heartbreaking to hear the hope in his voice.

"Well, yeah," Tony said.

"Of course you are," Steve agreed, the others around the table nodding their agreement.

"I've never really had friends before," Loki said.

"You've never had friends? At all?" Clint asked.

"Not real ones anyway," Loki admitted with a shrug. "I mean, there were the warriors three and Lady Sif but they are Thor's friends. They only ever put up with me because I'm a prince and Thor's brother so they had to. This is the first time I've really had friends, friends that actually want to be my friend and not just Thor's or because of my status."

"Well, that's..." Bruce trailed off.

"Depressing," Natasha said.

"Well, you've got us now and we're your friends because of who you are, not who you're related to," Steve promised.

"Thank you, Captain," Loki said sincerely.

"Call me Steve. Friends don't use titles," Steve said.

"Steve," Loki said with a nod and a smile. "I can do that."

"Feel free to call me Wonderful, Genius, Master Stark," Tony said.

"I'll be sure to do that, Tony," Loki said without missing a beat. "Oops, I seemed to have slipped. Old habits, you know," Loki said.

"I think he's going to be good for us," Bruce said with a chuckle. "We need someone who can handle Tony without making him worse," he glanced at Clint who tried to look innocent, "or wanting to kill him," he glanced at Natasha who was fingering her gun as she often did when Tony irritated her.

"I believe Friend Tony and my brother will get along splendidly," Thor said. "Or kill each other."

"Well, we've already tried the latter. Why don't we give the former a try?" Tony said, and everyone hesitated for a moment at the reminder of Loki's actions on Earth, waiting to see Loki's reaction.

"I promise not to throw you through another window if you promise not to blast me again," Loki said, holding out a hand to Tony.

"Deal, Rudolph," Tony said, shaking the proffered hand as he and Loki both chuckled in amusement.

"I do apologize for that, by the way," Loki said, referring to throwing Tony out of the window.

"Not your fault," Tony said. "Besides it made me look really cool."

Loki wasn't the only one who rolled his eyes at the billionaire.

"So I hear you like pranks-" Tony began.

"No!" Natasha, Steve, Bruce, Clint, and Thor all said together. The thought of Tony and Loki teaming up for pranks was a very scary thought.

"We'll talk later," Tony stage whispered.

"I'm sure you will," Natasha said as she studied the gun in her hand, the click of the safety being turned off echoing through the room and causing everyone, except Tony, to laugh.

After that, the atmosphere remained light and relaxed as the seven friends talked and joked while finishing up their breakfast.

Loki laughed and talked with his new friends, enjoying himself and feeling happy, content, and accepted for the first time in... perhaps ever. However, Loki's laugh at one of Tony's jokes cut off and he winced as pain shot through his head.

_You will know pain. _

"Hey, Loki, you okay?" Steve asked.

"Yes, I'm fine, Steve," Loki quickly assured him with a pleasant smile, pushing his worries and fear to the back of his mind.

More and more he was beginning to think it wasn't simply a memory. It felt more like someone intruding on his mind for a brief moment. Loki knew he should tell someone that he thought Thanos was touching his mind and possibly coming for him, but things were finally starting to go good for the trickster. He was getting along with his brother. Thor was treating him better than he had in years and Loki finally had friends who truly cared about him. He didn't want to ruin it and he didn't want to put his problems off on anyone else.

If Thanos really was coming, he was coming for Loki. It was Loki's fault. Thanos was his problem and no one else's. The trickster could clean up his own messes and take care of his own problems. Loki would deal with this himself.

An image from his nightmares of the dead, lifeless eyes of The Avengers and the royal family flashed through Loki's mind, making his decision for him.

As he sat there smiling and acting like nothing was wrong, he silently vowed he would keep his family and his friends safe no matter the cost. Loki would give his life before he let his nightmares come true.

* * *

><p><strong>AN And there we go. A bit lighter than previous chapters. Let me know if it was all right. Things won't be so light forever. It seems something is going on. However, is it really Thanos? Could it be someone else? Or is it all just in Loki's head? **

**Next chapter, The Warriors Three and Lady Sif make an appearance. What do you think will happen? Something good? Something bad? Something somewhere in the middle? Feel free to theorize! :)**


	14. The Beginning of an Old Friendship?

**A/N The torture known as "Finals" is over and the semester is finished! I am so excited. Now I can finally start thinking about Christmas and my writing! :D**

**I apologize if this chapter isn't as good as some of the others. I had finals all this week and it's a miracle you're even getting a chapter on time. **

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! Seriously, you guys got me through one of the most stressful weeks I've had in a long time. So thank you! **

_**RossyGaray**_

_**OkieDokieLoki**_

_**ImperfectIsPerfect**_

_**aliceindeepdarkwonderland**_

_**Ophelia Lokisdottir**_

_**maliha1205**_

_**Son-of-hiddle**_

_**thewriterstory**_

_**anastacianott**_

**The Beginning of an Old Friendship?**

Over the next couple of days, Loki spent a lot of time with Thor and the Avengers but also had some interactions with his mother and father. Things with his mother were quickly returning to normal. Things with his father were still awkward and stiff but they were amiable enough and the two of them were slowly but surely finding their footing with each other. In time, they might even have a true father and son relationship. It didn't hurt that, after Thor told Odin what Agir had said about Loki, Odin had promptly striped the councilman of all rank and holdings and banished him from Asgard. The king had been so enraged that he almost sentenced the councilman to death for his treasonous words. However, Frigga, despite her desire for much the same, knew that a councilman's execution wouldn't go over well with the general public, so she convinced Odin to simply banish the man forever instead.

During the day things were great for Loki. He got to know his new friends better and spent more time with Thor than he had in years. Ever since Thor's display with Agir and the episode with Loki's nightmare a few days prior, things had been almost perfect between the two brothers. Loki was even starting to believe that life could actually be good and that it wasn't all going to just fall apart and disappear at any moment. He finally stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop. That is, during the day.

Nights were a different story. His nightmares came every night without fail, different scenarios but always including the deaths of those he loved and ending with that same threat, or rather, promise.

_You will know pain._

Sometimes he woke Thor with his screaming, after which the thunderer would comfort him and stay with him the rest of the night, both eventually falling asleep and sleeping peacefully till morning. But most of the time, Loki didn't wake Thor and those nights Loki didn't dare go back to sleep.

Loki had always been the type to seek out comfort and nurturing from those he loved, that was one reason he had been so close to his mother. While Thor was always strong and independent, needing no help or comfort from others, Loki had always craved nurturing words and hugs and Frigga had always been willing to give them. Although Thor never really needed comfort himself, there had been times when he had been willing enough to give it. Those times had been few enough over the years that Loki had craved them all the more.

So when Thor would awake to the sound of Loki's screams and come to his room to offer comfort, Loki, still in the grip of his horrific nightmares, would gratefully accept it, like a man wandering the desert suddenly being handed a glass of water.

However, when Loki awoke in the night but did not succeed in waking Thor, he did not go to Thor's room and seek him out as Thor had told him to do if he needed anything at all. Loki didn't want to wake Thor. He didn't want to be a burden. Things were finally going good between them and Loki didn't want Thor getting tired of Loki's constant problems and neediness. And quite frankly, Loki's pride would not allow him to do that. It was one thing to accept comfort when Thor was already there and offering it. It was another to go to Thor's room, wake him up, and tell him he had had a bad dream like a five year old. So as much as Loki wished for his brother's presence, he stayed where he was, sitting up in his bed, his knees hugged to his chest and his head resting on them as he trembled and silently cried alone in the dark until dawn finally came.

And when the morning came, he washed away the signs of his distress, put on a mask of calm composure, and never let anyone see the truth. That by day he was fine, even happy at times, and by night he was slowly falling apart.

**)()()(**

He was dreaming of _him_ again. Phil Coulson. The courageous man who gave all to try to stop Loki. The man who saw the truth in him before anyone else. The man he had stabbed through the back and whose blood coated his hands.

Loki jerked awake with a sharp cry. The book he had been reading before he dozed off, flew from his chest and onto the floor.

He calmed down as his surroundings finally registered and the dream, or rather, memory released him. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath. After a moment, he shook himself from his emotions, trying, and failing to push the nightmare from his mind.

Obviously sleeping during the day wasn't any better than at night. That would teach him to doze off again. He was just so tired. He reached down to pick up his book but startled slightly as the door burst open. Natasha leaped into the room. She landed in a defensive crouch and scanned the room for threats.

"My apologies. I didn't mean to alarm you," Loki said from where he still sat on the edge of his bed.

Natasha studied him for a moment but relaxed her tense stance.

Loki didn't meet her eyes, too busy looking at his hands, which were coated in blood only he could see.

Natasha nodded slightly to herself. She knew exactly what he was going through but until he asked for help, it wasn't her business. After a moment, Natasha sighed softly before turning to leave.

"How do you live with it?" Loki murmured.

Natasha paused, turning around slightly, an eyebrow raised.

"The blood on your hands," Loki clarified.

She turned to fully face him, crossing her arms and looking him in the eye.

"You acknowledge that there is nothing you can do to change it. Then you do everything you can to make up for it. To counterbalance it."

"I'm not sure it works that way," Loki said honestly.

"No. But you didn't ask how it works. You asked how I live with it."

With that, Natasha turned and left the room, leaving Loki to figure out how to cope with the red in his own ledger.

**)()()(**

It had been nearly a week since Loki had been home and the two princes still hadn't gotten around to showing the Avengers around the palace. Finally the two brothers gave their new friends the tour before heading out into the city to let them see more of Asgard and meet its people. Loki had been apprehensive about facing his people for the first time since his fall, but agreed anyway as Thor and the Avengers insisted it would be fine and that the people truly did respect and admire him.

He had been skeptical, but sure enough, his friends had been right. As he and the others wandered through the streets, he had more than one person come up and tell him they were glad he was all right and that he was back safe and sound. Of course there were those who looked at him disdainfully, as there always would be, and even some who looked at him fearfully. However, many were genuinely glad to see him and it caught Loki so off guard at first that his silver tongue had failed him and Tony had actually had to come to his rescue. After that, Loki was able to graciously accept the praise and well wishes, still reeling from surprise but feeling a warm glow in his chest.

He had never wanted the glory or the cheers that Thor had always enjoyed. All he had ever wanted was acceptance. Now he was finally getting it and it felt so much better than he ever imagined it would.

_You will know-_

Loki squelched the thought before it could continue. He wasn't letting his doubts and insecurities ruin this for him. He was done defeating himself. And if the thought wasn't from himself then it was from Thanos who Loki was even less inclined to let bring him down. He had endured Thanos' physical and mental torture, he was done being subjected to Thanos' cruel whims. That monster had done enough to him. Thanos would ruin his life no longer.

They finished their adventure through the city. Then Thor took them to the training grounds where he and Steve sparred good naturedly as the others laughed and cheered them on. Even Loki who had always hated training, watching it or participating in it, had a good time. Truly having friends made all the difference in the world.

Once Thor and Steve finished horsing around, the seven of them all stood around poking fun at each other and talking and laughing until they were interrupted by the appearance of Lady Sif and The Warriors Three.

Loki hadn't seen them since they had watched his memories in the throne room along with everyone else. He couldn't say he really wanted to see them now, but he supposed he had to face them eventually and at least his friends were there. He would have hated to have to face them alone.

"Thor, My Friend," Volstagg said throwing his arm around Thor's shoulders. "We've seen not hide nor hair of you for days."

"I've been busy," Thor said, gently shrugging Volstagg's arm off and stepping over to stand next to Loki in a very obvious message.

"About that, Thor," Sif said. "We were wondering if we might speak to Prince Loki."

"I don't answer for my brother. You wish to speak to him, ask him," Thor said, earning a pleased and grateful look from Loki.

In years past, Thor wouldn't have hesitated to make decisions for Loki whether he agreed with them or not. Now, not only was Thor treating him like and adult and an equal, but he had subtly chosen Loki over his friends. Thor hadn't even spent any time with the four warriors in the last few days in favor of spending time with Loki instead. It spoke volumes in a way no words ever could have.

"Of course, my apologies, Prince Loki," Sif said, finally turning to him. "May we have the privilege of speaking to you in private for a moment?" she asked.

Loki was surprised and somewhat wary of the respectful tone. The four of them, and especially Sif, had never treated him with kindness or respect. They had bullied and walked all over him, only ever showing grudging respect when the situation and protocol demanded it. Apparently Thor was a bit wary of the radical change as well as he tensed a bit at the request of a private conversation. However, Thor still held his tongue and left the decision up to his brother.

Loki thought about it for a long moment. He could turn them down and go off with Thor and his friends but something in their eyes told Loki that if he acquiesced to their request then something would change between them, possibly for the better. Loki had never truly been friends with the four and he might not ever be, but he knew they were Thor's friends and Loki didn't want Thor to have to choose between them. If he could get on better terms with Sif and the warriors three then Thor could have both.

"Very well," Loki agreed.

Next to him, Thor stiffened and sent him a look that said he wanted to come with him but Loki reached out and gave Thor's arm a reassuring squeeze. This was a conversation Loki needed to have with the four alone and they were no longer children. Loki had endured and learned much in recent times, he could take care of himself if their motives proved to be less than honorable.

Loki and the four warriors walked a short distance away from the group, out of earshot but still within sight. Loki stood across from them, his arms crossed and his guard up against anything they might say or do, or so he thought.

He was not at all expecting them each to suddenly drop to one knee before him and place their right fists over their hearts. The action (which seemed to actually be due to genuine respect rather then forced obedience as had been the case when Loki had become king what seemed like a lifetime ago) stunned Loki so thoroughly that his arms dropped to his sides and he stared at the four warriors in front of him with his mouth slightly agape.

"My Prince," Sif said, her head bowed along with the other three. "We wish to tell you how sorry we are for the way we have treated you all these years and beg for your forgiveness. We treated you horribly. We bullied you. Insulted you. We looked down on your skills and methods and we saw you as less important than Thor. We never once thanked you for saving our lives the many times that you did so and we never even gave you the credit for those instances. We have been so wrong, so unfair, and so blind."

"We were young and immature and we acted as such," Volstagg admitted.

"We thought we were being strong and brave warriors but our actions only belied our ignorance a foolishness," Hogun added.

"There is no excuse for our actions and we know we can never fully atone for them," Fandral said.

"But we beg you now for your forgiveness and tell you how sorry we all are," Sif raised her eyes up to meet Loki's, truth and sincerity shining in her gaze. "I am truly sorry, Prince Loki," Sif said.

"As am I," Hogun said also meeting his gaze.

"And I" Volstagg added from where he looked at his youngest prince.

"And I too am sorry for my actions and my slights and I beg your forgiveness," Fandral said, humbly and sincerely, something Loki had hardly ever heard in the blond's tone before.

The four of them fell silent after that, holding Loki's stunned gaze as he stared at them dumbfounded.

"I-" he said, breaking off, and his mouth silently opened and closed a couple of times before he finally found his tongue and his brain finally started working again. "I forgive you," he said and hope and smiles spread across the four faces looking up at him. "However," he amended, "I cannot trust you."

The four in front of him broke eye contact with him and looked back down at the ground sadly.

"All the things you said and did to me over the years cannot be washed away by one apology. I want to believe you are sincere and I want to have everything be all right between us. If not for my sake then for Thor's. But I can't forget all those years so quickly. And I cannot trust you so easily," Loki explained.

"We will prove to you that we mean what we say. We will earn your trust, I swear, My Prince," Sif said.

"As do I," Hogun said.

"And I," Volstagg added.

"Me as well," Fandral agreed.

"I truly hope that you do," Loki said, genuinely hoping he could learn to trust and get along with Thor's childhood friends. "Now stand up, you look ridiculous," Loki said with a grin.

The four of them returned the smile and stood before bowing before him in respect.

"Thank you, My Lord. We will not let you down," Sif said.

That was all the surreality Loki could take so he dismissed them with a small nod and turned to rejoin Thor and the Avengers.

"What was that all about?" Tony asked as Loki reached them.

"That, My Friend, as your Earth saying goes, was a pig flying," Loki said.

"I do not understand," Thor said, causing the others to start laughing.

"I'll explain it to you on the way back, Brother," Loki promised as the seven of them started walking back toward the palace, first laughing at Thor's confusion then offering advice and opinions on Loki's encounter with Sif and The Warriors Three.

Time would tell, but it seemed Loki's memories had changed a lot of opinions and opened many eyes to the younger prince's true strength and worth, even if said prince was still having trouble seeing it himself.

* * *

><p><strong>AN I hope you guys have enjoyed the fluffier chapters because things are about to take a complete one-eighty on us. The good times could only last so long and it's about to start falling apart. Next chapter, a threat is confirmed and Loki gets backed into a corner. **

**Let me know what you think! Until next Friday! :)**


	15. Trouble Confirmed

**A/N Okay, first off, next week is Christmas so to everyone who celebrates it, Merry Christmas! Now a question: Since next week is Christmas and a lot of people will be busy opening presents, playing with their new 'toys,' and visiting with family, are you guys going to be too busy for fanfic? Should I wait an extra week to update? If you guys want an update, I can update no problem, I just don't want to intrude on anyone's holiday plans. So just let me know. **

**All right, things are starting to heat up just a bit. We'll still have some lighter moments here and there but things are going to start getting more serious for a while. **

**Thanks to all my reviewers! I love you guys and every review you send me! :)**

_**thewriterstory**_

_**Ophelia Lokisdottir**_

_**Aka-Baka Hoshi**_

_**aliceindeepdarkwonderland**_

_**Son-of-hiddle**_

_**RossyGaray**_

_**ImperfectIsPerfect**_

_**literaturelife7**_

_**OkieDokieLoki**_

_**RoxasGuyXIII**_

_**maliha1205**_

_**pallyndrome**_

**Trouble Confirmed**

It had been a full week since Loki had come home and things between him and his friends and family only got better, while things within his mind seemed to only grow worse.

He found himself often having to bite back caustic comments or venomous insults. All too easily they popped into his mind and sprang to the tip of his tongue. So far, he had always managed to catch himself before the traitorous side of him let something slip and drove everyone around him away with hurtful words. However, it made it so he was constantly having to police himself. Thinking about his words before speaking them, but not taking so long that anyone got suspicious about his delayed responses and called him on it.

It was a balancing act. He had to constantly make sure his scrambled mind didn't ruin everything he had managed to gain back, but at the same time, he couldn't let anyone notice that anything was less than okay with him. It was exhausting and the many nights of little to no sleep weren't helping. He honestly didn't know how much longer he could keep it up. At this rate, he would either finally slip and hurt his friends and family and tear down the bonds he had manage to build, or he would truly lose it and go mad.

The only comfort was that it did seem to be getting better, bit by bit, every day... maybe. It was not nearly fast enough for Loki's liking but still he thought there might be progress. He didn't know if he was just getting the hang of watching his words, or if the dark part of his mind was finally beginning to fade, but it did seem like it was getting a bit easier as time went by. Unfortunately, just to top off his troubles, it was getting harder and harder to hide the moments when that phrase intruded into his thoughts.

_You will know pain._

He was starting to become more worried and sure that it wasn't simply a flashback as he had hoped. He was beginning to feel that it was Thanos himself threatening him, but Loki wasn't sure and his sleeplessness didn't help. It could very well be a flashback and he was just being paranoid. Fatigue could do that. But fatigue didn't really explain the pain that accompanied the words. He always felt a sharp pain shoot through his head when the words were spoken, and to make matters worse, the pains were growing more severe. So much so that he couldn't hold back a wince whenever it came.

The pain was always brief but it had gone from sharp to agonizing. It was all Loki could do to restrain his reaction to just gritted teeth and a flinch. However, that was enough for Thor and their friends to take notice a few times. So far, Loki had managed to wave it off as a headache or some other excuse, but he could only convince them for so long before they started getting suspicious and figured out something more was going on.

Unfortunately, that moment ended up coming much sooner than he had hoped.

Loki was in his room, laying on his bed and reading a book. Although, he, Thor and the other Avengers had been spending a lot of time together recently, they still had moments where they each spent time alone, doing their own things, much as Loki was currently doing.

At that moment, Thor was on the training grounds practicing with Mjolnir and sparring with Sif and the Warriors Three while Natasha and Clint did some target practice with their respective weapons. Earlier at breakfast, Steve had said he was planning on going to his room and doing some drawings of the city. Bruce was speaking with Eir, Asgard's chief healer, about Asgardian healing technology, and Loki wasn't really sure where Tony was as the billionaire hadn't had much interest in Asgardian medical tech, having shown more interest in the other technologies Asgard had to offer, such as the bifrost. He hadn't mentioned exploring the workings of any of the Asgardian technologies at breakfast, though.

After breakfast, Loki had decided to return to his room and lose himself in a book in the hopes that maybe it would lull him to sleep, but he had had no such luck. For as tired as he was, his mind just refused to fall asleep. Although that may have been a good thing, considering what had happened the last time he tried taking a nap during the day.

Loki had been reading for about an hour when he was brought out of his book by a light knock on his open door. He looked up to see Tony step into the room.

"Hey, Lokes, what're you doing?"

Loki raised an eyebrow at him and pointedly looked down at the book in his lap then back up at Tony with a smirk.

"Oh, right," Tony said, shrugging off the unspoken 'duh.'

"Did you need something, Tony?" Loki asked, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed before placing his book on the bedside table.

"I was just in the mood for a snack and I was walking by your room anyway, so I thought I'd stop in and see if you wanted to come with," Tony offered.

"Sure. Why not?" Loki said and stood up to retrieve his boots.

He pulled them on and turned to Tony, opening his mouth to speak to the billionaire when, suddenly, agony ripped through Loki's mind and body and he collapsed to his knees with a cry of pain. He felt a tug on his mind and his room disappeared. Through the excruciating torment shooting through his mind and tricking his brain into thinking his body was being torn apart, Loki found himself somewhere else without his body ever moving from his room.

Images flashed through his mind in rapid succession. Chitauri flooding into Asgard; warriors being cut down left and right; Asgard fallen and burning; Thor, Frigga, and Odin lying bloody and dead; the Avengers lying nearby in the same condition; Loki himself lying broken and bleeding on the ground near his family and friends, only moments from following them into death. And above it all, towering over Loki and the other dead and dying was Thanos, standing tall and malevolent. Next to him was a man with a red face, holding the very spear Loki himself had used on Earth. Loki struggled to draw his final breaths as pain surged through him. Helplessly, he looked up at Thanos. The purple man smiled sadistically at him and spoke.

_I am coming for them and for you. You will watch them all die, then you will know pain._

Loki returned to his body with a jolt and the pain disappeared, leaving him kneeling on the floor where he had fallen, panting and shuddering.

"Loki? What's wrong?" Tony asked worriedly, crouching down next to him and gently laying a hand on his back.

Any thoughts Loki might have had about brushing it off and denying that anything was wrong had fled the moment he collapsed in pain and images of pain and death flooded his mind. Now he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Thanos was coming, and that scared him. He wanted to take care of it himself and keep his family and friends and his realm safe, but he knew he couldn't do it on his own.

"Thanos is coming," Loki whispered.

"Here?" Tony asked.

"Yes."

"How do you know?"

"He's been touching my mind. Telling me I will know pain."

"Why haven't you said anything before now?" Tony demanded.

"I wasn't sure it was truly him until now. I thought it was simply nightmares and flashbacks. I hoped it was just memories," Loki said softly.

"We need to warn your family."

"No."

Loki stood up, regaining his composure as the pain and images faded and his resolve to keep this to himself returned. He regretted telling Tony. He had told Tony in a moment of weakness, but that didn't mean he had to tell his family too.

"Why not?" Tony asked.

"Thanos is coming for me. It's my problem not theirs," Loki said with a shake of his head.

"That's bull. Someone is threatening you. That makes it their problem," Tony said.

"It doesn't have to be. I can handle this."

"Do you really think your family wants you to handle this? Don't you think they want to help you?"

"It's not their problem," Loki said again. "If I can take care of it, they never even have to know."

'And I can finally make them proud of me,' he thought.

"You really think Thanos will just leave them alone? You really think that he won't go after them just to hurt you?" Tony asked incredulously.

"All the more reason for me to keep this between Thanos and myself."

"This is stupid!" Tony yelled in frustration. "You're not even going to warn them? Let them know there is a danger, if not for you then for them?"

"They are not in danger! Nothing will happen to them. I won't let it!" Loki yelled back.

"Stop trying to earn their love!"

Loki's mouth snapped shut in shock.

"I- I'm not-"

For once his silver tongue abandoned him as shame flowed through him. Tony had seen right though him and Loki was ashamed that not only had someone been able to read him so well, but it was true. After so long, after so many people, including his own family, telling him that he was loved, he still felt the need to earn their love and pride. And he couldn't seem to stop himself. Even if he knew in his head that he didn't need to do things to make his family care, he couldn't seem to help trying anyway. What was wrong with him? Was he so weak and insecure that he couldn't take his family at face value but instead felt the need to prove himself? To do something big and heroic to make himself worthy of being Odin and Frigga's son and Thor's brother? Was he that pitiful?

"You think you have to do or say something to make them love you, but you can't."

Loki looked away, blinking back tears. He refused to cry. Tony reached out and grabbed his shoulder, forcing Loki to turn back to him.

"You can't earn their love because you already have it. When are you going to start letting yourself believe that?"

Loki pulled away from Tony and turned his back to the man as a single tear rolled down his face. He quickly pulled himself together, though, roughly wiping away the tear before turning back to Tony, his expression closed and unyielding.

"It's my problem. I won't tell them," he said stubbornly.

'I won't give them any more reason to regret me,' he added mentally.

If it came to it, Tony would warn Odin, Frigga, and Thor himself but he wanted Loki to do it. Whether the younger prince wanted to admit it or not, he knew as well as Tony that his family was in danger. Thanos would come after them just because Loki cared about them if for no other reason. And the way to save them wasn't to keep the information from them and let them be taken off guard. It was to tell them and let them help Loki in the coming fight.

"Look, I know you're dealing with a lot right now and your head is still all scrambled, but tell me, deep down, underneath all the crap, all the fronts and pride and stubbornness, at the very core of you, do you care about them?" Tony asked.

Loki opened his mouth to answer but Tony cut him off.

"No! I want the truth," Tony said, his eyes brokering no room for argument.

He had had enough. Loki's stubborn sense of guilt, self-depreciation, and feelings of sole responsibility was going to get him killed and Tony was not about to let that happen. Tony knew he could talk to Loki all day and not change anything. The only person Loki couldn't argue with or ignore completely was himself. Tony just needed to rile him up and get him to verbally back himself into a corner, and the billionaire knew challenging Loki's love for his family would be just the thing to get him to see sense.

"No lies, no deflecting, no skirting around the subject. Look me in the eye and tell me, yes or no, do you, at the very deepest part of you, even care whether they live or die?"

Loki raised his eyes to meet Tony's and they shared a long, hard look before he finally spoke.

"Yes," Loki said softly.

"Well, that sounded convincing," Tony snorted sarcastically. "How about we just keep this to ourselves and let them all get blindsided by Thanos? All he's going to do is kill them after all. Let's just forget about it and let it go. It'll be easier that way. They're not that important anyway. "

"How dare you suggest they don't matter!" Loki exploded. "My family is everything to me! They are my life!"

Tony looked Loki right in the eye, a fiery gleam shining in his brown eyes as he spoke intensely.

"Then save them."

* * *

><p><strong>AN And there you have it for this week. Please let me know what you think and be sure to let me know if you want an update next Friday like normal or not. :)**

**Next chapter, Loki finally clues everyone else into what's going on, plans are made, and Loki and Frigga have a tender mother/son moment.**


	16. New Threats and Old Apologies

**A/N I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! And if you don't celebrate Christmas, I hope you had a wonderful week! Most of you said that you wanted a chapter so here we go. **

**Thank you to all my reviewers! You guys make writing this story even more fun than it already is! :)**

_**pallyndrome**_

_**ImperfectIsPerfect**_

_**Ophelia Lokisdottir**_

_**OkieDokieLoki**_

_**RossyGaray**_

_**literaturelife7**_

_**Son-of-hiddle**_

_**maliha1205**_

_**Aka-Baka Hoshi**_

_**aliceindeepdarkwonderland**_

**New Threats and Old Apologies**

Loki and Tony walked into the Throne room where the royal family and the other Avengers were gathered, as per Loki's request.

"Loki, what is this about?" Odin asked.

Loki hesitated and glanced at Tony before steeling himself and turning back to Odin.

"Thanos is coming," he declared.

Frigga gasped and reached out to lay a hand on his arm.

"Here? Why?" Steve asked.

"He's coming after me, and he will raze all of Asgard to get me."

Frigga looked at Loki with a fearful expression and her grip on his arm tightened as if she was afraid he would be taken away from her if she didn't hold onto him. He reached up and covered her hand with his own which seemed to comfort her a bit.

"He will have to go through me first," Thor said, a fiery look in his eyes.

Loki couldn't stop the small smile that spread across his face at the words. He had brought danger to Asgard simply by being there and yet Thor didn't seem angry except at Thanos for threatening his brother.

However, that smile was quickly replaced by shock and awe as Odin spoke.

"Yes, let Thanos come. It is past time that he pay for the pain he caused my son."

Loki stared at his father in disbelief. Odin had never said anything like that before. Not about him. It was always Thor. Thor had been the one Odin always sought to defend and avenge. Loki had only ever received punishments and chastisement. He had only ever received what he had deserved, what he had brought on himself. But now Odin was speaking with genuine anger about making someone pay for Loki's pain. Maybe Tony was right. Maybe it was time Loki let himself believe that his family truly did care about him. Maybe it was time to let his doubts and suspicions go and stop looking for some ulterior motive. Maybe it was time to let himself accept that he really was worthy of being loved, not for his actions, not for his accomplishments, but just by being him. Loki felt his throat constrict but resolutely refused to cry. He would not embarrass himself in front of his family and friends.

"How do you know he's coming?" Natasha asked, pulling Loki out of his emotional thoughts.

"I know," was all Loki said.

"Okay, so he's coming, but we destroyed his army so it's just him, right?" Clint asked.

"No, you destroyed most of his army but he still has a remnant, and for him, a remnant is enough," Loki said.

"How many is a remnant?" Natasha asked.

"At least a thousand, likely more."

"You and I have very different definitions of the word remnant," Tony said.

"Fair point," Loki conceded. "But there's more. He has another accomplice."

"You mean like you were?" Clint asked. After a moment, he realized how his words sounded and he started fumbling to try to fix it. "I mean, not like you. I mean, someone not Chitauri who is helping him- Not that you helped him- Not on purpose... I..."

"If you can't see over the top, stop digging," Steve said.

"Sorry," Clint said.

"Relax, Clint," Loki said with an amused smirk. "I know what you meant." The memory of the red-faced man from his vision flashed through Loki's mind and he grew serious again. "Thanos has a man with him. I believe he is playing a role similar to the one I did. However, unlike me, he is helping of his own free will."

"Do you know anything about him?" Natasha asked.

The vision hadn't given him much but he knew a little. "Just what he looks like and a name," Loki said. "Red Skull."

"What?" Steve asked, his head snapping up. "What does he look like?"

"The name pretty much says it all. Red Skull," Loki said.

"But it can't be," Steve said.

"What is it?" Thor asked.

"Red Skull. He was my enemy back in World War Two. But he's dead. I saw it with my own eyes," Steve said.

"Was he by any chance near the tesseract when he _died_?" Loki asked, a theory forming in his mind.

"He was holding it. Why?" Steve said.

Loki looked at everyone as if it were obvious but they all looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to spell it out.

"Think. How did I get to Earth?" Loki asked.

"You came through the..." Bruce trailed off as it dawned on him.

"Tell me, did you see this Red Skull's body?" Loki asked.

"No. The tesseract shot a beam into the sky and he disintegrated," Steve said.

"He wasn't killed. He was transported," Tony concluded.

"Exactly," Loki said.

"But why is he just now showing up? It's been seventy years," Steve said.

"Remind me again how you ended up in the nineteen forties," Loki said, waiting for them to put it together.

"A machine that... was powered by the tesseract," Steve said, wanting to kick himself for not connecting the dots.

"The tesseract can move people through time as well as space," Loki said. "It is likely that Red Skull appeared in this time recently, probably after the Battle of New York. Otherwise I would have known about him and Thanos would have utilized him in the battle."

"What can we expect from this Red Skull?" Frigga asked.

"Red Skull was injected with an early version of the same serum that gave me my abilities," Steve said.

"Basically, picture an evil, insane version of Steve and you've got the idea," Tony said.

"So we have to face Thanos, mister evil, ominous, and dangerous himself, and he also has an evil Steve with him. This is like the Battle of New York all over again, except the benefactor himself is joining the fight," Clint said.

"And this time Loki is on our side. That should make a huge difference," Bruce said.

"He's right, Green and Gold," Tony said slapping Loki on the back. "It'll be much easier on us having you with us than against us."

"If you can fight even half as well as you did while under the tesseract's influence, then you'll be a great asset," Natasha added.

"When can we expect Thanos to come?" Thor asked.

"I don't know exactly, but soon. The voice has been getting louder so I'm almost certain he is drawing closer," Loki said.

"What voice?" Odin asked.

Loki mentally cursed himself for his slip. He really didn't want to tell them about this. Tony reached over and squeezed his shoulder, causing the younger prince to look at him. They held each other's gaze for a long moment before Tony nodded his encouragement, his gaze saying it all. _You need to trust them._ Loki broke eye contact and took a deep breath.

"For the past several days, I have heard Thanos' voice in my head," Loki admitted.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Thor asked, a slight tone of betrayal in his voice. He had thought he had earned Loki's trust.

"I thought it was just a memory or a flashback," Loki said.

'And I was afraid to tell anyone. I didn't want anyone to think there was something wrong with me,' Loki thought.

Everything had been going so well. Things had been getting back to normal. They had even been good, better than Loki's life had been for a long time, and Loki was starting to feel happy. He hadn't wanted to mess it up.

"I thought it was just a nightmare haunting me, but as it continued to pervade my thoughts, I began to think that perhaps it wasn't coming from my own mind. It wasn't until today that I was sure," Loki admitted.

"What did the voice say?" Bruce asked hesitantly.

Loki paused for a long moment, his gaze dropping to the floor, before reciting the phrase that had haunted his thoughts and dreams.

"You will know pain."

Odin's hand tightened on Gungnir and and his jaw clenched angrily. Next to Loki, Frigga's eyes flashed in anger and she gripped his arm again. No one threatened their son.

"It is Thanos who will know pain," Thor said. "No one threatens my brother." He reached out and gripped Loki's shoulder. "Not while I still draw breath."

_You will watch them all die._

'Not while I still draw breath,' Loki silently vowed.

**)()()(**

Loki took a deep breath of the cool night air as he stared out over Asgard. After all the talk, planning, and thinking about Thanos that Loki and the others had been doing for the past couple of hours, the younger prince needed to clear his head a get away for a while. That was how he had found himself standing on one of the palace balconies, his hands resting on the cool, flat top of the stone balustrade. He looked out at the city without really seeing it, lost in his thoughts.

The plans had been decided. The armies, weapons, food, and medical supplies would be gathered, other needed preparations would be made, then... Then they would wait. It wouldn't be long, no more than a few days before Thanos would arrive. Loki could feel that much.

Loki hated the waiting. It was like holding his breath in anticipation of a storm that could strike at any moment. He wanted to get it over with, but at the same time, it was all happening too fast. If Loki was honest with himself, he was scared. But, oddly enough, not for himself. Obviously, some part of him was afraid of what Thanos might do to him if the titan got a hold of him again, but that wasn't what had his hands trembling, his breath quickening, and cold sweat breaking out on his forehead. What scared- no, terrified him was what Thanos might do to his family.

Thanos wouldn't hesitate to kill any of Loki's family, if only to hurt him. Loki cared about them, and that made them targets. If anything happened to any of them, Loki would never forgive himself. It would be all his fault. Thanos was coming for him. If Loki wasn't there, Thanos never would have turned his eye on Asgard. Loki's family would never have come under Thanos' threat if they weren't trying to protect Loki. Every life lost in the coming battle would be on Loki's head. The blood of the dead on Loki's hands.

Even as Loki stared out at the city, _his _city, the lights glowing in the night suddenly looked far too much like scattered fires and the once peaceful and beautiful cityscape seemed to morph into a nightmarish view of destruction in his mind's eye.

Loki closed his eyes against the view of the city but he couldn't escape the horrible images that floated behind his eyes. Images of destruction, blood, and death. He took a deep, shaky breath and leaned more of his weight on the balustrade until it felt like his arms, braced against the stone railing, were all that was holding him up.

"Loki?" a soft voice said from behind him. Loki sucked in another deep breath, trying to compose himself as Frigga stepped up behind him and placed a gentle hand on his tense back. "Something troubles you." It wasn't a question.

"It's my fault," Loki whispered, opening his eyes once more but keeping them on his hands pressed flat on the top of the balustrade rather than meeting Frigga's eyes.

"What is, My Son?" Frigga asked.

"This. All of this. The coming battle, the danger. Thanos wouldn't be coming here if it wasn't for me," Loki said.

Frigga gently cupped his face and turned his head toward her.

"Look at me, My Child," she said and he raised his eyes to meet hers. "None of this is your fault."

"Thanos is coming after me," Loki said.

"Which is why he is a fool," Frigga said. "He got you once and hurt you and that was enough to earn him the wrath of your father, brother, and myself. But now he seeks to come after you within Asgard itself. That has earned him the wrath of all Asgard. No one hurts or threatens a prince of Asgard without consequence."

"But if I wasn't here-"

"Then he would still be coming after you but you would be alone, without any kind of help or protection," Frigga said.

"I am not some weak child who needs to be protected. I am not helpless," Loki protested, anger seeping into his voice.

"I never said you were," Frigga said, placing a hand on Loki's chest to calm him. "But even the strongest and bravest warriors need help sometimes. We want to help. All of Asgard wants to make Thanos pay for his crimes and your friends and family want to bring him down for what he did to you. Now, you don't wish to be protected, so stop trying to do the same for the rest of us. Stop trying to take all burdens and blame on yourself. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. Stop trying to do it all alone."

Frigga caressed his cheek and Loki closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, feeling some of his guilt and fear slip away. After a moment, he opened his eyes and looked into hers.

"I need to apologize to you again for the things I said to you when you came to my cambers the first day I was home," Loki admitted, but before he could make said apology, the hand that had been resting against his cheek, moved and Frigga's fingers lightly pressed over Loki's lips.

"Hush, My Little One," Frigga said before returning her hand to Loki's cheek. "You have nothing to apologize for. You were angry, hurt, and confused. I won't deny that it did hurt at the time, but nothing you could ever do or say would make me love you any less than I have since the day you were placed in my arms and became my son in every way that matters."

She wrapped her arms around him and held him close. Loki readily returned the embrace, feeling himself relax for the first time that evening as some of the weight on his shoulders finally lifted.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean what I said," Loki whispered.

"I know," she replied as she pulled back and brushed a strand of hair from his face. "I love you, My Little One."

"And I you, Mother," Loki said, resting his forehead against hers for a moment.

"Now," Frigga said in a lighter tone as she pulled back. "You had better go find your brother before he begins to tear apart the palace looking for you."

Loki chuckled at the very real possibility. It wouldn't surprise him if Thor had also recruited their friends to help him. He wiped the smile off his face, replacing it with a mock severe expression.

"I must go face this threat, Mother. If Thor is allowed to roam free for too long, the palace will be in serious jeopardy. He will likely enlist the help of the other Avengers as well. All of Asgard could be in danger. It falls to me to save us all from this peril," Loki declared in a falsely grave voice, causing Frigga to chuckle at him. Then he lowered himself to one knee before her and took one of her hands in both of his, once again speaking in that mock serious tone. "Mother, I fear that with the level of danger this mission possesses, I may not return. If I do not, know that I fell for a worthy cause and do not weep for me!" Loki proclaimed, standing and throwing out his arms with an exaggerated flourish.

Frigga laughed outright at his antics, causing a huge smile to spread across Loki's face. He loved making her laugh.

"Well, then, go face this terrible danger," she said, shooing him away. "I will pray for your safe return."

Loki gave her one last warm but mischievous smile then took his leave.

"I'm worried about him," Frigga said once Loki was gone.

"As am I," Odin said, coming to stand behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder as they both stared at the door that Loki had disappeared through moments before.

"He has placed on himself so much guilt and responsibility that is not his to carry," she said, turning to face her husband.

"We cannot take the weight from his shoulders if he won't relinquish it. Perhaps the coming battle will alleviate him of some of his burdens."

"I'm afraid," Frigga admitted. "Thanos is powerful and he has his sights set on Loki. Thor will never let anything happen to him, and that puts them both in danger."

"I know, but this is a fight that cannot be avoided. Thanos must pay for what he has done," Odin said.

"I know, but I don't want to lose him." Odin gently pulled her into his arms and held her as a few tears rolled down her face. "I don't want to lose either of them."

"Nor do I, My Love," Odin said. "Nor do I."

**)()()(**

Thor stalked up yet another hallway before turning into the throne room and looking around the spacious area.

"You had better stop rampaging through the halls. You're going to scare the servants again."

Thor spun around to see Loki push away from a nearby pillar.

"There you are!" Thor said. "Where have you been?"

"In the palace," Loki said.

Technically he had been outside the palace on one of the balconies but it was connected to the palace so it counted in Loki's mind.

"Fine, if you do not wish to tell me, I will not press you," Thor gave in. "But come, our friends are still looking for you."

Loki rolled his eyes.

"I knew you would enlist their help. Well, we better go tell them you found me before they break something or startle someone."

* * *

><p><strong>AN Please review and let me know what you think! Call it a late Christmas present! :)**

**_A lot_ is happening next chapter so get ready. Thor and Loki find the other Avengers and some humor ensues, Loki helps Tony and Steve with a small problem, Jarvis makes an appearance, Loki finds out exactly when Thanos will arrive, Thor and Loki have a brotherly moment, and Tony and Steve have a father/son moment. It's the calm before the storm and when it's over, chaos will reign.**


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